The Ultimate All-Purpose Excuse

Dear heartless...er...benevolent English teacher,

I apologize profusely for my tardiness and rude comments to cover my belated arrival. So, I will give you a concise version of exactly why I was late for class...the REAL reason.

Those blue eyes staring glaringly nearly condescendingly at my incorrigible state; I almost wonder why I didn't remain Queen of Peguans. Oh, but I get ahead of myself too soon. I was late because Peguans were to take over the world. As I was nearing the classroom, I noticed a faint squeak. Too curious, or perhaps pricked by fate, my mind was burdened but to turn around. A green tuft poked its tips soft as spring's new grass to reveal itself to me. It was almost human, but how could one be sure? It had lime green hair, a shiny green skin, was bearded, and wore attire suitable for pirates; it was only approximately three feet tall at most. That was with the spiky hair. Then, startlingly, it fell to its face and piped:

"O great queen! We of the Peguans beseech you to free us of our tormented state! We have a great distress in our home! Please, we beg you to aid us!"

"Um...you don't look like a penguin..."

"A Peguan!" it cried. Embarrassed to see have anyone see it, or hear me in case I was mad, I quickly agreed.

"Well, uh...what can I do for you guys?"

"You must follow me."

"I'll be late for class," I shrieked; but remembering your lecture...er...dignified speech about morality the previous day, I decided to 'go with my gut,' to use more colloquial terms, and follow it/him/pirate/gnome/leprechaun/creature.

"Come, come," it whined in its rough English, "into the library." I turned to look if anyone was watching this, and blinked to find myself encompassed by fields of flashlights.

"Welcome to the inside of our greatest city and star!" the thing exclaimed. Then, I saw the flashlights were...homes! These pirate/leprechauns were all over! This was the inside of a star! The children were not much smaller than the adults. The major difference was that their hair was a rainbow of colors, as adults were strictly greens. I will not digress and explain detail too tediously, as I wish to write a book on my encounter one day and don't want to spoil the surprise; besides, I still have homework to finish tonight before I hand this to you tomorrow.

I met the eccentric king with the striped hair and obsession with yo-yos and silly putty who said that Earth was giving off too many chlorofluorocarbons and it was permeating everything in space, soon to kill all life outside Earth. He gave us special chemicals to release over the atmosphere to deplete these toxins. The king and all the Peguans said they wanted me to rule as queen, but I planned on taking back over the ship as we flew over Earth to return to your class as soon as possible, as it was killing me I had already missed the beginning of it. To calm the ecstatic royalty, I accepted the offer; but as we were nearing the tiny blueberry planet, I overheard the giggling captain tell his copilot that they were releasing the 'nullifying powder' to turn everyone on Earth into silly putty. The king wanted to build me a palace of silly putty and crown me queen. He would put me in every newspaper possible, and then plaster my picture on each wall.

Then I had to decide possibly the most important decision in my life. Do I accept their affections? Do I want power and domination? I could have anything I want. They want me as leader. Do I take it? Eventually, well, five seconds later, I told the captain we had forgotten the chemicals, who rushed back to check. I then knocked out the copilot's front two teeth and into unconsciousness. I put the ship into autopilot and hyper speed to rocket into the star, and then jumped into a one-person pod car to navigate myself back to this classroom whose death threats we call detention so afflict me.

I gave it all up; the power, the love, the freedom, everything. I love your class so greatly I sacrificed all of it so I could return to your supreme wisdom.

Sincerely with greatest admiration,

Your beloved student and Almost-queen of the universe

I have more random ideas and will add to this if I receive more reviews. I only want to work more on it if I have proper motivation. I also have other things to work on, so if you like it, please let me know. If thou asketh, then thou shalt receiveth in abudance.