Finding Alaska

(Again)

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“Get the fuck away from her,” he shouted, his voice carrying even over the heavy bass of the DJ. He waded into the small group of boys, and pulled the ones who moved too slowly for his liking off of her. A few punches flew at him, along with curses. He returned the punches with gusto, glad they had given him even more of an excuse to get physical. “Fucking bastards,” he snarled. How dare they even think about touching her?

He grinned savagely when he felt his fist collide with first a jaw, then a shoulder, then an abdomen. He repeated the cycle. He was toying with them. They thought they were tough, but that was only against things that didn’t fight back. Even with their numbers significantly greater than his, only a few punches landed on him, and they felt more like taps than anything else. He doubted they would even leave marks.

The group quickly scattered, as Conan had known they would. They were all too damned sissy to stand up to him, even when they outnumbered him ten to one. These were boys, not men. He had graduated from their high school six years before they had, but his reputation had stuck around, especially once his brother had become an upperclassman. Conan was just sorry that Danny hadn’t grown up once he had gotten to college.

At least Danny had gone to school like their parents would have wanted. Conan hadn’t even managed to get that much right.

A part of him wished he gotten more punches in, and maybe a kick or two, but he was more worried about the girl lying motionless on the floor in front of him. She was his brother’s girlfriend, and he had no idea where Danny was.

“Probably drunk and getting laid, as usual,” he muttered derisively to himself as he dropped down next to where she was laying, folding his lanky legs underneath him. Her shirt was ripped open and her jeans were unzipped with her legs gruesomely parted. He fixed her clothing as best he could as he straightened her limbs before pressing his fingers to the side of her neck, searching for her pulse. Her bra was pale pink and lacy. He couldn’t help but notice it through the open edges of her shirt.

To his relief, it was strong and steady. “Ally, wake up. Talk to me, kiddo.” He brought his hand up to her face and rubbed his thumb over her cheekbones when he heard her moan. “C’mon, Al, open your eyes.”

There were a few people standing around watching, but by now, most had disappeared to find more entertaining things to do. When one boy came a little too close, a leer on his face, Conan flipped him off with a glare, and he too backed off.

“Conan?” Ally whispered, her eyes barely open and her voice hoarse. “Where am I?” He was surprised she recognized him right away. She was barely conscious, and she hadn’t seen him in almost two months, since she had been off for Spring Break. Finishing up her junior year, he knew she had been busy.

“On the floor at the party my brother dragged you to,” he said gently as he cupped her cheek.

He could tell she was having trouble focusing. Her eyes kept trying to flutter closed, and while open, didn’t stay on his for more than a few seconds at a time.

“What—“ she cut herself off as she started coughing. She grabbed her ribs and tried to calm herself down. He could tell the simple act of coughing pained her.

Spying a blanket thrown haphazardly over a nearby couch, he reached over for it, then wrapped it around her shoulders. Her shirt was hanging open and solicitously, he covered her with the blanket. He didn’t mind the view, but he didn’t want anyone else to see her.

“Let’s get you out of here first,” he told her as he slipped his arms underneath her. Willingly, she wrapped her arms around his neck, and pressed her face into him.

“I hurt,” she whimpered as he lifted her off the ground.

“I know, I know. Hush now, honey. Let me get you home.” Conan held her as carefully as he could, but it still killed him inside every time he felt her tense up in pain.

He ignored the knowing looks and the catcalls that came as he carried her towards the front door, shoving his way through and being careful not to jar Ally too much. He held her possessively, her face hidden in his chest, glaring at anyone who even looked like they would get in his way. This was one of those times when his reputation didn’t help him at all. People, especially those in this younger crowd, assumed that whoever he was with was his newest plaything. Generally, when he was carrying a girl wrapped in a blanket, it was for a purpose other than saving her. Towards Ally, his intentions were pure, even if his thoughts weren’t.

Conan liked his reputation. He liked the places it got him, the parties he got into, the way people backed away when he was angry. He had power.

There was no sign of Danny, or any of his brother’s close friends. Once outside in the sticky May night, Conan settled Ally in the front seat of his Carrera. He had to lift her arms from around his neck before he could buckle her in and shut the door.

By the time he got around to the driver’s side, she was asleep and with a light touch, he wiped away the one tear that was winding down her cheek. “I’m going to kill him this time,” he said out loud, pulling the blanket slightly tighter around her.

He took her back to his apartment, not knowing where else to go. She was dazed, but cooperated as he undressed her as if she was a child and helped her into an old pair of his sweats and a loose FDNY t-shirt.

It took all the control he had not to brush his fingers against her curves, and it would have taken a dead man not to admire the sight her breasts and long, slim legs made. That pink bra would be the death of him if it wasn’t covered by his shirt. His sweats were huge on her, even after he pulled the drawstring as tight as it could go.

