Monsters

I was asleep. At least, I had been asleep, until a strange noise had awoken me. I cannot quite describe what it was, as I was asleep at the time the noise had occurred, but I can definitely say that there was a noise, and that it was not a noise that usually pervaded the halls of my home at 3 AM.

I lunged for the light-switch on my nightstand, and flicked the switch, and a bright, healthy light flooded the room. I paused, listening desperately for any out-of-place-sounds, but there were none, aside from the thumping of my heart. It was at this point that I checked my watch, and discovered it to be 3 AM. I also began to doubt that I had heard any sort of noise, and so turned off the light. Still, I waited for a few seconds in my upright position, leaning against my bed head, and listened, to no avail. I settled back into the warmth of my bed, and tried to fall asleep again.

But, for some reason, I was wide awake. Something about that noise had been deeply disturbing, almost terrifying, and I couldn’t quite remember what the noise had been. So I lay there, for perhaps 20 minutes, trying to drift off again, when, just as I had reached a point of semi-unconsciousness, I heard another noise.

It was a strange noise, a soft and slow sliding noise that emanated from the large white cupboards that stood opposite my bed. And, suddenly, I realized. I cannot fathom as to why I had not thought of this earlier, I can only imagine that it must have something to do with the teenage mind being more pre-occupied with slightly more corporeal, real-world things at night, such as criminals and murderers. Or perhaps it was that I had simply forgotten them, after such a long hiatus. But I cast my mind back to the terrors of my childhood, and instantly knew what was plaguing me: monsters.

Monsters are tricky, half-beings, you see. Their own existence isn’t properly grounded in this reality; they are formed by the reality in the minds of people. Which, as you might imagine, creates quite a problem. Or used to, anyway. Those children that believed more strongly in monsters were more frequently visited by monsters, which only furthered their belief.

Perhaps it has something to do with the children’s minds, that makes them particularly susceptible. Adults, it would seem, are more pre-occupied, and have no time or wish to dwell on fantasies. This, of course, often results in conflicts between children who insist on the existence of monsters, and the parents who insist that they are not real. Then, one morning, they wake up to find their child has been eaten.

But nowadays, the threat has been established as real, and several new anti-monster technologies had been developed. I heard another noise, and focused my thoughts. This was no time to dwell on what had already happened. Slowly, I reached for my mobile phone, and thrust it under the sheets. Feeling for the on-switch in the dark, I tried to pierce the gloom of the room, but could only see vague outlines; nothing distinct. This, perhaps, was aided by my poor eyesight. To remedy this, I quickly jammed my glasses on, but, alas, I still could not identify anything out of place.

Well, sure, in the dark, everything looks somewhat suspect, why, once, I recall venturing back from the bathroom sometime late at night, and suddenly seeing the contour of our Christmas tree before me. Instinctively, I ducked back and recoiled, thinking it to be some looming beast or something, before realizing my folly. Ah, there was the starting tune. My phone was on.

I quickly typed in the pin code, and then ripped the phone out from the covers, so that its limited light illuminated the room somewhat. I caught a glimpse of what looked like a slimy tentacle quickly retreating back into my closet with a slight squelching sound, and my heart gave a leap. Definitely monsters.

How could I have forgotten? The light, you see, it hurts them. Makes them shrivel up. But it never fully kills them. When I had turned on the nightstand light, for instance, I had shriveled up every part of the monsters that it touched…but they always hide themselves, partially. In closets, under beds, in drawers, under desks…the light only ever delayed them, always they would come again. Hence I had to use the mobile phone. It’s light was weaker, so the monsters wouldn’t shrivel up instantaneously, and I’d be able to get a glimpse of them before they hid.

In my youth, I had always left the light on, so that they could never get at me…and, one night, my parents decided that I would have to learn to sleep in the dark sometime, and they turned off my light. I hadn’t seen the monsters in so long because of the light, they were just a distant memory, and to my great relief, they did not come that night, or the next, or the next, even with the light turned off.

But now, they had returned. Why? I did not know. What was I going to do about it? Well, a plan was already forming in my mind. I put my hand under my waterbed, where I had stashed my three metal poles. Why? I’m not sure. I always mumble something about needing them if I ever wake up to find that we are being burgled, or something, but really, there is just something reassuring about having a nice heavy weighted object close by.

