There was a doorway. A front doorway.

There is, in most houses. However, the house isn’t generally black, with windows and doors of all descriptions all over it, a chessboard-like black-and-white garden, and an assortment of front doorbells which have been neatly labelled in careful black handwriting on small pieces of grey card. There’s a small black one that has Taxe Collectorrs written on it, a larger bronze bell with People Doing The Holey Work Of (Insertt Deitey Name Hear) inscribed above it, and various others.

The hunter knocked. And the prey opened the door.

The prey was on one side of the doorway. The hunter on the other.

The prey had very dark brown eyes and very pale skin. Her hair reached to her waist. Straight, shiny, almost black, brushed off her face and more perfect than any human’s hair had a right to be. She wore black. Plain black trousers, black socks, black, carefully lace-up shoes, a black shirt buttoned right up to the collar, a black v-neck jumper. She also wore silver jewellery; quite a lot of it. Silver earrings, a silver necklace, three silver bracelets and a small silver ring on her right hand.

The careful observer might have noticed the slightly skewed centre parting, the concealing makeup on a small spot on the left of the prey’s forehead, the small red weals on the backs of her hands, and the fact that the buttons were done up wrong.

The prey opened her mouth, and said a name. The name was Kay.

It wouldn’t have needed such a careful observer to see the sharp canine teeth.

The hunter answered. “Bellatrix,” he said.

He was taller than the woman called Bellatrix, and had very messy blond hair. It looked as if he’d tried to brush it, but there were several rebel curls at the back sticking out, up, and sideways defiantly. His eyes were pale blue, and gave the approved vampire-hunter expression of righteous innocence. He carried several vials of holy water in a bandolier, a silver knife, a couple of cloves of garlic, and a crossbow containing entirely wooden bolts. He wasn’t as neatly dressed as Bellatrix, and there was a certain awkward look to him, as though some of the joints didn’t connect properly, or he expected to hit his head on every doorway. It was possible that he did hit his head on every doorway. After all, he was about six foot seven.

Oh yes. He had a large pair of wings.

“I wasn’t expecting you,” Bellatrix said. “It’s still Bella.”

“Bellatrix.”

“Have it your way, Kay.”

“I will, then.”

“Obviously, being an angel comes with inbuilt innocence.”

The hurt look Kay directed at her nearly made Bella melt. “Don’t look at me like that when you’re here to kill me,” she said.

“Kill you?” Kay exclaimed instantly. “No, Bellatrix, of course not! Why would I do that to you-“

“Because someone told you I was an oppressive tyrant.” Bella sighed. “It happens, you know. Part of being a vampire. Everyone thinks you’re going to stage a one-vampire takeover.”

“What, like the huge windows... and the black... and the teeth?”

“Yeah. Are you still going to not-kill me?”

“No.”

“So you’re going to kill me?”

“No.”

“That’s nice to know, even though most of it made no sense. Can you leave the weapons at the door, though? It’s considered polite. And I’m not going to hurt you.”

“Why do you have to warn me?” Kay asked, looking slightly suspicious.

Bella sighed patiently and patted his shoulder, carefully avoiding any of the various weapons Kay had. “Because I’m a vampire and you’re an angel, and frankly a few years in the same class at school is no reason to trust anyone.”

“You mean you don’t trust anyone.”

“Quite right too. Now look, do you want a drink or what? It’s a long walk up from the town, it’s quite hot... speaking of which, may we get out of the sun? I’m up very early.”

“It’s only six o’clock...” Kay looked a little puzzled.

“In the evening. The evening. Bend it around your head, you managed it at school.”

“Oh.” Kay realised something. “Sorry, Bella- Bellatrix. I’d have expected it if I’d guessed it was you they called Bellatrix the Terrible, but, um, you... act human. I think of you like that.”

Bella looked at him hopelessly. Kay didn’t pick up notions easily, but they were hard to dislodge once they were there, and he forgot very little. She remembered how he used to surprise her by coming out with something very witty, very apposite and very teenagery that she’d said two weeks before. He’d have been a wonderful journalist, if he’d been unscrupulous enough. Not the slightest need for a notebook. He’d remember every word his interviewees said.

She relented. “That’s sweet. And I am practically human, I just have a couple of unusual genes. Come in and have a cup of tea, then,” she said. “Or coffee, or whatever. Not even I know what some of the stuff my predecessor left in the cold-box is. I’m pretty new to this job.”

“Job?” Kay asked as he followed her over the threshold, obediently wiping his boots on the mat and leaving all offensive weapons by the door.

Bella nodded. “I answered an advertisement in the paper.”

“Didn’t see it.”

“You weren’t reading the advertisements section. You never do. Incidentally, have you got today’s Herald?”

“Sorry, no.” Kay prodded a book facedown on a desk.

“Never mind- don’t do that!” Bella grabbed his wrist. “Alfred bites!”

“You have a book called Alfred?”

“It used to be Archibald the Destroyer, so I imagine he’s grateful for the name change.”

“Oh.” Kay allowed himself to be led to the kitchen, where Bella pulled a set of heavy-duty blackout blinds down.

“I don’t know which previous resident built this place, but it was a damn fool idea to make the kitchen south-facing,” she remarked, and started making tea.

