--

i don’t know what to think
i don’t know what to feel
i don’t know if you meant it
i don’t know what was real

but you made me feel worthless
you made me feel dumb
you made me want to scream
you made me want to run

only you could make me scared
only you could make me cry
i couldn’t take it anymore
and i almost wished you would die

because you were so controlling
and you treated me like shit
you were negative and difficult
and i just wanted you to quit

but you blamed it on me
you couldn’t see you were wrong
you didn’t want to admit it
but you had a problem all along

and maybe that was why
you said the things you said
but you were an alcoholic
and now that's why you’re dead

still i know you really loved me
i meant the world to you
i just never quite believed it
because of what you put me through

but now that you’re gone
i finally feel free
to think what i want to think
and be what i want to be

but then i feel horrible
i feel so bad
because what kind of daughter
wouldn’t miss her own dad?

i hate you for making life
so miserable for me
i hate that you made this happen
this isn’t how it should be

but i guess i still love you
i guess i still care
i just wish things were better
before, when you were there

r.i.p.

--