Only One For Me

You all know me, the name’s Emily Squeril, or as my only friend calls me: Nuts-- after the beanie baby squirrel. My only friend, Michael Spunck, or as I call him: Spunky! Nick-named after the beanie baby cocker spaniel, because Michael was just that cute. I loved him from the very moment I knew what love was. I had all the love there was for him: the familial love because he always protected me like a big brother would, the friendly love because I would take a bullet for him, and the kind of love that sends my heart into an attack every time I look at him. I’ve known Spunky for as long as I can remember, and he stole my first kiss...not that I was complaining. He was the only person in the world that understood me, and the only person I wanted...but he didn’t want me. He was just the sexiest piece of meat there was in the supermarket of men, so all the girls went after him. Now, I’m not the prettiest girl that ever lived, but I wasn’t ugly either. I chose not to “pretty” myself up with make-up, and jewelry, because if I let the world see how kind a face I had then maybe someone would try and take me from my Spunky...and I didn’t want that. Girls came up to him whenever we went out to a movie or to the mall--as friends of course!--and I would just back off. I knew he liked the attention the girls gave him, and I wouldn’t dare get in the way of his happiness. I wouldn’t dare try and be one of those girls either, well...I tried once and he said, “I could never be more then your friend. I could never love you as more then a friend.”

SHAFTED! I know, but I was always good at giving him a happy smile. It was hard to hear those words come from his lips, but I just looked him in the eye, smiled and said, “Well then we’ll just have to be friends forever!” We were Freshmen in high school when he told me that, and that’s when my heart started to throb. I ignored that feeling though and went on with my life, yeah...my meaningless life. It was Junior year that I finally started wearing not-so baggy clothing, and let my hair out of my face. Guys started noticing me, but Spunky didn’t look at me any differently. A girl can try can’t she?! Sadly girls started to notice me too, and they thought I was a threat to them...somehow. They did mean things to me: Pushed me down, super glued my locker shut, one girl had the audacity to come to my home and put frogs in the pool. Somehow word must have gotten out that I like to swim when the throbbing in my heart got too great to bare at night. Imagine my horror to find frogs in the pool as I dove in! Though, I had a kind heart and strong enough will to not scream and wake the neighbors, my parents and everyone else in a 100 mile radius. People could be so cruel, but I let them. I could have broken every girl, that did something to me, in half if I wished. Spunky was always there to calm me down though, all he had to DO was be there. One look at him and my rage subsided in a snap, then he would lift me up from the floor and walk me away from the commotion. He was my neighbor, so even during the pool incident he was there to calm me down and help me get the poor frogs out. Chlorine and frogs don’t mix very well, a good thing the next day was a Saturday.

Another year passed and Spunky and I stayed the best of friends. What else was new? Spunky seemed distant though...distracted. It was a normal day as any, it was going to snow that day. Our school was strange, they thought that us “horny teens” wouldn’t want to have sex when it was cold, so they made the Prom before Christmas break. Idiots!! O Spunky and I had all the same classes and at the end of the day we would walk home together. I had to stop at my locker and our history teacher wanted to have a word with Spunky about Prom decorations. She wanted to consult me on the matter as well so I went to them after my locker. Before I got there a guy, David, came up to me. Spunky was about three doors away and I was next to a closed door.

“Say, it’s Emily...right,” he said stepping in front of me. I nodded, pushed some hair out of my face and looked him in the eye. “Well...I’ll just cut to the chaise, pretty eyes. I’m thinking you and me at the Prom...whad’a you say?” I looked at him for a second, thinking, ‘He’s not bad looking. He’s not as good looking as Spunky, that’s for damn sure! He’s not as charming as Spunky either...but...it’s not like Spunky’s gonna ask me...’

I opened my mouth to give him the answer he wanted but Spunky literally ran down the hall and grabbed me. My face was pressed against his chest and he turned to look at David, “You’re not taking her.” Just from his running heads had turned, and now my beet red face in his muscular chest wasn’t helping the scene.

“Oh, I’m not? Well, why not let her answer for herself? Hmm,” David said with a slight bit of agitation in his voice. “Everyone thought you didn’t like her like that Mike. Here you are though, protecting her like she’s your girl. If she’s your girl why not give her a kiss? Then I’ll leave her alone, but if you don’t have the balls to prove it, then I’m taking her to the Prom.” My heart began to throb, as if something wasn’t right with either of them. Then it hit me...the gale of cackling laughter that came from my enemies. It was them that put David up to this, their plan was SO simple.

My heart throbbed even more as Spunky pushed me away slightly and looked down at me. I knew he wasn’t genuine either...and that’s what hurt the most. I knew that look of hurt in his eyes, knowing that it hurt him to betray me...to kiss me and not mean it. He started to lean in and everyone in the hall gasped as his lips neared mine. Way before he could reach though I put my hands on his chest and stopped him. “...I can’t believe you...how...how could you...what did my parents promise you this time?! To put you up to such a thing that you know would just...how could you Michael,” I yelled at him, and lowered my head. I NEVER used his name, not even in school...unless is was something like this. The gale continued and David had a proud look on his face that I saw out of the corner of my tear blurred eye. “And YOU! Did you all really think I was stupid enough to not see through your dumb plan?! For David to take me to the Prom and make me feel like a queen and then for him to run off with one of you,” I gestured to the girls. “You truly are dumber then you look, I just...can’t...ugh,” I shouted as I brought my hand into the glass of the closed door next to me then ripped it out causing not just my hand to get hurt but for my whole arm from my elbow all the way to my fingers.

