Letters To A Loved One :

The Ones That Are Never Sent

To Begin : I know someone reading this will comment on a lack of originality, it being too common or over done, that its like the rest or something of the sort, because I've gotten a comment like this before. Truth is, I don't care. The words that I put down are never going to be enough to describe what is going through my mind, and what is filling my heart. I like it that way, because if there was a way to describe it, then there would be limits on it, and I don't like limits. This piece won't exactly be from my own point of view, but something very similar. Events will be real, and events will be made up, and some events will be somewhere in between, but I will not tell you which is which, as that will be left to you. My letters will vary in length and focus, so you can imagine that all together it is a very abstract sort of piece, different elements thrown together to create a whole. I have no plan, no aim, just my hands, my heart, and the words in my head.

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Baby,

I told you I love the rain. You said you loved it too. We danced in the rain together, heads tilted back into the chilling water that fell from the soft grey clouds. The wind howled, thunder rolled, the rain slapped the street and our skin, making a strange sort of music... and so we danced. A drop of water rolled down your nose, I kissed it off. You kissed the drop that sat on my lip. It was funny and sweet at the same time. Our shirts were plastered to our skin, and the ends of our pants were absolutely soaked from walking through puddles. Bare feet slapped softly against the concrete of the street as we walked up and down, following no particular path.

I love those days. We would come in laughing, dripping all over everything, and I'd twist my head, smacking you with my soaking wet hair, and you'd grab my shoulders and shake your own head like a dog, spraying water everywhere. Sometimes, you'd pick me up and carry me around or spin me, whether we were inside or out, and I'd be worried you were going to slip because everything was wet. I was so afraid of falling, but I should have known better. You'd never let me get hurt, never let me fall. Not if you could stop it. But still I would cry out and tell you to put me down. My mom would come out into the hall way and usher us into the basement, where towels and a floor that wouldnt be damaged by the water waited. I'd throw all of our stuff in the dryer and hand you a pair of sweats and one of my dad's t-shirts, then pull on a t-shirt and a pair of soft pants myself... It was nice to just sit there with our backs against the dryer and talk and laugh.

You'd laugh when I would sneeze, and you'd kiss the end of my nose, teasing me about how I 'sneeze like a rabbit' as you put it. I would make a face and poke you in the ribs. That would set it off, and the next thing I'd know, I was being tickled into submission. I would put my hands on your head and ruffle up your hair, but it was always pointless, because you could just shake your head and put it back into place, even when it was all wet and stuck together. (We play around like that so much, sometimes I feel like I'm a little kid again.)

But then I told you I loved you, with all my smiling and laughing. You just smiled slowly and said you loved me too, and kissed me gently in a way that made my skin tingle from my head all the way down to my toes. I love the feel of your kiss so much, even to this day it makes this small spot on my back tingle, and my knees feel like they can't hold me up.

We can't play in the rain now, its far too cold, but the snow is nice in its own way. Your nose and cheeks turn all pink, and I have to question what remains of your sanity when you're in just a t-shirt or a thin hoodie. I can't concentrate on it long though, since I'm a bit more focused on not being tackled into the cold snow. You know how the cold bothers me, but I try and brave it a bit for you. Besides, its a good excuse just to get you to hold me now isn't it? It's stupid in a way, I know, since I don't need an excuse to hug you anymore, but still, I love the look in your eyes when you notice how I'm shivering and you just wrap your arms around me and kiss the top of my head.

What I love most was when we fell asleep on my bed, watching the snow fall after we had come in from playing in it. Coats and sweaters were everywhere, our snow soaked shoes lying discarded on the floor, and we laid on my bed the wrong way so we could look out the window and see the trees and the sky and the snow, instead of the bare street that looked so ugly against that beautiful white powder that fell from the sky. Your head was nestled up under my chin, and your arm was a pleasent weight across my stomach, the warmth of your body caught beneath the light blanket I had spread over us. You smelled damp and warm, the scent of your cologne or whatever it was only faintly present in the mix, but still you smelled so good. The moist heat rising off your head against my neck soon lulled me off to sleep as well, letting me follow you into that mysterious dreamland. There were no nightmares then, but I wasn't surprised.

Even after waking up, we layed there like that for a while, drifting in and out of sleep, as the sun drifted lower and lower behind the horizon. It was dark, the windows offering no more light, but still we just layed there, enjoying the warmth of eachothers bodies, and feeling soft, sweet touches on cheek, and hand, and neck. The light was eventually turned on, and we eventually rose from the safety of my little bed, and went to eat, or whatever it was we did after that, but its moments like those that I'll never forget.

It's strange and funny in a way how love makes you appreciate such little things that you never took the time to before. It brings out the beauty in things you wouldnt notice before, like the way your wet hair hangs in your face, or how the cold changes the color of your skin, and the sight of snow adds a sparkle to your eyes. You're beautiful baby, I've always thought that, even though I never said it. Whoever said a boy can't be beautiful is a liar... I was always that shy girl, who never thought she stood a chance, so I never opened my mouth and told you what I felt, what I thought. But I'm saying it now baby, you're beautiful, wonderful, amazing...and I love you.

Love always,

The Girl Who Dances In The Storm