If only I could turn back the clock…

When I look up at the sky: I note how high, but not as high as the heights of ecstasy into which you sent me. When I look at the sea; I note how deep, but not as deep as my love for you. When I look at the moon which shines at night; I note how beautiful, but not as beautiful as you are. I look at the world, and wonder how such perfection exists. The perfection known as you.

Your eyes like the stars, the promise of a better future. Your night-shaded tresses feel like silk. Soft and silky… it used to be so fun to run my hand through them. Your smile is the birth of a new world, the first petal of a flower blooming, the rain’s first touch on the driest desert, a hope for all that is good. That is you, your laugh so beautiful in its twinkling melody. That is you, and you are happiness.

You promised me that whenever I cried, you would be there to wipe away all of my tears, you promised to comfort me forever. You promised that whenever I screamed, you would chase away all of my fears. You promised, that whenever I closed my eyes to dream, to sleep, you would always be there to hold my hand and watch over me. You promised that I would never be out of your sight, you would clear the mist for me, never let me be lost. And I knew, that I was safe. As long as you were around, I suppose it had been true. You. You were true to your told me you loved me, and I believed it true. Every word that dropped from your lips, I picked it up and treasured it like silver. For I knew, that you, too, lived for the careless words, that I uttered.

You broke through my frustration, turned my smile on when OI frowned, held me when I feared, you wiped away my tears. You energized me when I was tired, loved me when I felt hated by the world.

I soon realized it didn’t matter what the world thought, what mattered most was what we had, it was what you thought. You let me grow. It’s your love that matters most.

This is our unfortunate future, when you took care of me, I forgot to do the same for you. When you hid me from the rain, I forgot to hide you from it. When you chased away my fears, I forgot to chase away yours. While you cried, I wasn't there. When I slept, you couldn't sleep too. I didn't know, didn't realise what was going to happen.

Now I have to pick up the pieces. Nothing will ever be the same again. Nothing ever will. Innocent desires… an innocent desire, that’s what started this! An innocent desire to be protected.

Why did it lead to this? It was always you and me. Down every flight of stairs, up every mountain. You left me when I needed you most. I always did, and will always need you. I was so preoccupied with myself; I didn’t see how your health was deteoriating. How your eyes always seemed to be filled with an unspeakable sadness, the sadness and pain of losing a loved one. I knew you always worried about me. Humans all have emotions and I am no exception. I never wanted this to happen, I never knew!

I would give everything up to turn back the clock and take good care of you in turn. Not for you to protect me, but for me to protect you. I never noticed how vulnerable you became. I was too selfish, I’ll admit. I love you. I really do. I need you just too much to shhow you how much I cared.

Babe, please forgive me, because the clock’s never going to turn itself back. I will never be able to be by your side to show you just how much I love you…

I will never be able to see you again...