Every morning when I wake up I put on my face.
Staple it with some black eyeliner under my eyes and lip balm on my chewed lips.
Brush out my hair, and then pull it back.
Accentuate the angles of my still-soft face
The sudden sharpness of the cheekbones
The wideness of my eyes
How they seem large in my face. The eyeliner doesn't help, no designs are allowed for school
And those take attention
They glare out defiant, contrast between them and the circle brown mark on my nose
Contrast the rounded tip of my nose and the slight downward slant
Look larger; offset by my smaller full mouth- the pupils stare

I pull out the hair tie and shake my head and let my hair free
It falls and hides the big eyes in the stark face; good
I finger comb and it straightens a bit
And I see hints of copper in the light on the curls
Interesting; and it's something to stare at during class

Clothes now, hurrah I've made it this far
Long sleeves, lost my purple hoodie but found the overlarge school one
Pull on a tank top, black as usual. Ignore the bra, they itch
Go for the black sweater with the lace at the sleeves that rub
But they hide more than they hurt
Put on jeans and a skirt over it
Long, black, part of an old Halloween costume
It gets love anyways
The jeans are too big, whatever.

In class, I raise my hand
The sleeve slips down too far.
Shit.
As far as they know, I know a nasty cat
Or I tripped and fell
I am a bit of a clumsy girl

Fiddle with my hair; curl it around a finger
Do homework during lunch, don't eat
School gets out at 2, and I have leftovers at home
Read under the desk; doodle in someone else's notebook
Try to catch up on lost sleep

Keep my face on
Hold it in
I can take everything out on myself later
Careful neutrality
Just wait for later.