I had, over my lifetime accumulated three weapons. The least, and first of my collection was a hollow metal tube that was the lightest and shortest: the trolley pole. The name is derived from the fact that these sort of poles are generally harvested from shopping trolleys, and mine was no exception. The second, which I had dubbed “The Ultrapole” was slightly longer than the first, and was a good deal heavier, as it wasn’t hollow. This one I had found lying out on the street whilst walking home with some companions one night. The trolley pole was lighter, and therefore easier to swing, whilst the Ultrapole, I imagined, would be used when a lot of force is necessary.

That is, until I discovered my third and most prized club, namely, my “Wielding Stick”. Unfortunately, it put the Ultrapole to shame. This one I had uncovered in our local abandoned warehouse on a jaunt with another set of companions, and I only fully realized its potential, when, jokingly, I had thrown it at a wall and it had seemingly disappeared. A few seconds later, however, I heard the metallic thud of it impacting, but I could not see where it had landed. Upon closer examination of the wall, I saw a small hole in the wall and realized that the pole had spun and had hit the wall while exactly parallel to the floor, and had gone clean through! Indeed, I had found it later on the other side of the wall, and had decided to keep it. It was my pride and joy, it was the heaviest, and longest, and it also had a metallic ring near the bottom of it that acted like a guard, so I could actually grip the thing like one would a short sword, or a long dagger. It was the height of awesomeness, and I was rather fond of it, I must confess.

But I digress. My prized collection of clubs is hardly of interest to you. So I reached down and grabbed the first pole I could get my hands on; the Ultrapole. I pulled it out and held it in my sweaty hands, and used all of my senses in order to sense any sort of attack that was coming my way.

Now, I was armed. What to do next? I could, of course, leave my light on all night, but that was hardly a permanent solution. All it would take was a blackout, or a busted light bulb, and I would be devoured in my sleep. I would have to go head on, I realized. Lure them out of their hiding spaces, and then turn on the light, so that their entire body would shrivel up, and they would be permanently vanquished. That should teach all the other monsters not to mess with teenagers.

But first, I had to ascertain where the monsters were hiding. I reached for my phone – which I had dropped upon grabbing the Ultrapole – only to find that it was missing. Uh-oh. The creatures had taken it! This meant, surely, that there was something hiding under my nightstand, compressed, or in a smaller form. Not inside; from this close range, I would easily be able to jam shut the drawers, or, at the very least, hear them opening. No, it was hiding under the nightstand, I was sure. I was lucky, at least, that I had a waterbed, and so wasn’t bothered by anything hiding underneath the bed.

I would hit the lights, again, I decided, and by the noises of the creatures retreating partly shriveling up, and retreating into their hiding places, I would be able to ascertain where they were hiding. I hit the lightswitch on my bedside lamp, but nothing happened. I hit it again, and again, and then retreated into the middle of my bed. Blasted creatures had pulled the plug on me! And, probably, that of my waterbed heater, as well! Which meant that it was cooling down. Which was only a minor inconvenience, really, but it was still one. Monsters are jerks.

I began to feel afraid. Which really would only make the monsters stronger, bigger, and more powerful. I tried to curb my emotions, and think logically. What could I do now? Should I try and put the plug back in? Or make a mad-dash for the light switch on the wall? No, surely, that way lay death. There was a monster in my closet, and one under my nightstand. Probably also one under my desk, nestled in the cables of my computer. Blast! What was I to do?

I only had my three poles. And, I remember, with a jolt, my anti-monster gun! Beforehand, I had mentioned anti-monster technology – this gun was a prime example of it. It had three different power settings, and with a single shot, could vaporize an entire monster, even if it was partly hidden! It was a life saver, that device. I had used it often in my youth. This, I figured, was another reason why the monsters had not returned, even when my light had been switched off by ignorant parents.

But back to my present situation. I pulled the gun out from my waterbed, and checked it. It still seemed to be all in one piece. There was only one problem: it had long ago run out of batteries. Which was why I hadn’t immediately thought of it, I figured.

So I was armed with three metal poles, and a gun without power. What other weapons did I have at my disposal? Well, none were at hand. Salt and silver also help against monsters, but I had no silver, the salt was in the kitchen. As were knives. Also, my fencing foils, I had those, too. But they were stored in my cupboard.

