Polar Bears and Penguins by Yami

You are my dream and my nightmare
A selfish indulgence that has me craving more
Tormentor, you are always surprising
In both good and bad
Loving and hating each time
Sometimes I wish you didn’t exist
So the burden wasn’t shared
Each day I selfishly indulge
In this dangerous sense of euphoric torture
Are you merely a vision?
My smiles are stretched with sadness
My tears are salted with joy by the blue moon
How could there be such an angelic devil!
How could there be such a demonic saint!
This pleasurable pain
Is this my dreamy nightmare
A lucid dream
Or an uncontrollable reality
Am I to wake up to nothingness
Both hoping it will
And praying it won’t
Such purgatory
Should not exist
But I am painfully contented
It’s okay if this isn’t real
Just let me hallucinate a little longer
Let me gouge out my truthful eyes
And dream with empty sockets
Let me stare a little longer
Into this twisted mirror
I am both fearful and hopeful
That when my hand reaches out
It will only touch the glass
And you will not reach through
To hold my truth, our truth
And let the bees and butterflies soar freely
Into the clouded skies
Of my thoughts and dreams
The apartment might remain empty
My heart might remain torn
But if it means you won’t suffer
I’d rather live in pain
Than to see it matched
Selfishly I want those bees
And butterflies free
Can the jar’s lid really be removed
I can only hope it doesn’t
I can only dream it does
Thank you for the lovely mirror
But only one side is truly beautiful
And I can see him watching me now
Wanting to reach through the looking glass
And I can see my tainted hand
Desperately reaching back
All the way to Germany
From my lonely little heart
My skeletons want swimming partners
Despite being able to swim alone
Will the majestic polar bear
Join this lonely penguin
In the battle upstream
Will you swim with me Tim
Will you reach through the glass
And free those bees and butterflies
From their purgatory in a Jiffy jar
That smells of wet wipes
Sauerkraut
And cigarette smoke
To taste the Soju-flavored despair
Of being happy
The sheep can join the pillow on the floor
In this dissonant dance
Of victorious defeat
After living so long in another puzzle
It’s a relief and a worry to find a fellow mismatch