Author: theCoffeeEnzyme PM
I'm craving some real feedback for this one. I'm not sure how well it's written. Any kind of review would be appreciated. I really want to know if the poem can be understood.Rated: Fiction K - English - Angst/Romance - Words: 298 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 03-02-07 - Status: Complete - id: 2327706
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My tongue tastes acid, my eyes
Are dim salt lake pools ensconced in a
Greasy Sahara, my skin
Is ten thousand vapid millipedes,
And discomfort has never
Seemed more at peace with contentedness.
Stagnant sunshine sizzles my
Millipedes to alertness and my
Odious orbs open with
Liquidity to join my black
Bugs beneath the scrutinizing
Sunlight as my stomach lurches to
Accept the customary
Starvation. My body creaks dryly
Under cold water, my pate
Remains misshapen, my plate maintains
It's despondent uneaten
Stare, a look now easily ignored.
With readiness, I prepare
To regret accepting the day's dank
Will my scar be waiting for me outside?
And there you are.
My millipedes shudder from
You, my eyes move with fluid longing
To embrace you in despair,
I tilt from your kiss lest you tase my
Starvation: my acid tongue,
My violent desperation for peace.
Your gaze asks questions that move
The way of the plate and I urge our
Derparture with discomfort.
Two million feet move vapidly with
You, pulling from the planet
With regret, each thundering footstep
Yanking me from dead silent
Content. My stomach heaves, my bug skin
Millipedes spread apart as
Your presence overwhelms me like a
Violent sickening disease.
Discomfort takes its place angrily,
Binds content joyously,
Painting your visage inside of me.
Desperation makes itself
At home in my starving digestive
Tract, regret resides in salt
Lake eyes, vapid millipedes take the
Form of frantic biting flies
When you make your presence known.
There is no calm,
Only sick illness and disease
When your presence is known.
No fingers needed, the acid comes
Unheeded. My stomach turns
And I shy from your kiss to shelter
You from the in extremis
Illness you've buried into me.