The Legend of Panzerfaust

By Doktor Beppo

Prologue: Last Stand of the Fatherland

The wounded Otto von Bismarck clutched his chest. His sight became blurred, and his stance unsteady.

The Kaiser is dead, and they’ve taken Berlin, but all is not lost, he thought.

Bismarck remembered the events of only a few hours prior. He had given the Kaiser’s son to one of the few remaining soldiers, and told them to give the child to a common family. When it was time, he would be informed of his grand lineage, and lead an uprising against the Judenreich and their hordes of genocidal Juzis. They had taken the Fatherland by surprise, and the Second Reich was fought to annihilation, despite their valiant efforts.

The Kaiser, however, had known this would happen. He and Bismarck ordered caches of weapons and supplies hidden around the country, so that one day, the Reich would rise again. General Rommel had his orders. He would lay down a network that would ensure the Juzis wouldn’t have a chance to wipe out Germany like they wiped out the Arabs, Greeks, and Italians.

But Bismarck knew he wouldn’t live to see it. Even if he saw a medic for his wounds, the Juzis would tear apart Berlin until they found him. He decided the best way would be to go down like a true German: Fighting. He pulled out his Luger, and loaded a new magazine. Even reloading and cocking it was a burden in this wounded state.

Just then, he heard a feral utterance in Hebrew. Raising his pistol, he fired at the source of the noise. A gasmasked Juzi fell dead, his TAR-21 rifle clattering to the ground. Just then, Bismarck had an idea. He would give more time for the others to evacuate if he attracted most of their attention somehow.

Inspiration stuck the Chancellor as he walked over the corpse of his enemy. Pulling a book off a shelf, it slid to the side. Bismarck entered the concealed door to the roof of the Reichstag, and grabbed an MG-42 lying amongst the carnage. He felt his belt for one possession he had not forgotten: His megaphone. He staggered over to the edge of the building, and looked down at the ruined city below.

Screams, explosions, and gunfire could be heard off in the distance. The Juzis were raping, looting, and murdering all the civilians they could find. Bismarck yelled through his megaphone at the streets below: “BRING IT ON, YOU DOGS OF JERUSALEM!”

With that, Bismarck knelt down behind the MG-42, and locked and loaded. Several Juzis were storming towards his position, and fast. He opened fire, strafing as many as he could with machinegun fire. They tired to aim with their TAR-21s and Uzis, but Bismarck was out of range. Their bodies fell with feral screams, and their bullets ricocheted around the Iron Chancellor.

For a second, the Juzis seemed to be retreating. With that, Bismarck stood up and yelled, “Get out of here, you filthy vermin!”

It was then he saw the Merkava tank approaching down a ruined street. The tank crushed through rubble, and the turret turned towards Bismarck. The German dove to take cover, but it was too late. The tank barrel erupted in a plume of smoke, and that was the last thing Bismarck saw before everything went black.