A Family Member's Death

'Momma'

Momma, it's been almost a year

Since you went and left us

I've almost cried out all my tears

But I still have some left to spare

I'm not sure what the reason is

That you went with such a fuss

I didn't get to give you your kiss

Before you left without a goodbye

I remember that night all too well

The night you stopped breathing

I was the one who was there to ring the warning bell

And to call Dad in to help you

That night was the worst in my life

When the doctor came in

He said you were dead after all your strife

But it still hurt so much...So much...

It took a week for your funeral to be held

In your home state of Tennessee

During those two days, I went and delved

As deep as I could to see why your were taken from me

The hardest thing in my life is what I had to do

I had to look on your face for the last time

And know I'd never see you again, I had been such a fool

I stood there with my family alone for just a few more minutes with you

When we had to leave, I took your hand

And gently kissed your forehead

I gave you your necklace...And Dad, your wedding band

That was the last I saw of your face in person

Remembering that day you were taken from me

And put into the cold, hard, unmerciful ground

I wondered, 'How could this be?

Why did you take her from me?'

I remember I couldn't cry

I was so in shock...You were gone for the rest of my life

I just wonder why did you have to die

At so young an age...You never saw me graduate in person

You will never see me graduate high school

I couldn't tell you about my first dance

I couldn't tell you about how my friends are so cool

Or about my first kiss

The little things are what get the tears

The little things I can never tell you or experience with you

Your dying was always one of my fears

Your dying hurt, but not as much as not hearing your voice or advice

Not having you to comfort me

Not having you to listen to me

Not having you to laugh with me

Not having you to experience my life with me

Not having you here...

That's the worst pain of all

Is having a loved one die

So when you hear an angel call

You can go ahead and cry

Just remember this one thing

And please don't ever forget

They may no longer in our sight be smiling

But they're always watching over us, you can bet

So when you feel alone and sad

Just remember they are there

And if you do not believe me

I have a little story to share

On the day of her interrment into the ground

I was supposed to play a song for her

The song she had it pounded in my head

This was the song she wanted me to play

Fur Elise was what she said she wanted played

Should she have to pass away

I never expected to have to play it so soon

Her death seemed as far away as the moon

I was so nervous I'd screw it up

But once I got up there, I began to feel confident

So I began to play her song...

I knew that this was meant

That was the first and only time

That I had played that song completely right

You can disagree, and say I was concentrating

But she was there with me, I know I'm right

So don't believe others can help with your pain

They can never understand with what you alone went through

That will only make you hurt worse and nothing is what you'll gain

Just remember, ask this question...'Who?'

'Who was the one who helped me all my life?

Who was the one who tucked me in at night?

Who was the one who had nary worry nor care?

Who was the one who dealt with the kids who dared?'

So remember this and remember well

No matter who comes into your life

There's only one person that can fill that hole

And they are no longer in their body light

But they're always there,

No matter where you go

How, you wonder?
Simple...You are them. They are you.

They live on inside you.

Fin

Owari

So this is my tribute to my mother, who passed away last March on the 26th...Rest in Peace, Momma.

February 27, 2007

KJ Ratzer