I am a friend of convenience
to you,
someone to confide in
when there isn't
a better listening ear available.
Merely five feet away,
you crossed the space
when your fear or happiness
was too much to contain.
Now as another stands nearby,
you forget who I am.

My anger has dissipated
but I'm far from indifferent.
My sadness comes and goes
but the emotional let down
remains.

As I sit alone
I hate myself
for letting you bear witness
to my tears.
I could kick myself
for acknowledging you
as someone so sacred to me.

Just call me your
acquaintance of availability
who you say you care about
but take actions,
inaction,
that suggest otherwise.

I let go,
I release all the high hopes
you bring,
banishing any that creep back in
and become aloof.
You come to me,
expecting a confidant of dependability.