(Little) Black Book (of Despair)

10/30/05

This is my little black book

Not of numbers but of pain

A book of despair

With the paths of hurt

That have been laid upon my heart

Scrawled out in thick lines of blood

And stained with countless tears.

Here comes another razorline

Dip the pen and hold my breath

Write it out on my skin

Red on white paper contrasting

Light and darkness both as one

Blood turned to tears

This is just another push

The edge is calling

The fall down would sing

Wind rushing past

As I scribble away I can hear it

A lullaby, a lure

A single chord of longing;

Hurt laid bare and peeled apart

The layers beneath held to light

I must examine my pain

Pick the scabs and tear the stitches

Every wound bleeds again,

When I finally hit the bottom.

Save me

Someone save me

Pick up this bleeding cold body

That is me just barely breathing

Staunch the blood and bandage the cuts

Hold me together ‘til I heal

And promise you won’t become

Just another entry in this book.