She didn’t want this.
She didn’t want any of this.
She wanted a boy-free life
A love-free life
A life where it’s just her and her friends
A life where she wouldn’t need to worry about what she might to do him,
but what she might do to herself.
She didn’t want to fall in love.
She didn’t want her heart to be his.
She didn’t want his eyes to capture hers.
She didn’t want this pain.
She didn’t want this heartbreak.
This torment, this bleeding.
She didn’t want the torture,
knowing in the end it’d crush her
She didn’t want him to know,
because she knew what he’d do.
She didn’t want her heart to be burned
by the flames of being turned away
She didn’t want to have a crush
for she’d have to leave him by December’s end
She didn’t want to feel this,
none of this blissfulness
none of this light-heartedness
none of this pain
none of this hurt.
But what she wanted most
was what she couldn’t have.
What she actually wanted
was HIM.