I have cried too many times

Over him, so I am afraid that

Seeing him in person would just

Send me back to all of the hurt.

I can’t do that, I have already

Relived the past one too

Many times for me to still be

Sane, which is why I hate myself.

That is why my life is on a thread,

Ready to snap from the weight

Any moment and when I talk to him,

The pressure just increases.

He keeps saying he wishes he could

Undo the past and fix things with me

But I know that his wishes will

Never come true, so I tune him out.

But sometimes he gets through

When I begin to doubt myself again

And I rethink all of my choices, but

Realize that I can’t go back.

Doing that would hurt too many

People, including myself, and all of

My friends would question my

Sanity and I can’t deal with that now.

So I just keep plugging away

In the way that I have been

For a while, with hopes that the

End of the pain and drama will come soon.