He tucked her into his bed, and kissed her forehead, knowing that she had to sleep off the alcohol, and whatever drug those damn kids had slipped in her drink. She wasn’t the drinking type, he knew that, so he assumed that his brother had spiked her drink, or something. Either that, or something had upset her enough so that she had let go for the night.

When he was sure she was asleep, and her breathing was deep and easy, he gently reached out and felt her arms, legs and ribs, double checking to make sure nothing was broken. He figured if it wasn’t very painful, she wouldn’t wake up, and it she woke up, it meant something was broken.

She stayed asleep, thankfully, and Conan was glad to see that she wasn’t coughing any more either. He stepped back and sat in the easy chair that resided in the corner of the room, ready to keep watch over her for as long as need be. It wasn’t comfortable for a man of his size, but he was willing to make do for the night.

If his brother had any kind of sense at all, he would be the one beside her, taking care of her. She was the once in a lifetime type and didn’t deserve any of this bullshit that Danny put her through.

As it was, a large part of Conan wondered if he should take her to the hospital, and let them make sure there was nothing wrong with her. He was no doctor. Of course, they would also call the police, which might not be a bad thing, except that he didn’t want to put Ally through that. She had been through so much already, it wouldn’t be fair to put her through more even if those boys did deserve it.

“I’ll take care of you,” he whispered, mostly to himself. She couldn’t hear him, anyway. “Always. You don’t need him. No one should ever be allowed to hurt you.”

He must have dozed off, because he nearly fell out of the chair when he heard her scream. She was sitting upright in bed, the blankets clutched to her chest. Her soft blonde hair was tangled around her face and her face was pale, too pale.

Moving slowly, so that he wouldn’t startle her, he sat on the bed next to her and took her hands in his, rubbing gently. “Ally…Ally…it’s okay honey. Al, wake up. It’s just me….You’re safe…I promise.” When her sobs quieted, he pulled her into his arms, resting his chin on her head.

“Conan?” her voice was soft and muffled as she spoke into his neck.

“Yeah?”

“Why—what happened?”

“What do you remember?”

“Just…just…Danny gave me a drink and then went off somewhere. I—I…everything is fuzzy. Conan, I don’t remember. I just hurt, so much, my neck, and and my legs…”

He exhaled sharply. “I stopped by the party to meet one of my friends. No, that’s not completely true. One of my friends called me and said that Danny was heading upstairs, and he hadn’t seen you in about two hours. I went right over. I saw—you were—“ He didn’t know how to tell her. “I was worried about you and couldn’t find you outside or on the main floor, so I went into the basement. I heard screams when I got down there, and saw a group of boys standing around something. Someone. When one boy moved, I saw you lying on the floor, with more of the bastards. They were…on top of you…Ally, I stopped them as soon as I could. I don’t think…I don’t think they did… I don’t think they did anything but beat you up some.” If she didn’t remember having her shirt and jeans torn, he didn’t want to tell her and make the hurt even worse. She would figure it out soon enough.

There were tears streaming down her face. He couldn’t see them, but he could feel them soaking into his shirt. His back was beginning to ache from the position he was in, and ever so slowly, he lowered her until she was lying down and then he cradled her against him.

“Why am I here?” Ally asked him as she rested her head comfortably on his arm. Her face was inches from his, and the rest of her was covered by the blankets on his bed.

It would be easy, so easy, to kiss her right now.

“Danny sure as hell wasn’t going to take care of you, and I didn’t think you’d appreciate being dropped off at your parents’ place.” How could he tell her that he wanted to be the one to take care of her?

But he didn’t have that right. She was his brother’s.

“Does Danny know I’m here?”

“Honey, I know he’s my brother and all, but I don’t know what you see in him.” Not that he was any better. Not for a good girl like her.

Ally sighed heavily, but didn’t say anything. Conan draped his arm across her waist and pulled her body against his. “He doesn’t deserve you,” he whispered into her hair. But Conan wasn’t sure that he deserved her either. “Go back to sleep, Ally.”

He held her close for the rest of the night, and for most of the morning as well. Eventually, though, he couldn’t lie still any longer. There was light streaming in from the windows, and nature was calling.

He carefully slipped his arm out from underneath her and rolled out of bed. He tucked the covers more tightly around her, and kissed the top of her head lightly before turning to leave the room.

Conan was in the kitchen flipping pancakes when he heard her come down the stairs. He turned to see her standing in the doorway, his sweats hanging low on her hips, and one bare foot tracing a pattern on the ceramic floor.

