Chapter XXXVI:

Road

Days passed, but Kodora was only slightly aware of the passage of time.

They went by in a strange haze of semi-consciousness and dreams of people he didn’t know and places he had never been. All Kodora was really aware of was the pain in the shoulder that had spread to every corner of his body. It was a dull, throbbing pain now- not sharp like it had been when he had first been stabbed. The blood loss had stopped, but the pain had not subsided.

When he was awake, he couldn’t move, could barely think. He could only look around the room he was in blearily. He was in a white room, a hospital of sorts, maybe. There was always someone by his side. Someone said at one point that he must have been poisoned somehow, it was the only explanation, but the poison had no known cure. Nothing was working. It would not leave his body. They had never seen this before.

When he was conscious for longer periods of time, they tried to feed him solid food. He couldn’t stomach it. It would come back up.

Sometimes he would start screaming and writhing and pulling at his hair, his eyes wide open, neither awake nor asleep.

There was a television on the opposite wall, but it was rarely on. When it was, it was only news. Kodora only remembered a few specific things- news crews who “had dared to venture outside” reporting on the “horrors, monstrosities and carnage” the Abyss had left behind. There was video of the ruins that had once been Thorn. Kodora didn’t really have a picture of what Thorn used to look like to compare to the film, but he didn’t need it. Even in his semi-conscious state, he could see how terrible the pictures were.

They plagued him in his dreams.

The person who was beside him would wipe away the tears he shed in his sleep.

Kodora was fairly certain that the person with him was almost always the same. He could remember vaguely of a change in shifts, someone relieving the other. And other times, he could remember the person leaving the room for a moment, but someone still being there, stroking his hand gently, whispering his name, telling him to hold on.

After a couple days, he was able to ignore the pain more, able to stay awake longer, able to think more clearly. The pain never went away, he just didn’t pay attention. He had slept enough. He didn’t want to sleep anymore.

The first time he was conscious enough to identify who it was, the person who was sitting next him was Rin. The silver haired boy was flipping through an old book on the stool beside the bed. Now was the first time that Kodora noticed that there were no windows in the room at all. It was impossible to tell if it was day or night.

“Oh!” Rin gasped as Kodora forced himself into a sitting position, “Torakiba-san, please don’t move so much! I mean, it’s amazing that you can, but I don’t think it’s very good for your body to be-”

“Rin-chan~” The door to the room opened and Tenka appeared there. He was carrying a paper bag with “Underburger!” written on it in bold, bright lettering. “I brought you some lunch~”

Rin looked over at the redhead frantically. Kodora’s arms shook just from his attempt to support his own weight. He managed to sit up, but collapsed against his pillow. “Oh,” Tenka said simply. “Is he awake?” he asked Rin. The expression on Rin’s face changed, and he rolled his eyes.

“He sure looks like it, doesn’t he?” he said sarcastically.

“Well, I don’t know! He’s acted all kinds of weird since we brought him here! Half the time, I can’t tell what’s happening to him!”

“Tenka!” Rin snapped. There was a short moment in which Tenka realized what he had said.

“Sorry,” mumbled the taller boy, half to Kodora and half to Rin.

Kodora wanted to say something, but his throat was too dry for him to speak. Rin noticed him opening and closing his mouth. “Here,” he said, picking up a glass of water from the nightstand and holding it out for him.

Kodora took it and took a long, slow drink. Simple water had never tasted so good. Maybe it had been longer than he thought since he had been properly awake.

More than a few days. More than a week, probably.

“Thank you,” he whispered when he was done. It was the best he could do.

Rin smiled at him warmly. Tenka raised an eyebrow, and then seemed to remember why he was there.

“Oh, right, your lunch, Rin.” Rin looked around at him, then down at the bag he had in his hand.

“‘Underburger?’” he asked doubtingly, “Where in the world did you get that from?”

“Rai said he was tired of city rations and took me to the Underground. It took us a while-” Rin interjected here with a “no kidding,” “-But we found this place. Apparently it’s a chain throughout the Underground, and it’s actually been doing pretty well since the battle.”