I had to do something. The monsters would get me, soon. So I would try and get them, first. An Ultrapole isn’t the best defense against a pack of ravenous monsters, but it will do, in a pinch. It’s better than your bare hands, anyway. I leaned over to the side of the bed, the side with the nightstand, and peered over the edge. I could not see anything, but it was pitch black, so this was no wonder.

I stabbed the Ultrapole on the floor, and quickly pulled it back, hoping to lure the creature out. Unfortunately for me, the beast had already snagged the end of the Ultrapole with a huge, furry, clawed hand, and quickly yanked it out of my hands with its superior strength. Surprised, I instinctively jerked backwards, which perhaps, saved my life, as in the next moment a second clawed hand swiped the air which I had previously occupied. I turned around, and saw a long, insectile leg, with a claw at the end, extending over the other side of my bed, and I dived under the covers.

Blankets! Perhaps the most simple defense against monsters known to man. When covered by a blanket, monsters can’t get at you. This defense of course, has a number of flaws. For one, it makes it rather hard to breathe. And secondly, if one dozes off, one runs the risk of accidentally exposing flesh, which is instantly fatal.

Part II

What to do? I had no weapons. Well, I had two remaining poles, but the creatures were unbelievably strong. It seems I had grown cocky in my teenage years. As a child, I would never have attempted such a stunt. I wondered how I had ever been so foolish as to believe I could actually harm a monster with something as mundane as a metal pole.

Still, they were weapons. If crude, semi-useless ones. They might buy me some time. I had the pistol, which was useless without batteries, and – Batteries! I simply had to get my hands on some batteries! In fact, I realized, my school calculator runs on the same batteries as my anti-monster weapon. Unfortunately, however, my bag lay square in the middle of the room. That said, my room is hardly large, and I could probably reach it from my bed. But in doing so, I would leave my entire torso vulnerable to attack from any of the three supposed monsters in my room, specifically the one under my desk.

Perhaps, I thought, another one was hiding under the ledge of my bed. You see, my father, the cabinet-maker, had made my bed frame, and then had crafted a special black pedestal, of sorts, which the bed frame stood on. Unfortunately for me, this black pedestal was smaller than the bed, and had been designed so, so as to achieve a “floating effect”, which was popular nowadays. Whilst to the untrained eye, my bed might look as though it was floating (and by untrained, I mean someone who isn’t looking at the bed from any sort of angle other than from directly above it), it also meant that monsters might be able to hide in the slim ledge that provided the effect. Damn!

I would need to distract them, momentarily. Should I just go for it and make a lunge for the light switch? No. My bag was much closer. To reach the light switch, I would have to actually fully leave the bed, and then take two or so steps. In the dark, no less. In order to get the bag, I would just have to pounce out and yank it back to the bed. Besides, the monsters would be expecting me to go for the light switch. They did not know that I needed batteries from my schoolbag.

Of course, I had other, less desirable options. I could try and stay awake until dawn, a daunting task, at best (I am man who desperately needs his sleep, I doubt I’d be able to make it), or I could yell and holler until my parents awoke, in order to see what the problem is. But I did not wish to wake them. Perhaps, they would turn on the light, but if they didn’t, they, too, were at risk. Besides, if they DID turn on the light, what would I say? Monsters, at my age? Bah. No, this was my battle to fight.

My course of action was much more daring, heroic, and, of course, is far more interesting. If I was to survive, there’d be quite a tale to tell my friends. But I had to prepare myself. Still under the blanket, I crawled over, and picked up my two remaining poles with my left hand. Then, I proceeded to wrap myself in my blanket, as best as I could. It would deter them for a moment, I’m sure, even though the defensive capabilities of the blanket are greatly diminished once removed from a bed. Then I positioned myself on the side of the bed that was closest to the bag.

I took a deep breath, in order to prepare myself, and then I set my plan into action. As quickly as I could, as well as doing my best to keep the blanket fully wrapped around myself, I pressed the light button on my wrist watch and thrust it out of my protective blanket cocoon. I had never before tried using my watch as a weapon, and so was rather nervous, but it was only my left hand I was risking, after all.