“Morning, Al,” he greeted her casually. He liked seeing her in his clothes. He wouldn’t mind seeing her like that every day. It was strange, he’d seen other women in his clothes, but none of them affected him like this. “Sit, I’m almost done here.”

She gave him a tentative smile and slid into one of the high-backed chairs. She had one knee pulled up and her chin rested on it.

There was silence while he finished flipping the last of the pancakes. When he sat down beside her, she wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“You okay, Ally?”

She glanced over at him and he saw that she was crying. “Why would he do that to me? Doesn’t he care about me at all?”

“What are you talking about?” He thought he knew, but he wanted to be sure.

“I only had one thing to drink at the party. A cup of soda he gave me. We split a can. I know better than to drink the crap they have there. Everything gets spiked, that’s why I told him to make sure it was from a can. And he…he told me ‘drink up and have fun’ right before he walked away. I just didn’t think he meant anything by it.”

“I’m gonna fucking kill him,” Conan growled, his eyes turning from green to hazel, as they always did when he was angry. His jaw was clenched and the harshness of his voice was contrasted only by the gentleness of his hands on hers.

“Conan, no. I might be wrong.”

He glared at her before his face softened. It wasn’t her he was angry with. “Oh, honey, you don’t know him like I do. He just doesn’t care.”

“That’s not true. Conan, everyone knows you’re the bad brother, the dangerous one.”

He laughed out loud at that as he squeezed her hand with his. “That’s why I’m sitting here making you breakfast, right? Get real, Alaska. I play around because I haven’t found what I want yet. My brother doesn’t give a damn and he likes it that way. He cares just enough to hide it.” Okay, so maybe that wasn’t completely true. Yeah, he played around, but it was also because he liked the power it brought him.

“You drink more than he does. You curse. You didn’t go to school. And you smoke. And you’ve never had a long term relationship.” She would have counted off on her fingers, but he was holding them too tightly.

Everything she said was true, he couldn’t deny that. It sounded so cold the way she said it though.

“You call what you had with Danny a relationship? If it is a relationship, you might want to clue him in, hon. He’s been fucking around since week one. That’s what, five, six years of cheating on you?”

He hadn’t meant to sound so harsh. He just hated her having such a low opinion of him.

“What?” she exclaimed, pulling her hands away from him and standing up. “No…I would have known…he loves me. He loves me. He wouldn’t do that. You don’t know what you’re talking about. Stay out of my life, Conan!”

“Ally…” he sighed her name out. “Alaska, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I had to be the one you found out from. Everyone knows what he’s like. I always thought you knew.” In a way, he was relieved that she hadn’t just turned her head from it and let his brother do whatever he wanted. She was so innocent, he could see how she wouldn’t have known what the signs were.

“He loves me,” she insisted, trying to sound sure of herself.

“He drugged you and left you at the mercy of his so-called friends. You want to see what’s left of the shirt you were wearing? Better yet, honey, look in the mirror.”

She grimaced. “Conan, do I look that bad?”

“You’ve got a black eye, and a bruise here, here, and here,” he told her, lightly touching the center of each bruise with his index finger. “Your chest and legs are covered too. But the one that really gets to me and makes me want to kill them, is this ring around your neck, right here,” he said, placing his hands loosely around her neck. “But even with all that, I still think you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

She blushed, and brought her hand up to her face, gently touching the sore spots. She turned and fled from the kitchen without a word. After a few minutes, Conan followed her. He found her upstairs in his bathroom, naked, staring at herself in the mirror. He wasn’t sure if should go in or not, until he saw her weeping. Instantly, he strode inside and wrapped his arms around her, trying not to think about the fact that she was completely nude. His fingers lightly caressed the side of her abdomen, but he managed to keep them from wandering any farther. She didn’t seem to notice where his treacherous fingers were though. She was too intent on her own cuts and bruises.

He watched her face closely in the mirror. “Don’t go back to him Alaska. Please, don’t go back. I’m begging you,” he murmured, his voice low and rough with emotions that he didn’t dare voice. It took all he had to keep his eyes on hers, without letting them stray to the soft skin beneath his tanned arms.

“He’s all I have. I have nowhere to live, no money. I can’t go back to my parents like this.” Her eyes met his in the mirror, and she tried to smile through her tears, as if to say she knew it was hopeless.

“It’ll be fine, Ally. We’ll work it out, together. I’ll do anything, just don’t go back to him. I’m going to go back to Danny’s and find you some clothes. I’ll be back before you know it, okay? If you want to shower, towels are in the closet right there.” He turned her so that she was facing him, his hands resting gently on her waist. “Okay?” She nodded, and before he left, he softly kissed her forehead where it wasn’t bruised.

