Just a Kiss

Remember the Homecoming football game back in tenth grade??

Remember how I was new and you were there and I was too damn hyper for my own good??

Remember how good it felt to be pressed together above the bleachers, under that sign with the big “J” on it, with me pretending it was colder than it really was, just so I’d have more of an excuse to join you in that oversized hoodie of yours??

Remember when it was time to go, when our team lost just like they always do and my ride was there to pick me up??

Remember how I didn’t want to leave and then I finally pried myself away??

You kissed me.

Or maybe I kissed you.

No, no…You kissed me.

I’d rather remember it that way…And I don’t know if that makes it hurt less or worse.

But it was just a kiss.

It led to flirting and smiles and hugs and laughing and joking and me always anticipating the busride home…

But nothing more.

A year later…It was homecoming game again.

But you didn’t make it past the gate because she was with you.

We stood with that big metal gate between us reminiscing and smoking cigarettes, neither one of us broaching the subject of what had happened a year before.

Then she came back up to you.

Finally, I decided I couldn’t watch it anymore and that I’d go back with my friends.

They were waiting.

I always keep them waiting when it comes to you.

Just as I turned back to say goodbye, she kissed you.

It was just a kiss.

That’s what I kept telling myself…

Just like the one you and I had shared a year ago.

The kind of just a kiss that leads to nothing.

Well…nothing tangible.

But now it’s a year later and she’s still on your arm.

I see you everyday and we still joke and we still laugh and we still flirt…

But…

Your lips still belong to her.

I can’t help but think back to the night where my name was tattooed on your lips.

Where we held each other against the exaggerated cold.

And we shared that just a kiss that left me hopelessly addicted to you.

And my heart breaks all over again because Homecoming is rapidly approaching…

I know I’ll be above the bleachers under the big “J” sign…

But I don’t know where you’ll be.