Rin took the bag from Tenka’s hands and looked into it with distain. “Glad to see the grease industry hasn’t been hurt.”

“Hey, you could at least pretend to be grateful!”

“Well, you’ll have to forgive me if I’d rather eat the cheap city rations than clog my arteries with this junk.”

“You little-”

Kodora giggled into his hand. The two boys looked around at him. “I’m sorry,” Kodora said. “You two really get along, don’t you?”

“Hardly,” Rin shot, looking up at Tenka as he said it. Tenka crossed his arms and pouted. Rin rolled his eyes yet again and turned back to Kodora. Then he remembered something. “Oh, we haven’t properly introduced ourselves, have we? As you’ve probably figured, I’m Rin, and this is Tenka. We’ve been helping take care of you for the past few days, with Rai-san, our… associate. Your mother has been with us too, but she’s been helping out other mothers down here and taking care of the children.”

“She’s too shy to see you,” explained Tenka. “She thinks she’s made a fool of herself.”

Kodora fondled the glass cupped in his hands. “Hmm?” was all he could think of to say in response. There was a moment of silence and Rin reluctantly pulled a burger out of the paper bag and began to unwrap it. Tenka stuck his hand in the bag and took out a couple of fries.

“Where are we?” Kodora asked, surprising the other two in the room.

“Well, simply, we’re underground. More specifically, we’re in a private room of the shelter’s clinic,” explained Rin, “The Alliance is keeping you here in secret. They don’t want the public to know about you. As far as they’re letting anyone know, the giant tiger that appeared over the city was a super powerful kind of Abyss no one had ever seen before.”

“Just about everyone who managed to evacuate the city is down here,” said Tenka, “So it’s pretty jam-packed. You’re top-priority if you get a room to yourself.” Only now did Kodora notice Tenka’s deep red Alliance uniform. He had probably had something to do with why Kodora was here. He looked very official for a teenaged boy.

Kodora looked back at the glass he was holding, twisting it around and watching the few drops of water left in the bottom swirl about. “I can’t stay here,” he whispered.

Rin’s eyebrows bunched together. “Torakiba-san…”

“Please, Rin-san.” His voice didn’t sound like his anymore. It was empty and strange. “I need to go home. I need to…”

“Kodora-san,” Tenka said, “You’re extremely weak. The doctor said you don’t have much-”

“Tenka,” Rin said, cutting Tenka off. He turned back to Kodora. “Torakiba-san, I don’t think I can approve of you leaving this place. You’re very sick.”

Kodora said nothing, just continued to stare into the glass.

Rin thought he reminded him of something. He remembered suddenly events of years long past- visits to the health clinic, being studied, being locked away.

And he remembered a fleeting desire he had had as a small child, playing with flowers grown by an electric sun.

The desire to escape it all. Despite warnings, despite consequences.

Rin was sure that what he had been feeling then wasn’t quite like what Kodora was feeling now, but…

“Tenka, when is Rai supposed to switch with us?”

Tenka swallowed the fries he had been chewing on and raised his eyebrows at Rin. Then he looked over at the clock on the wall above the door. “About an hour from now, I guess. Why?”

“Good,” Rin said, not answering Tenka’s question. “That gives us enough time to get out of here without him knowing.”

Tenka glanced quickly between Rin and Kodora and raised his eyebrows even further. Then he sighed.

“I knew it.”

Tenka helped Kodora remove the hospital-gown so he could change, raising it over his head. When the white fabric was lifted, the source of Kodora’s pain was revealed. Tenka visibly cringed upon seeing it.

Kodora forced himself to his feet and walked slowly to the mirror on the wall beside the door. Carefully he ran his fingers across his shoulder, watching his reflection.

There, where the hole Cyn had left was beginning to close, was a horrendous black scar that had spread through his veins down his chest and right arm. It looked like a hideous dark spider with a thousand spindly legs making their way through his body to his heart.

When they reached there, Kodora knew, he would surely die.

Cyn was killing him, whether he had meant to or not.

Tenka and Rin gave Kodora a change of clothes that were some of Tenka’s casuals, and thus far too big for him. Tenka helped him to get into them.