As soon as he was outside, Conan lit up a cigarette and inhaled deeply. That taken care of, he lowered himself into his car and pealed out of the driveway. The apartment that Danny and Ally shared was about ten minutes away, but Conan made it in less than five. He let himself in with the key that Danny had given him years ago, and went straight to the bedroom, pleased to find that his brother wasn’t home.

He was surprised at how masculine the bedroom looked. It was done in mute browns for the most part, and there no frills or ‘girly’ decorations anywhere. The rest of the apartment had Ally’s touch though. There were plants in every room, wide bookcases, pretty curtains and paintings, and many things that just screamed ‘Alaska.’

Conan quickly gathered up as many of her belongings as he could find, dumping them in the hallway until he could find a bag to carry them in. He swept the contents of her drawers into his arms and added them to the growing pile as well.

The contents of one drawer caught his eye and for a minute, he debated whether or not he should forget the undergarments. Feeling like a pervert, he rifled through the drawer for a few minutes and selected the ones he liked, plus a handful of others.

Stopping for her toiletries, he figured he had done enough damage, and headed over to the kitchen to find garbage bags.

He filled the bags and then shoved them in the trunk, wanting to get out of there before his brother got home.

On the way home, he stopped at the office and called into the answering service. He was relieved that he was able to delete most of the messages, and none of them were call backs about his current projects. He glanced at the pile of paperwork that was starting to take over his desk, and shook his head. “I need a secretary,” he groaned out loud. “I don’t have time for all this shit.”

He decided to ignore the papers, as he usually did and leave them until the last possible minute, and then he quickly left the office, pulling the door shut behind him. As he once again lowered himself into his car, his phone vibrated in his pocket. With a scowl, he flipped it open after glancing at the caller ID.

“Yeah?”

“Where the fuck is she?”

“Danson, I have no idea what the hell you’re going on about,” he replied coolly, glad he had made it out of there before his brother got home. He assumed this was the first time his brother had been home all day, if he was just calling now.

“Ally. Where is she?”

“Let me get this straight. You lost your girlfriend, so you’re calling your big brother to make it all better? Just like I did when we were kids, huh, Danny?”

“Fucking bastard, the whole party saw you leaving with her. From what I hear she was half naked. You fucking her already? Have to say, I’m impressed. Not bad, even for you. And now her shit is gone and you’re the only one with a key.”

“How do you know she didn’t take her own stuff?”

“She couldn’t have.”

“Oh yeah?” Conan asked, his eyes glittering. One thing was for sure, his brother better not say the wrong thing.

“She would never leave me on her own, besides, she was trashed.” He sounded so goddamned sure of himself that it hurt. That was definitely not the right thing to say.

“Yeah, you would know, wouldn’t you? Fuck off Danny, and leave her the hell alone.” He snapped the phone shut, missing the decisive click that his apartment phone made when he hung up on someone.

Conan let himself into his apartment and called out, “Ally, I’m back,” but didn’t hear an answer. “Al?” he called out again as he walked up the stairs. He stuck his head into the bedroom and found her lying on his bed, sleeping peacefully.

He sat down on the side of the bed, simply watching her sleep.

He couldn’t hold off any longer. Reaching out, he ran his hand up her side, letting his fingers lightly explore her curves. He traced a gentle path from the underside of her breast, down the dip of her waist and then over the swell of her hips. She stirred, but didn’t wake up. With a heavy sigh, he bent over to kiss her cheek, his lips perilously close to hers. “He could never love you like I do,” he whispered, pulling a sheet over her still form before standing up to leave.

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Author's Note:

Well, what can I say other than it's back and sooner than expected?! I'm really pleased with the way editing and revising is going, so I've decided I just can't wait any longer before posting this :)

The main purpose of the revision was to make the plot line more complete, and I made some character changes as well. Conan's a little "badder" and you'll be seeing more of Krystal, and many of the other characters as well. Story is about 15K longer as of right now, and I'm expecting to get another 10K onto it before its finally done. I have bunches of new scenes, and 'flashbacks' to give better ideas of the history of the different characters. Chapter breaks are slightly different too. I tried to go for longer chapters, as requested, but there are still quite a few my normal length, so I hope you're all happy with me :)

Thank you so much to everyone who answered my questions at the end of the original Finding Alaska, and I hope you all enjoy this one as much as you did the last one.. I tried to keep all your thoughts and wishes in mind as I was writing, and you guys were quite helpful!

There's also a new twist at the end, so stick around! I hope it makes the ending seem less rushed. You'll have to let me know what you think :)

That's it for now, please let me know what you think of the changes I've made so far!

Next chapter up in a few days, in the meantime, review and then if you get bored, check out Any Other Night :)

Love, Ashley