She was just pouring the hot water into two cups of tea when Kay said- “You do know the Duke has put a price on your head, don’t you?”

“Wha- ow! Gods almighty!” Bella hurried over to a sink and turned on the cold tap hastily. “Oh my gods, ow, ow, ow, my hand!”

Kay stood, apologizing profusely, and inspected the damage. There was a large stripe of scalded red skin across the back of Bella’s left hand. “Oh, Bellatrix.”

“Don’t look at me like that!” Bella snapped. “You distracted me!”

“Sorry, Bella... hey, what are those?”

He pointed to the marks on her other hand. Bella flushed, and tried to cover her right hand with the scalded one, but Kay kept her left hand under the running water. “Tell me, Bella.”

Maybe it was something in the eyes, but however it came about Bella opened her mouth reluctantly and said: “I’ve been having blood transfusions.”

“What?!” Kay cried. “Are you ill?”

“No, I’d just prefer not to do the whole... blood-sucking thing, but I have to get blood somehow. I contacted an agency that gets blood donations to vampires. So I don’t go around biting people.”

“Oh,” Kay said. He looked curiously blank.

“Aren’t you glad to know that your Bella hasn’t turned into a ghastly blooducker since she left school?” Bella needled.

“Well- yes, of course, it’s just that’s such a... well, a-“

“’Human thing to say’?” Bella completed a little bitterly. “Let’s not forget I spend the day downstairs in the cellar. You’re just lucky you haven’t met the butler yet.”

“Butler?” Kay let go of Bella’s hand; she took it out of the stream of cold water and dried it gingerly.

“Yeah,” Bella said gloomily. “He kind of came with the place. Couldn’t get rid of him. Tried dismissing him and changing the locks, but the dratted fairy folk let him back in. We don’t meet often, because he only does daylight, and I only do night as a rule.”

“Where is he?”

“Chained to a pipe in the attic,” Bella said absently, smoothing a balm over her burn. “Silver chains, so I had to wear gloves- I thought you left all your weapons outside!”

“I did,” Kay said calmly, although he was very pale. “This is a penknife, Bella.”

“With a wooden blade?” Bella cried, stepping backwards. She looked at Kay’s eyes. Blue and innocent, and utterly concentrated on the matter at hand.

“You just told me that you keep your butler chained to a pipe in the attic.”

“Yesterday, he confronted me with a stake and said he was going to kill me! And garlic all over the place! I mean all over the place! There was a garlic clove in my underwear drawer!”

“He tried... really?

“Really!”

“Oh. Er, sorry.” Kay slipped the penknife into his pocket sheepishly.

“Yes, quite.” Bella wrapped a layer of cloth around her scalded hand to protect it from getting banged and hurting even more.

“Er... I don’t know what to say.”

Bella tied off the end of the cloth carefully, and looked up at Kay again. He was bright red. He always went bright red when he was embarrassed, unlike herself; in fact, most of his emotions were generally written all over his face. Bella envied that; she was a vampire, and found it hard to show any kind of emotion. It made for a good liar, and Bella appreciated that, but it would be nice to be able to wear her heart on her sleeve if she wanted to.

Of course, if she had been born with a tendency to wear her heart on her sleeve she would have wished for a perfect straight face.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Kay asked ingenuously.

“Nothing. Wishful thinking,” Bella answered automatically, looking away hastilty, and then part of her wished that she could take that last sentence back. And part of her did not. “Do you know what I do here?” she found herself saying, in an attempt to change the subject.

“No,” Kay said, and he sounded interested. Guided tour time, thought Bella.

“I promise you it involves no blood or guts,” she told him. “Do you want me to show you?”

“Yes please,” Kay said, and Bella thought, And I bet that’s how you get into all your targets’ houses. You’re as sweet as sugar... too sweet, but they don’t guess. I’m not stupid, Kay...

“All right,” she agreed. And then, abruptly- “Before we start.”

“Yes?” Kay inquired, coming over to stand next to her, face radiating simplicity and kindness.

“I know...” Bella started, the words not flowing, stiff phrases presenting themselves slowly. “that you aren’t... as sweet as you look. Tell me. You killed Cassiopeia, didn’t you?”

“Cassiopeia? The werewolf who took a tax of six girls and six boys from the local villages every year?” Kay put his head on one side, and looked at Bella, eyes as nice as ever, but wary.

“That’s the girl.” Bella unhooked a large iron ring of keys from its place by a large, imposing, if plain, oak cupboard. “Did you have to nail her to her own wall with silver cross-bow bolts? Really? Besides the fact that it was extremely impolite, do you know how long she took to die?”

Kay thought for a moment, eyes resting on the back of Bella’s bent head as she carefully touched the keys one by one, sometimes hesitating before passing on and then finally choosing one. “I don’t.”

Bella turned, eyes snapping with anger -the undead take each others’ deaths very seriously- but Kay cut her off with a gentle finger on her lips. “I scarpered before she could get free and kill me.”

Bella shut her mouth, which had been half-opened to answer. “She never got free.”

“Will you think me inhuman if I say I’m not sorry?”

“Of course.” Bella smiled at Kay’s downcast expression. “I think you’re an angel. You are, you know.”

“Thank-you.”