While they were doing that, Rin wrote a quick note to Rai.

Please don’t worry,it said, We’ll find you again.

They pulled the hood of Tenka’s sweatshirt over Kodora’s head so his white hair would go unnoticed, and Tenka carried him on his back.

The clinic was so busy and crowded that no one paid much attention to an Alliance soldier with what simply appeared to be just another injured civilian on his back.

Rin, Tenka and Rai were staying in special Alliance quarters thanks to their connections. They grabbed all the rations they could and packed them into backpacks. None of them knew how long the journey out of the city would take them. It was no small amount of time. The trains were all still out of order and most of the airships had crashed during the attack, so the only way out that was above ground was the Old Bridge, as it was called these days. It was an extensive bridge that spanned the entire way over the vast canyon known as the Valley of Thorns. It was old fashioned by Thorn standards, hence its name. The only ones who used it anymore were the poor peddlers from the villages with their carts full of merchandise to sell in the city.

The other way was through the Underground, and that was the way they would have to take. The reports had said the bridge had been badly damaged in the attack, and though it was not destroyed, there were still Abyss being seen there. A few Abyss had been seen in the Underground too, but the people of the Underground were not a force to be reckoned with. The Abyss there were disposed of quickly, and no more appeared. The “Undercity” as it was sometimes called, appeared to be a difficult place to reach for the Abyss.

It was a dangerous place, the home of crime and illicit business. It was said to be a place without rules and where the people had no concern for boundaries. It began beneath Thorn, but it had branches throughout the countryside and throughout the world, it was said. It was a maze of gigantic tunnels beneath the surface of the earth, and was constantly expanding its reach.

Most people prefered not to use it to travel, but sometimes it was convenient. Sometimes it was necessary.

The three boys decided that they would travel through the Underground for only as long as they needed to. Once they got past the Valley of Thorns, they would continue on their way above ground. Tenka had said it would be faster if they used the Underground the whole way, but Kodora said they needn’t take the unnecessary risk. He wouldn’t die on them if they took a little longer, he said.

The other two could only look at him sadly in response.

The Underground was crowded and would have been intimidating to ordinary teenagers.

These boys had never been ordinary.

It took them what they could only guess to be about a week to escape the Undercity, for there was no sun to measure days by. They walked until they got tired, then slept where they could, whether it was an inn or an alleyway.

They would have forgotten they were underground if they didn’t keep thinking about where they were going.

They had to change the bandages on Kodora’s wound constantly, for it didn’t seem to be healing at all anymore. The black mark continued to spread, slowly but surely.

It was as if his body had given up.

Not all the people in the Underground were villains. A kind, albeit somewhat burly woman, had given them directions and drawn them a simple map to the exit where they would need to get out.

The world outside was amazingly bright.

The boys surfaced from the hollowed out trunk of an old tree, which someone many years ago had put a trapdoor in. The tree was in a small copse just at the end of the Old Bridge. Tenka pulled out his other, more official map he had obtained from the Alliance. He asked Kodora to review with him which way they were going, and then they continued.

They estimated it would take them about another two weeks if they continued on foot.

And on foot was their only option right now.

Kodora was quite frustrated by the fact that Tenka had to carry him. He wasn’t a baby. He didn’t want to be a burden. He wanted to walk on his own, but no matter how much he tried, his legs would not work for more than a few steps anymore.

The countryside of this World, he thought as they traveled, sure was beautiful.

Their path was usually dirt, surrounded by meadows and wildflower fields, but when they got closer to large villages or towns, there would be cobblestones beneath their feet. Once or twice they met herds of sheep or cows being led by their herders and dogs, and for a few miles they managed to get a ride with a man and his cart full of wheat.

For a few days it rained heavily. They slept where it was possible, in caves or in towns.

The moisture did not help Kodora’s wound. The more days that passed, the more worried Tenka and Rin became.

Kodora began speaking less, or at least what he did say the other two did not understand. He mumbled strange things to himself, and could not, or would not, eat. At night his nightmares returned, and he would scream and cry and would be drenched in a cold sweat.

