SHE LIVES!!! Yes, I am writing once again, go me. I guess when cutting, drinking, and smoking don’t help, you have to fall back on something. (Mind your own business brother, if you read this one. It’s not what you think.)

Just something that was running through my head today after reading insane amounts of Four Brothers fan fiction. The song is “Do You Like It” by Our Lady Peace. I had to edit part of it, but nothing really big. Obviously I don’t own the song, but (...insert disclaimer here...) so that I don’t have to worry about being sued by money grubbing bands.

Please review. I might continue this if people seem interested.

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Riyan stabbed out her fourth cigarette and glared out the limo window as they pulled up in the queue in front of the theatre. She was so not looking forward to this.

I crawled out from the pain of yesterday

I crawled to you and

She could hear her little sister’s voice in her head as the car moved slowly forward. “You have to get back out there. He’s going with someone else and everyone’s going to make a big deal of it if you don’t go.”

As her limo pulled up at the end of the red carpet, Riyan groaned before fixing her trademark smile, small and slightly mocking, firmly in place.

I said all the things that you said to say

Have I said enough?

The crowd roared and gasps rang out as she stepped onto the carpet. He was in front of her, his black hair shining in the fading sunlight. His eyes sparkled as cameras fired off shot after shot of him and the anorexic pop princess standing with him. He looked over his shoulder and Riyan felt a surge of satisfaction at the shock in his eyes.

Do you like it, yeah yeah

Do you like it, yeah yeah

As she walked closer, letting people fully appreciate the new eyebrow piercings and the two brand new tattoos, one on her arm of a dragon that writhed around her wrist and the other across her shoulder blade that we fully visible because of the skimpy shirt she wore that had nothing but thin black ribbons holding it together in the back. Riyan had always shocked people. From the first time she burst onto the film scene with a fresh and uncanny eye and talent, she’d made herself more of a force of nature than a person.

I know why you’re playin’ these dirty games

They’re killing me and

Only he could see the truth as she got closer. He was the only one who would guess that the elbow length glove she wore on her left arm wasn’t so much a fashion statement as a way to hide the cuts and scars that marred her pale skin. He was the only one who would look into her eyes and not see sparkling gold, but flat, soul-deep pain. She lifted her chin in a silent challenge, daring him to say something, to make some sort of mood. God how she longed to have him back . . .

I know how you love to watch me beg

Well here I am

He didn’t say anything, he didn’t even smile at her. This was so stupid, she thought desperately. She still loved him and even though she knew she’d done the right thing by giving him up, her heart ached for him.

Why did I do this? she thought, her eyes following him even as she smiled at reporters and fans. I shouldn’t have broken up with him. Maybe it didn’t really matter, maybe it would have been okay . . .

Do you like it, yeah yeah

And do you like it, yeah yeah

And do you like it, yeah yeah, yeah yeah

No, it wouldn’t have been okay. He wanted things Riyan couldn’t give him, things she wasn’t sure she would have given him even if he asked. No, it was better that he believed the lie, that she just didn’t feel the same way anymore. Guilt ripped through her as she thought again about what she’d given up.

I don’t wanna be a puppet for you

Don’t wanna bite the hand that’s been feeding

She pushed the thoughts away and concentrated on being the star for a bit. She signed autographs and shook hands, smiling and posing for photographers and reporters alike.

I don’t wanna be a sucker for you, yes you

This was the part she hated the most about being famous, having to fawn all over people and act so charming and perfect when she was falling apart inside. She longed for his arm to be around her again. His presence made it all seem easier, made the fallacy a little less sour. How she wished she could be weak again, if only for a few seconds.

I hate myself for begging

I hate myself for staying

I hate myself for listening to you

Part of her resented the fact that she still leaned on him even though she’d broken it off. It would have been so much easier to bear the scandal and hatred that had been directed towards her if she hadn’t gotten so damn used to him being around to help. I still love you, she thought urgently, looking over at him again. She was startled to see that he was watching her. She wrenched her gaze away, she couldn’t let him see the love that still hung there.

It’s too little too late

And I can’t escape

One of the fans in the crowd screamed her name and Riyan hurried toward the tall brunette with relief. “Can I get your autograph?” the girl begged.

So beggin’ you please

Riyan was holding onto the girl’s hand before she saw the gun. “He deserves better than you,” the girl hissed as she fired.

I changed all the things that you told me to change

I’m on my knees

Riyan fell to her knees, her hands clasping over the gaping hole in her stomach, just below her chest. Brilliant red blood was spilling hot and sticky onto the stark white of her shirt, blooming like a flower between her fingers.

Do you like it, yeah yeah

And do you like it, yeah yeah

And do you like it, yeah yeah, yeah yeah

The whole world was silent and the throbbing pain was already disappearing. Suddenly he was there, his hand pressing hard against her wound. Sound rushed back to her as she cried out in agony when his hand touched her torn flesh.

I just wanna get out

Stuck inside of this

People were screaming and crying, everyone in a panic. He was whispering to her, his voice crooning like he had all those times the nightmares had woken her up with gut wrenching screams.

She grabbed his sleeve weakly, she had to tell him, he had to know the truth . . .

Waiting for something else

Waiting to exist

“Babe,” she slurred, aware of the metallic taste of blood in her mouth. “Babe listen. It’s not that I didn’t love you-”

She coughed and he interrupted her, “It’s okay, it doesn’t matter,” he whispered. His green eyes were painful to look at, the pain barely able to be contained.

Can you offer me help

Help from what I missed, I missed

“You wanted to be married,” she struggled. “You wanted to have babies. I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t force myself too. But you wanted it so badly, so I had to give you the chance to find it.”

As she spat out the last word, blood flecked up onto his face and she tried to lift her hand to wipe it away.

Do you like it, yeah yeah

Do you like it, yeah yeah

Do you like it, yeah yeah, yeah yeah

“I’ll always love you,” he whispered. “I never stopped. And when you get better, we’ll forget this ever happened.”

She felt her body twitching, pain making her muscles spasm.

“We’ll make it like it was,” he said, his voice desperate, pleading. “Stay with me baby, we can fix it. Everything’s going to be fine. I swear everything’s going to be okay.”

She smiled inside, but her body didn’t have the strength to move her lips. As Riyan’s eyes fluttered feverously, she fixed them on his face. How she loved the face. Her fingers, her eyes, her lips, her very mind had caressed that face, every flaw and contour. She would miss the sight of that face in the moonlight and the smile that he always had when he woke up.

“Goodbye beloved,” she whispered in his ear as he clung to her.

“Stay with me!” he screamed, but Riyan was gone. She was swirling away, losing herself in a comforting darkness that rose up at last to meet her.

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Yeah, so I might continue this if the reviews direct it. Reviews will decide: does she live or die. And if you don’t want it to continue, tell me that too so that I don’t spend ages writing a chapter that no one’s interested in.

Anyway, please review. I know it’s a bit rough, but it was just a stream of consciousness sort of thing.