Well, this was part of a creative writing workshop I had. The idea was to use at least 3 of the phrases shown on the board. The ones I chose to use were:

"Have you seen my stapler?" "I read the newspaper, so suck it." and "I can't hold on much longer."

I had no time to edit so please excuse any errors and the disorganization. Yes, I know it turned out pretty lame. It was fun nonetheless.

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Hi. My name is Jim, and I work at an office. My very own cubicle. Usually, my days are very routine. Nothing special. Coding, filing papers, scolding fellow employees about the coffee maker, and photocopying my very own toosh. BUT! Today is a day like no other. For the first time in my life, I will attempt to go on an online dating service.

I hear e-harmony's great. Alex from the processing department just found his mate. He told he she's great, especially when the sun goes down. I'll never figure out what he meant.

Rhonda passed by. I tried engaging in conversation. A tip on a book I just received: Hooking Up With The Ladies 101. "Ask for something.", it says. So I "holla" (a new word I picked up from the "homies"). "...Rhonda! Have you..." She lifts her eyebrow (I take it as a sign of interest!) "...seen my stapler?" She walks away. A pretty little thing, I tell myself.

Smiling, I go back into my cubicle and open the website. It asks for a biography, my interests, and other such information. This may take hours. I close the window as Bob makes his way into my cubicle. His ears are red. I am cautious.

He glares at me and yells, "I read the newspaper, so suck it." and leaves. Just yesterday, I put into print our company newspaper. I helped edit his article. Turns out, I had a mistype. "We wish Mr. Sullivan much fuck during his vacation." Who knew the L key was so close to the F key. Good bye Bob.

I continue with e-harmony. At this rate, I can't hold on much longer. Work is ending, and I need to find myself a woman. The house could use a little cleaning.