Nursing Home Lovers

"Ivan N. OlGeezer. Young, eighty-seven; handsome, not many wrinkles. Likes: short

walks to the bathroom, hot young chicks, and watching porn. If interested, call (732)-OLD-

GEEZ.."

Shirley 'M. Goodlookin read in the personal ads in the Sunday newspaper. Her husband

had died on the previous hour and she was feeling pretty lonely. Shirley called Ivan who

fretfully explained that he lied about his age. He was really ninety-three, and he apologized

to Shirley for lying. Suddenly she realized that she didn't mind his old age. After all, at least

he remembered that he put the ad out. She was a young, hip eighty-nine year old girl, and

she didn't mind older men, she still had years to party if this relationship didn't work.

They scheduled a date for the next day. Shirley's (still living) mom drove her to the door

of the Young And Hip Nursing Home. Shirley wore her sexiest outfit, a leopard print dress,

and Ivan, hot and handsome, was in a tuxedo. The date was alloted two hours, as the

nursing home feared Ivan wouldn't come back, or would forget how to. The date was dinner

at McDonald's. Shirley decided it was the best date she ever had. Ivan sure was a thrill.

They went back to the Young And Hip Nursing Home. Ivan invited Shirley inside, and the

old folks were having dress up time. As for Shirley, this was the most exciting thing she had

seen in her life, more exciting than the 3 man circus. Everyone thought that Shirley and Ivan

together were an amazing couple, so they allowed them to wear the sacred king and queen

costumes. Shirley looked darn good with her leopard print dress along with the queen outfit.

All the old single women in the nursing home wanted Ivan with his tux and king outfit. Both

Shirley and Ivan got a copy of the picture that was taken of them when they were cleaning

their dentures, and a better picture of them both with their teeth in. Shirley and Ivan got

married at the Nursing Home a week later.

A seven year old wakes up screaming.