I heard some screeches and rapid movement, and felt greatly relieved; they didn’t like the LED light, however dim it may be. Acting quickly, I hurled my two poles somewhere on the corner of my bed that was between the nightstand and the cupboards with my still-illuminated left hand. They were supposed to act as decoys, and I’m not quite sure if it worked, or not. This next part was quite tricky, but I’m glad to say that I pulled it off quite nicely. I retracted my left hand and pushed the light button on my watch again with my right hand and then my hand shot back out again, whilst hurling myself out towards my bag. The light of my watch warding my left hand against the foul creatures, I was able to snatch a strap on my bag, and yank it back up onto my bed, and, in one smooth move, sort of ingested the school bag into the protective cocoon that was my blanket.

All this happened within no more than 4 or 5 few seconds – the light of the watch lasts exactly three seconds long – and I must say, I was quite proud of the maneuver. Whether it was the pole decoys, or the light of my watch, or simply my astounding reflexes, or some combination thereof, I had somehow managed to grab my bag, without damaging myself at all.

Gleefully, I rifled through my bag, using mostly touch in order to find the calculator. My watch light wasn’t very powerful, and I doubt it would have helped much. Outside the blanket that covered me like a shell, or a dome, I heard the creatures moving and snarling. They were not happy; they had missed an opportunity to get at my delicious flesh.

Finally, after searching for an age (there was a moment when I thought, horrified, that perhaps my calculator was lying somewhere on my desk), I found my calculator. I propped open the back, and pulled out two of the four Triple A batteries. This time, I did use my watch, in the hope of identifying which way I had to slot the batteries in. It was tricky, but I think I got it right. Aiming the gun away from myself, I pulled the trigger a bit, and a thin beam of sparkling white light emitted from the tip. In total darkness, surrounded by demons, protected only by a thin layer of blanket, I grinned. Now it was my turn!

I set the gun to the medium setting, and threw the blanket off myself, surprising the creatures. The light was dim, but my eyes had at last gotten used to the dimness, and I could recognize at least four monsters. I spotted the large, hairy brute that was hiding under my nightstand, the one that had stolen my mobile and Ultrapole, and had pulled the plug on my light. To the left I caught a glimpse of a fat-bodied insect like creature that towered above me on its stick-like legs – this one seemed to have hailed from the mass of cables under my desk. A greasy, oily like apparition that seemed to be made of some sort of amalgamation of smoke and liquid and emanated from one of the drawers of my desk, and finally, several octopus-like tentacles extended out from my ajar cupboard door. I wasn’t able to see the body of the latter, as it was hidden away in my cupboard, but in the split second that I was confronted by the beasts, I got the impression that the one in the cupboard was the one I should fear the most. I’m not quite sure why I thought this…perhaps it was because it alone still concealed a large part of its body, in case somehow the light turned on. It was more cunning than the others.

The hairy-beast from under the nightstand was the closest, so I fired a beam of light into it first. The medium setting beam was slightly thicker and more bright and sparkly than the lowest setting one, and struck the beast dead center in the chest. The demon gave a howl, and the light seemed to flood into its entire body from the original point of impact, until the monster seemed to be filled with light. It gave one last mournful howl, before it collapsed in on itself, and the sparkly light winked out.

I had seen all of this before, however, and was too pre-occupied to watch. I swung the pistol back and fired three more shots; one at the tentacle creature - which I’m sad to say somehow managed to dodge the beam of light – and the other two at the greasy smoke creature and the insect beast, respectively. The latter two I did manage to hit, and they suffered similar fates as the hairy beast.

I turned my pistol back towards the tentacle creature, but it had slithered back into my closet, blindingly fast. I fired a shot at the door, but the beam of light just exploded in a miniature cascade of sparkles. What to do, now? First of all, I gathered all of my weapons back. My three poles (the Ultrapole I found under my nightstand, covered in some icky substance), my mobile phone; I also plugged my waterbed heater back in, as well as my night-stand light.

I wondered what to do. The light had to stay off. Even if I ripped open the cupboard, with the light on, the creature would still be able to hide in some small crevice before and would only regenerate itself once the light was off. No, I’d have to get it with my gun. Could I use the blanket against it, somehow? Not really. In my mind, it was some sort of octopus creature. Now, if it had proper legs, and would have to walk out of the cupboard, then I would lay the blanket out in front of it. They cannot stand the touch of blanket, and as long as it was touching my bed, it would still retain a lot of this defensive power. But no, this creature would just be able to climb over it, I was certain. I’d wrap myself in blanket, I decided, as an added precaution.

