She goes on the internet a lot, she realizes. Spending all her free time online, on games and things. Reading stories, listening to music off online radios—everything possible.

But most of all, she talks. Forums, chat rooms, message boards—you can find her at all of them.

She lies. A lot, weaving a web of not-truths, a fake identity, a moniker, an alias, leaving her online friends to try and figure out what’s real or not.

She lives in Canada, right? Or was it America? Her lies are slipping, mentioning one thing to one friend and something different to another. Melding personalities—one of a childish thirteen year old, one of a mature fifteen year old, one of a worldly twenty year old, one of a jaded thirty-three year old.

There are some who know her under one name, and those who know her under another—her many accounts over many boards, sites, emails—and they try and figure out who’s who? Is she really a thirteen year old in Canada? Or is she a fifteen year old in Wyoming—or was it Florida?

She fabricates a false reality, and lives in online worlds. She can be anything—a thirty-three year old neurologist in Europe, a fifteen year old high school student in Florida, twenty year old salarywoman in Japan, and she can’t tell the difference between her personalities, starting to question the difference between sleeping and consciousness, the point of existence, if she really was who she was.

You could find her most on forums, with only one feature tying her personalities together. Whether she be playing the part of a thirty-three year old doctor, a fifteen year old student, a twenty year old salarywoman—she always, always wrote in cerise pink.

BBcode—she knew like the back of her hand. Align equals center, size equals two, color equals DE3163, slash color, slash size, slash align. It grew on her, even though she’d used different font colors before, differing from royal purple to light blue to hot pink to smoke gray to metallic gold to steel blue.

Why though, she’s ask herself often. Why indeed, her subconsciousness would answer, size two font because you think it makes you look smarter and people will listen to you, because they don’t in real life, center because it’s your OCD with symmetry, because you just hate things that are asymmetrical—just look at your solitaire games. It was true—she’d always move the aces at the top so that the red ones would be on the outside and the black ones on the inside. And pink, her subconsciousness admonished her, because it makes your feel normal. Like a fifteen year old.

And she believes this, thinks it’s her identity, even when she looks in the mirror, and will hang on (can’t let go) to this to the end of time, because she doesn’t want to face reality as herself.

But the problem is, she’s not a high school beauty, she’s just a thirteen year old who writes in cerise pink.

FIN

Yes, I do have that OCD with Solitaire. Sue me. DX

Happy valentines day

-Kurion