Another Hallmark holiday
We’ll make it go away
When Cupid comes out to play
He’ll have a surprise today!

All the slush and all the snow
That spreads on the ground below
Is so typically anti-Valentine
Or anti-“Darling, will you be mine?”

Cupid’s flying fancy-free
As far as the eye can see
Hitting people with his arrows
Making people fall in love- it really shows

Stupid Hallmark holiday
It needs to go away
When Cupid comes out to play
We’ll get our revenge today!

While all the couples and the idealists
Are being hopeless romantics
The rest of us cry our anthem- “Don’t be stupid!
Be anti-Cupid!”

We’re gathering in Central Park
And we won’t strike until a quarter past dark
While lovers snuggle up with one another
We’re lighting torches- “Hey-yeah, brother!”

It’s a Hallmark holiday
It will go away
When Cupid comes out to play
We’ll be getting our say today!

Valentine’s is drawing to a close
The mood is dark and it's morose
The lights of the city are flickering
And there’s whispering, oh there’s whispering…

“Do you see him yet?”
“No, not yet.”
“Bugger, it’s cold.”
“Wait… THERE HE IS!”
“GET HIM!!”

No more Hallmark holiday
We made it go away
Cupid’s down in his grave
And we’re dancing today!

No more Hallmark holiday
It was stupid anyways
No one needs Cupid- no way!
So happy anti-Valentine’s day!!