But how to open the door? I couldn’t do it by hand. It’d consume me before I could pull the trigger. No…I needed something long range…easy! I’d just use some clothes as a makeshift rope, and pull the door open. I turned on the light, as a precaution (it wouldn’t dare leap out at me whilst I’d be tying the clothes to the door if it was on, I reasoned) and climbed out of bed (with the protective blanket wrapped around me, and the gun in my hand, I admit).

I gathered up some of my discarded clothes that lay in heaps around the room, and tied it them two chains, which I then tied to the two handles of my cupboard door, careful not to accidentally pull it open. Then, I climbed back into bed, and pulled the blanket around myself again. I held the anti-monster gun in my right hand. In my left, I held the makeshift ropes. On either side, lay my phone, which, at the press of a button, would produce a soft light, and my wielding stick, which I could use to beat the creature, if the gun failed. And, of course, I aimed the lamp at the door, in case I needed to shrivel it up. I had turned off the light some time before, in order to allow my eyes to better get used to the darkness. So far, the creature hadn’t made any attempt to come at me, nor had it even made any noises. It was in hiding. I smiled. Now, I was ready.

I yanked the two clothe ropes, and the door was flung open just as I opened fire. A stream of sparkling light shot right at the creature, which was in the process of leaping right out at me. Well, its tentacles were about to get me; its body was still nestled in the back of the cupboard.

The beam struck the creature somewhere on one of its tentacles, and it pushed the creature back, but, to my despair, the light didn’t seem to be spreading, as it had done with the other creatures. In fact, it seemed to be fading away!

I upped the setting, and the gun began to emit a fat beam of light, which pushed the creature right back into the closet. Its tentacles were twitching, but still, it didn’t seem to be dying. Uh-oh.

My gun failed. I’m not sure why. It was going strong, when the beam of light suddenly stopped. Maybe I was overtaxing the batteries, or maybe the gun had some sort of limit as to how long you could fire it. Normally, just a short burst was enough to finish off any monster. But not this one. This one was different, somehow. Bigger and nastier.

My left hand, upon yanking on the makeshift ropes and ripping open the closet door, had already grasped the phone, and I fumbled to press a button in order to get it to light up. The beam from my gun had been so bright, that I was effectively blind in the darkness, now. Panic rose within me. The phone lit up, to reveal the creature coming slowly out of the closet, its tentacles spreading out all across my room.

I felt the terror rise up within me. I pulled the trigger of the gun, and, to my surprise, it fired again. But the beam had the same effect as last time; that is to say, it only seemed to push the octopus-like creature back, and even this seemed to be happening with less strength. A tentacle whipped out and knocked the gun from my hands. Panicking, I flicked the light switch. The powerful light of my nightstand-lamp flooded the room, and the creature recoiled.

But it did not shrivel. Which was very, very bad. Already, it seemed to be recovering from the light somewhat. I was able to see its body, a fat mass of flesh, in the centre of which was a huge, unblinking eye. I could not see a mouth, though I guessed it would be on the back of the body somewhere. The creature would probably have a small mouth, and so would have to rip me limb from limb to fit me inside.

In my panic, I grabbed the wielding stick, and hurled it straight at the repulsive creature. It flew and spun, and, just like the time I had first thrown it in the abandoned warehouse, it hit the land-octopus directly in the centre of the eye. The beast let off a high pitched shriek, and I was filled with hope once again. I picked up the gun and aimed for the creature once more, which was writhing and twitching, and fired off a steady beam of light.

The combination of the powerful nightstand light, the powerful beam of the gun, and the powerful – well, the Wielding Stick in its eye, was too much for the beast. The sparkling light from my gun began to flood up its writhing tentacles, and soon the monster, like its comrades, was consumed by the light, and collapsed in on itself with a spectacular explosion of light.

I sighed loudly, and lowered my gun. They were all gone. Suddenly, I felt overwhelmingly tired. I managed to put my phone onto my nightstand, and rolled my other two poles off the bed, before falling asleep, with the clothes-rope next to me, the light still on, and the monster-gun still in my hand.

The next day at school, I was dogtired. The discovery that we were having a surprise maths test was therefore only met with dismay, as was the fact that my calculator was missing two of its Triple A batteries.

Damned Monsters.