“Rin-san, are you happy?” he asked one day.

Both Tenka and Rin were surprised to hear him speak, at least directly to them, and especially in a coherent sentence.

They had had a late start this day because of one of Kodora’s spells. They hadn’t expected him to say anything. Usually on days like today he would drift in and out of a restless sleep on Tenka’s back.

Rin thought about his question.

“I am now,” he replied.

“Why?” asked Kodora.

Rin smiled at him kindly.

“Because of Tenka.”

Tenka did not look around at him, but turned a light shade of pink.

Kodora smiled too, but not at Rin. He was simply staring blankly in the direction his head was turned.

“Do you love Tenka?” he asked.

“I do.”

Tenka became even redder yet.

“That’s nice,” said Kodora, “I’m happy because of the people I love, too.”

“It is nice,” Rin agreed.

“But you two made each other sad for a long time.”

Rin’s brow furrowed, but he didn’t ask how Kodora knew this. If it could be explained, he probably wouldn’t understand the explanation.

“…we did,” he said plainly.

“I suppose that’s the way things go. Everything has obstacles.”

“I think you’re right,” said Rin.

“But people don’t really seem to mind. They continue despite everything, don’t they?”

“They do.”

“That’s nice,” said Kodora again.

“It is,” said Rin.

“Love is a wonderful thing,” Kodora said, and it was the last thing Rin heard him say until they reached their destination.

The last evening before they reached the Village of Three Clans, while Kodora was asleep and the feeble remains of their campfire smoldered in front of them, Tenka spoke in hushed tones to his partner who was sitting next to him.

“You know I can’t stay with you, Rin.”

Rin continued staring into the fire. He had seen this coming, though he hadn’t wanted to. He didn’t want to admit it to himself that this couldn’t last.

He said nothing. Tenka prodded the fire absentmindedly with a stick.

“I’m still a part of the Alliance, despite everything that’s happened. I have to go back, so they don’t come after us again.”

Rin was reminded of a moment not so long ago where the two of them had sat around a fire in a similar fashion. Only that time, Rai was there, and he was explaining who they were.

Rin suddenly wished Rai was there this time too. Maybe he would know what to do.

If they had told him their plans, though, he probably wouldn’t have let them go.

They couldn’t keep depending on him.

Tenka wrapped his arm around the smaller boy.

“I’ll come back to you, Rin. I promise. We can’t just run away this time.”

A tear ran down Rin’s cheek, but he wiped it away quickly. He looked up at Tenka with clear eyes.

“Realize that if you don’t come back, I’ll come get you.”

Tenka smiled, leaned over and kissed Rin gently. When the kiss broke, Rin rested his head on Tenka’s shoulder. It was like this that the two of them fell asleep, wind rustling in the trees above their heads and the fire being blown out, leaving them in darkness.

The next morning the sky above them was cloudy and threatening rain again.

At about noon, they came upon a large knoll, which took them the better part of an hour to ascend. But when they finally reached the top, they could see for over the terrain before them for a quite a ways. And in the distance was the once great Village of Three Clans, a dark figure in contrast to its green surroundings. Beyond it were mountains, the closest being the one where the Hiryuu dragons had once roosted.

Rin awoke Kodora and pointed out the village to him. Kodora smiled, more happily than he had in a while, but said nothing.

It only took them a little while longer to reach it.

When they got there, Kodora told Tenka to release him. They were outside the Fushichou main gate, the same place where Kodora, Ryuu, Tsubasa and Taimai had all left the village from, what seemed like ages ago.

The other two looked at him concernedly.

“But Kodora, don’t you want us to help you inside?” Rin asked.

Kodora shook his head. “No,” he said simply, but not unkindly. “Please stay here. There is no reason for you to come inside.”

“Will you come back?” Tenka asked.

Kodora did not answer his question. Instead he simply smiled, almost sadly, and Rin saw something in that smile.

Something holy, enlightened. Something very close to God.

They let him go.

Together they watched him walk unsteadily through the gigantic gate, his hand clutching his wounded shoulder.