Everyone was shocked that I did this especially Spunky. I took the opportunity and ran out of school, I didn’t care that my blood was running wild. I did that in hopes to drown out the pain in my heart...to somehow make the horrible throbbing go away...it worked for a little while. I ran until I reached the park and I hid behind a few trees. I looked up at the sky as snow flakes began to fall, and said out loud to myself, “I really am stupid...heh...here I am letting my blood drain away into the earth over some guy...no...not just some guy...” The tears were like a water fall, “What life am I wasting? I’m not anything special, I can’t end world hunger or do anything spectacular...I’m just a girl in love with her best friend...and that friend doesn’t even love me...my parents don’t need me. They’re having a baby boy, at least he can carry on our name...So what good am I?” The snow came down faster and faster, I hadn’t moved from that spot so I began to get covered. The loss of blood the “warm” snow made me very drowsy. Little by little the snow covered me and it hadn’t even been that long, but slowly I drifted into a darkness that seemed infantine...until I heard him...

“Emily...” he cried. I could somehow hear him...he sounded like he was crying. Even then, in that little time I was in the snow I had gone cold. Whatever warmth that inhabited my body had left me, and I was rendered helpless and numb. Did I really want him to find me? “Emily...where are you,” he cried once more. I found strength and jolted myself to the side a little bit causing me to slide off the trunk of the tree and fall on my good, left arm. ‘If he doesn’t see me...then that’s it...’ I thought with a little glimmer of hope. I was still amazed that somehow I had regained consciousness. “Em-” he had begun to shout when he must have seen me. I could feel his footsteps coming closer until he brushed the snow off me and lifted me into his arms. He was crying...I had made him cry...That thought made the tears spring into my own eyes once more. Now to get off track for a moment. Spunky had a HUGE jacket. I loved to tease him about it, I always said, ‘That jacket is BIG!’ He always obliged that by grabbing me, zipping it up, and saying, ‘It’s big enough for the both of us, my dear!’ We would always laugh, but this time I couldn’t say anything and we couldn’t laugh, but he curled me into a ball and held me in his jacket. “Stay conscious...please...” I felt a warm tear hit my forehead as he said those words with that much hurt connected to them.

I magically found strength to both look up at him and say, “...I..am..so...sorry...” My lips were a dark shade of blue and my skin a sickly pale and my teeth chattered. He shushed me and quickly zipped his jacket best he could and ran as fast he could to the hospital. The look on his face was pure worry, but the look in his eyes was care. The looks of the staff must have been strange when such a slender faced young man ran in panting and looking like a blimp. My heart felt like it was being rung out, then hung up to dry. I hurt him...I made him cry...and all because I was wrong. He did care about me...he must have...I lost consciousness as they set me on a stretcher and zipped me into an operating room, but I just kept crying.

When I finally woke up I was feeling slightly warmer, but the pain in my heart was still larger then life. I had never been in a hospital before, he had always been there to stop me from hurting myself or someone else. Funny how instead of preventing it, he was the cause of it. No, I was the cause of all my pain, I could have just let him go...but I wanted him so badly... This horrible feeling made the tears start again, but when I attempted to left my good arm to wipe some away, I realized it was being held down. I looked to my left to see none other then my dear, dear Spunky. Seeing him, lying there with a look of utter worry made me cry even harder. I managed to get my hand out of his and roll onto my right side so my back was to him. I cried into the big soft pillow and then felt the bed sag behind me. I felt him wrap his arms around me very carefully.

“I’m so glad you’re awake,” he whispered into my ear. “I’m so sorry...I never meant for this to happen...Your parents never put me up to wanting to ask you to Prom...I asked them if I could take you and they were overjoyed...I was afraid to ask you because I didn’t know if you still felt that way about me.”

I choked back sobs long enough to say, “How could I ever stop loving you?! I told you how I felt and you told me--”

“You’re too good for me,” he interrupted giving me a squeeze burying his face in my back. I was a little shocked, and when I didn’t say anything he continued, “I told you that I could never love you like that because I felt that I wasn’t good enough to be yours. I’ve loved you for as long as we’ve known each other...I was your first kiss. I wanted to be the only one you ever kissed, the only one you ever needed...I...” He touched my left shoulder with is left hand and pulled it towards him so I turned. We looked into each other’s eyes before our lips slowly met, and warmth was all I could feel. However long our lips lingered, I don’t know, but when they parted I felt drowsy again. I turned back around and he held me again so lovingly, all I felt was his warmth. I began to doze off happily when he whispered, “Nuts...”

“Hmmm? What’s up,” I said drowsily.

He just smiled and said, “I want us to spend the rest of our lives together...how’s that sound? We never have to be apart...I never want you to scare me like that again...you promise?”

I smiled first to myself, then I turned and smiled to him. Drowsily and weakly I took the back of his head with my left hand then whispered to him before our lips met, “I promise.”

Sure enough we spent our days together happily, and died in each others arms at the exact same moment.