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--G.R.

HAVE YOU EVER?

Have you ever been kicked so hard,

You thought it was a miracle your bones didn’t shatter?

Seen the bruise, dark on you skin, knowing what it’s from,

But not daring to speak it aloud?

Have you ever cut yourself,

Knowing it won’t solve the problem,

-Only make it worse-

But kept on doing it,

Loving the solace in temporary pain?

Have you ever stuck your finger down your throat,

Or refused to eat,

Knowing you’re not fat,

But wishing you were so you’d have some excuse for doing this?

Have you ever cried alone, by yourself,

Knowing in your heart,

Why you cry,

But too scared to admit it to yourself?

Have you ever swallowed a pill,

Knowing that in a few blessed moments,

You will sleep dreamlessly,

But not forever?

Have you ever stared at a knife,

For hours?

Touched its blade,

Marveling at its sharpness?

Wondering at its possible potential?

Smiled at the thought,

Of the demise it could bring?

Tested its edge on your skin?

Watched in sick fascination,

As blood ran down your fingers,

Dripping on the floor?

Tasted the metallic liquid?

Cried over the slits in your battered skin?

Have you ever loved someone,

So deeply,

With such ardor,

You would rather die,

Than watch them turn away?

Shared secrets with them,

Kissed their lips,

The brief contact,

Haunting your mind for weeks, months,

Years?

Knowing,

Watching with such passion,

Knowing that this love will eventually fade away?

Have you ever watched someone,

As their soul fell apart?

Watched as tears,

Tears of crimson,

Streamed down their face?

Cried with them,

Over their loss,

Not so much for their loss,

As for them?

Not so much as for them.

As for what they will become,

Should they continue their black mourning,

Should they ban others,

From sharing their sorrow,

Staring off blankly into the unknown,

Into the vast being of the mind,

Staring back into the depths of

HATE?

Have you ever?

Have you really?

Please tell someone you trust.

I did.

It saved my life.