And as they watched, Tenka wove his fingers into Rin’s.

And they stood there, their hands together, gazing into the village even after Kodora was long gone.

And for the first time in their lives, they prayed.

- -

The Fushichou district wasn’t any different from when they left it, Kodora mused. There were still civilians mulling about in the streets, still the same shops, still the same carts full of produce and items.

And the people still stared at him as he passed.

They had not forgotten him. No, of course not. What had it been, a year? Though it seemed like more. But he was the only one left now, and he was obviously wounded. No one dared to come near.

So he walked alone through the streets, shaky and in pain. His chest hurt. His pulse was wild.

A strange feeling came over him, and he could only identify it as the desire to go home. But as he entered the Torakiba district, as he walked past the rubble and ruin that no one was left to fix, he realized something.

He was home.

And he passed the Torakiba mansion, where he used to live, which had been burned to the ground.

His grandfather had probably been inside while it burned. In true Torakiba spirit, he would have refused to leave. He would have been left there, in his wheelchair, to watch his precious clan burn from the inside out.

And this wreckage was all that was left.

Kodora did not linger. This mansion was not where he was headed.

There were no people left in the Torakiba district. Any survivors of the massacre had fled to other villages or the city or the Underground.

The Hiryuu district had been damaged too, but not like this.

Kodora made his way slowly through the abandoned streets. He walked through all the places he had played as a child and the places where he had sat and cried until Oodora had came and found him.

He could almost still see small children still running past him. Tsubasa’s red hair blowing past her, leading Kodora by the hand, Ryuu lagging behind, as he always did, yelling for them to wait up. Oodora following behind even him, laughing.

Yes, Oodora did laugh. Kodora had seen him. Was he faking that, too?

Kodora smiled and continued. No, he decided, that was real. Oodora loved them. He had said so.

And now Kodora had reached his goal.

Before him was Oodora’s grave, the one tall stone that marked it unchanged. The ribbon Kodora had tied there still blew in the wind, though it was torn and dirty now. Kodora stumbled toward it, and his legs finally gave out. He pulled himself up to rest his back against the stone, and stared forward.

He could see the cliff where he, Tsubasa and Ryuu had used to sit and while away the hours. The trees below were only beginning to show a tinge of their autumn colors.

“Ah,” thought Kodora aloud to himself, “I wonder if it’s my birthday yet? I’ll be sixteen, if it is. Sixteen, wow…”

He smiled again. His body would have been unbearably painful if he could still feel it, for the black mark had made its way to the center of his chest. But he was beyond that now.

“I’ll have to get Tsubasa and Ryuu to come here with me. Taimai can come too, of course, since Tsubasa likes him so much. Maybe Oodora will make a cake! We’ll put sixteen candles on it and I’ll blow them out. I think I know what I’ll wish for…”

He trailed off. He was so tired. The party would have to wait. He needed a little rest first…

He closed his eyes slowly, taking in the view in front of him. It really was a nice view. As his eyes were closing, a patch of sun opened up above him in the clouds, soaking him in warmth.

And he was happy.

- -

Again Kodora stood in that dark place with the glowing road. But the road was no longer before him. Instead it stretched out behind him, into eternity. In it played familiar scenes of people he had known and not known, like reflections in a mirror.

And in front of him was nothing. He stood on the road’s edge, a vast emptiness awaiting him if he took a step.

He didn’t want to take that step. Not alone.

He didn’t want to be alone. It was frightening. He was afraid. What if he fell? Would he continue falling forever? Would there never be an end to it?

As he stared ahead, a small light appeared in the darkness. A tiny glowing orb that blinked in and out of illumination, as if trying to communicate a message.

It was a firefly.

It moved a small distance away from Kodora and then moved closer again. Kodora wanted badly to follow it, but still did not want to step off the edge.

Then he heard a voice he knew behind him.

“Nothing ever ends, child. This is only an obstacle.”

And he felt someone give him a small nudge from behind.

He twisted his head around, but no one was there.

Turning back, he swallowed.

The firefly was still there.

He took the step.