Rain on windows use’ta make me sad and Mama says it shouldn’t. It ain’t gonna hurt you Mama says but she don’ say it this time, just looks back at the hard rain an’ flashes of light that she thinks is like Papa bein’ mad. Wonder where he is now outside in the mud or some place I don’ know. I think Mama misses him ‘cause her eyes when she looks at me are full of water like a tiny grey ocean gots itself stuck inside them. We’re alone Mama says but I don’ never feel it.

I dunno what Papa would say ‘cause he never talked ‘bout nothing. Car stop this Denny that I’ma goin’ to the pub dear see you in two hours then come home the time the school bus come smelling like Mama’s sister Jenny from Okiehoma. Mama never like that I think she knew. What you done she use’ta cry and Papa threw Mama’s fav’rite plates shiny white breakin’ on the kitchen splinter floor. Now look what you done she say I done nothin’ Papa says you done this to yerself.

Not yet we’ve gotta wait Mama says before so he can’ hurt you Tovi. Late night Mama holds my hand tight sayin’ she never gonna lemme go God is with you Tovi but I wonder where is he. Mama whispers you’re my ev’rythin’ don’ you get frightened on me baby girl. I try I say but Mama think there ain’t such a thing as try to Papa whose black shape lies on the kitchen splinter floor ‘bove Mama and me.

Mama screams like she done see a mice her face redder like the ol’ devil Father Beckham say is a-comin’ for Papa soon but no devil there. Papa got somethin’ hind his back the ol’ devil probly dunno ‘bout and Mama screams loud when Papa sticks her, her tummy dropping ladybug tears the grey rain sometimes drip from the porch screen but it’s dark and bright and Mama cries ‘cause rain was ‘sposed be a blessin’. Sometime it ain’t I guess. Mama don’ stop cryin’ and Papa runnin’ like the dickens far way slammin’ the porch screen hind him and the little bitsa rainy drops fall faster than the ones Mama makes an’ I wanna fix her up real nice an’ see her white shiny teeths like the ol’ white plates when she smiles.

Mama don’ smile you don’ do nothin’ like that in a hopsital she says. I’ma gonna get better Tovi jus’ you see I’m glad you came today means the world ta me. Jus’ watch the rain we’re free. I think I will an’ I do an’ sometime now I don’ think of Mama rainin’ bloods outta her tummy but the porch screen drippin’ the cold wet rainy drops we use’ta get cold from. Mama’s smilin’ now her firs’ smile in billionsa years and I once think rain ain’t so bad.

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Stream of consciousness piece done for an English class on 20 April, 2006. Not my usual style, but meh, 'twas merely an experiment.