Heaven Can Wait

I looked around. The scene before me was horrendous. Splinters of glass littered the road beneath the tunnel, glinting in the sparse light. My car lay crushed to the side. The other driver, completely unharmed apart from a few small cuts, was being interviewed by a stout police man. I couldn’t quite make out what they were saying but I got the general idea.

A movement to my left caught my attention. I turned around, coming face to face with my older sister. Shock raced through me. The last time I had seen Shailee was two years ago. I had screamed at her, told her I never wanted to see her again. The shock was replaced by anger.

“What are you doing here?” I growled. She ignored me and continued to look right through me. I waved my hand in front of her face. She stood frozen, staring at something past me, tears sliding unhindered down her beautiful face.

Confused, I turned slowly, dreading what I was about to see, what would make Shailee cry. My hand flew to my mouth as I saw what had my sister transfixed. I stepped closer, walking in the direction of my crushed car. Police swarmed around it.

Horror clenched my stomach as I looked down at my ruined body. The police managed to wrench open the wrecked car door. I watched as they pried my twisted leg from beneath the wheel where it had been crushed. My black hair streamed in a tangled mess over my shoulders, glistening with what could only be blood.

I watched, unable to move, as my limp form was dragged from the vehicle and placed gently on a stretcher. I heard someone talking. A news reporter. I rushed towards her, leaping in front of the camera and began to talk, trying to explain that everything was alright.

There was a noise behind me as Shailee walked forward, speaking quietly to one of the nurses in the ambulance.

Abandoning my failing plan, I followed her to where she was standing, trying to hear the conversation.

“Is she…?” Shailee’s voice was chocked with tears. “you know… alive?”

The nurse refused to meet her gaze.

“Just tell her!” I yelled. No one moved.

“Please,” whispered Shailee.

Glancing at the ground, the nurse shook her head. “We think a shard of glass pierced her lung.”

My hand flew to my chest. There was no glass, no trace of a wound. “I’m alive!” I screamed. “Look! Not a single cut!” I knew it was pointless but I kept trying anyway. “I’m alright! It’s okay! Nobody panic! Avril will survive!” I crowed. As I expected, there was no reaction.

Shailee nodded and turned away, walking as if in a trance.

Sitting on a bar stool, I watched Shailee sitting slumped on the couch, biting her nails. She had turned the television on five times, gone through a box of tissues and eaten half a biscuit and was now eating her nails.

Sighing, I stood up. I had to find out exactly what had happened. The news, yes, it should be on in a few minutes. Not a great fan of all the negativity, I never watched it but now I had no choice, so, the news it was.

I reached for the remote control on my sister’s left. I glanced momentarily at a small framed photo. Shailee and I. My breath caught in my throat and I quickly returned my attention to the remote control. I growled in irritation as my hand passed through the cold plastic, sending shivers shooting through my body. Shailee glanced at the clock before picking up the control and flicking the TV on.

“Oh, sure, real easy for you,” I muttered to no one before turning my attention to the TV screen.

As I sat on the barstool once more, I tried to piece together everything I remembered. I recalled everything up to the point of the crash itself. I remembered entering the tunnel and then standing, watching the horrific scene play out before me, unnoticed by all.

I was dead, that much was obvious, no matter how difficult to accept. But wasn’t there meant to be a light? A tunnel? Anything. I got the feeling I wasn’t meant to sit on my sister’s barstool for the rest of my life… death. Dead, I was dead… the shock finally hit me and I felt my breath catch in my throat. Avril Raffielle was dead... I was dead.

I had to do something. I couldn’t spend eternity haunting Shailee’s kitchen and claiming her barstools. I stood up, uncertain of what to do. I tried to think about all the movies I had ever watched… wow that was a lot of movies… maybe try movies with ghosts. Okay, let’s settle for Ghost, nice, simple, with a very suggestive title.

I thought about it for a while before it hit me. “Thankyou Whoopee Goldberg,” I whispered jokingly before leaving the room. I had to find someone who could see me, anyone who could see me. But how could I get their attention?

Yes! That was it! Parade the streets naked! That would catch someone’s attention. But what if it did? I quickly dismissed the idea and walked out the door, still at a loss of what action to take. A plan… a plan.

The street was crowded, people swarming in every direction. I habitually dodged through the thrumming mass of bodies. Ice shot through my shoulder as someone’s elbow passed through me. Sighing, I plunged through the throng of people, feeling the unrelenting cold wash through me.

Glancing to the side, I saw a man looking in my direction, an amused look on his face. I turned to look behind me, trying to find out what was so interesting. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, I returned my attention back to him. A small smirk played irritatingly across his mouth.

He waved. To me? No, it wasn’t possible… was it? He continued to watch me, his wave turning into a beckon. Hope flared to life within me and I charged through the cold to reach him.

