I watch the moonlight reflect off the silver and travel lazily through the diamond. His back is sweaty and heaving, and I watch my hand over his shoulder and the light that floats over my ring. He kisses my neck, but it’s not really out of love or passion, it’s because he knows that’s what people do when they’re making love. I feel as though I have disconnected from my body, not feeling anything, as I focus solely on my beautiful engagement ring.

This will be the last time we do this. I feel like stopping things right now, slipping the ring from my finger, setting it on his bedside table, and just leaving, but I can’t. I must do this, not only for him, but for myself. I need this last confirmation that this is the end. I wonder if he notices how disconnected I am.

He stops for a moment, and I know it’s because he’s close, and he tells me as much, whispering it in my ear before starting up again. I cling to him, squirm slightly, breath heavily, all the things that I know will help him finish. When he finally collapses on top of me, brow wet with sweat, I wonder at how empty I feel.

Feeling empty is worse than feeling sad. When you’re sad, you can be angry. You can throw things, and yell. That’s what we used to do, we used to argue all the time, but there was passion behind it. We still fight, but there’s no passion. There’s nothing. We’re empty. We fight, and then we stop, and there’s no satisfaction in it. It’s just over. And that’s how I feel now.

It’s just over.

I look at him, and I can’t help the sad look on my face. He returns it, his mouth twitching, afraid to smile, afraid to frown. I’m not sure if I still love him. I always thought I did, thought I always would. I think even if we’re empty, maybe there’s still love. But then that would make me loose faith in love. I’ve always believed that love could do anything. All you need it love, as the song says, but it’s wrong.

Love without happiness is like chocolate without sugar, essentially the same thing, but without the sweetness that makes it worth it.

We kiss, and it’s the last time, but we don’t cry. I look at my ring, and he says “keep it” and I feel suddenly guilty for what I am doing. I don’t want to hurt him, but then he smiles, and we hug.

And life goes on.