He was gone. Possibly my only link to the world of the living, one I was no longer part of.

Ice burst through my arm. I spun around. So he hadn’t abandoned me after all. But could he stop with the smile? It was going to be the end of me. This was a serious matter. Not that I could really complain, I wasn’t much better with my thoughts of hijacking Shailee’s barstools and taking over the kitchen.

Shaking my head, I returned my focus to him, recoiling the moment I saw his eyes, milky white orbs shadowed with shifting grey. The smile faltered at my sharp intake of breath.

“My eyes?” his voice was quiet, yet strangely powerful.

I nodded.

“You’re going to have to talk, I can’t see you.”

“Then… how-“ I stuttered.

He laughed quietly. “Never mind, let’s just say I’m not like others.”

I could definitely believe that. I got the feeling most people weren’t capable of seeing the dead and I was definitely dead… wasn’t I? I remembered seeing my limp form rolled into the confines of the ambulance. I would never breathe again. I shuddered.

“So… what’s with… your… eyes?” I asked hesitantly.

He shrugged. “I’m blind, not a huge deal.”

“Then why can you see me? If you’re blind?”

He shrugged again. “Beyond me.”

I gave up on trying to get a straight answer and returned to the matter at hand. “So… do you think you can help me?”

“What do you need help with?”

“Well, you see, I-“ I broke off. How do you tell a complete stranger that you are in fact dead and aren’t going anywhere? I was rescued from my predicament when he next spoke.

“I know you’re not… alive, but what do you need my help with?”

I sighed in relief. “Well, when someone dies, isn’t there meant to be a light? A tunnel maybe? Something like that?”

He nodded.

“Well, I’m dead but I’m still here. Why?”

“Well, I’ve never died so I can’t answer your question.”

“Oh,” I muttered, conscious of the fact the blood was rushing to my face. Of course he didn’t know!

“But,” he continued, “I do know someone who might.”

I felt hope bubble up inside me. I didn’t have to spend forever occupying barstools and haunting kitchens!

“This way.” He began to walk in the direction I had come from.

“How do you know where you’re going?” I asked, instantly wishing I hadn’t.

He smiled, “I don’t.”

I stopped dead in my tracks. “What do you mean you don’t know!” I asked, a little accusingly.

He laughed. “Of course I know where I’m going, I’ve lived here all my life, come on.”

Rolling my eyes, I followed him down a narrow side street. We emerged moments later in front of a small, rundown house. He knocked as I waited quietly.

The door creaked and I looked back to see a shrivelled man standing in the frame. A grin broke his wrinkled face as he caught sight of the blind man, quickly taking his hand and shaking it vigorously. “Good to see ye Josh!” he exclaimed happily and dragged him inside. I quickly followed, passing through the wooden door, feeling the grain move through me.

“So, Josh, what brings you to pay an old man a visit?” he asked cheerfully.

“Well,” I began but stopped when I realised he couldn’t hear me. I turned to Josh, quickly telling him about the crash so he could relate it to the man.

I watched the wrinkled face, void of any emotion as he heard the recount of the events. For a few moments after Josh had finished speaking, the man sat silently, thinking before uttering a single word.

“Atonements.”

Shailee. The last thing I had ever said to Shailee was that I never wanted to see her again.

“How is it possible?” I whispered.

The man listened as Josh repeated my question.

“It will come,” was all he said before disappearing into a back room.

“It will come,” I mocked. Two and a half weeks and it had not yet ‘come’. What was meant to come anyway? The light? The tunnel? I figured that it had something to do with Shailee though. It had to; it was the only logical explanation.

I jumped from the barstool in favour of standing in the small pool of light in front of the framed photo I had seen earlier. I reached forward. I felt cool wood touch my fingers as they made solid contact with it.

I wrenched my hand back. What was happening? My fingers stretched forward again, running my hand along the grain. I smiled.

There was a gasp behind me. I spun around to see Shailee standing before me, disbelief clear in her eyes. I stepped away from the small pool of light. Confusion swept over Shailee. I raised my hand to touch her face. Nothing. I was a ghost once more.

I backed away, stepping back into the light. Joy washed across Shailee’s face. I grinned as tears of joy streamed down my cheeks. Shailee walked slowly, disbelievingly, towards me. A metre away, she spread her arms, embracing me in an unrelenting hug.

I returned the show of emotion as her face glistened with tears.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.

“What for?” she choked.

“For saying I never wanted to see you again,” I paused to look up at her. “Can you ever forgive me?”

“There is nothing to forgive,” she replied in a quiet voice.

A warm, tingling sensation flooded my body. I broke away from Shailee, backing away. I smiled. I was going. There was no light, no tunnel, just warmth. I glanced one last time at Shailee’s smiling face, watched it fade and blur before my eyes.

“Until I see you again...”