i paint myself all sorts
of colours today is
monday and today
cristina will be yellow
sickly urine yellow
to mirror the sick
little soul she is.
walking down the
streets of paris
she goes all alone
stormclouds above
no such thing as
love says she but
the damned white
stick in her bag
proves it.

today is tuesday
therefore cristina is
bright red like the
face of a screaming
toddler in the toy
aisle of a store.
in her apartment
she dances to
britney spears like
she did as a child
anything to relive
those days! well
ten years have
killed them ten
years have killed
poor little cristina
alden the girl who
lived. she is red
today as if a sumo
wrestler sat on her
for an hour as if
she were lucifer
screaming for
mephistopheles
or maybe she is
on fire but her
heart feels so cold
at midnight that
it might shatter
if she merely
touches her
chest.

today is wednesday
and cristina decides
to be green sicker
than urine and it’s
reminiscent of that
nasty coloured
ketchup a stupid
person once said
‘hey good idea
diarrhea green
tomato products
hey cool let’s sell
it’ to. unnatural
isn’t it she might
think so but these
days nothing is
very unnatural
she lived through
monday did she not?
well now the hard
part is the idea
that she has to
forget maybe
someday she’ll
wake up from this
nightmare and say
‘what a bonny old
dream i wish i
had more’ but for
now only feelings
akin to cold harsh
regret radiate into
the blistery winter
air two rights make
a wrong and ice
if it’s too cold
burns.

today is thursday and
cristina would find
it wise to be ivory
not ivory the colour
of an elephant’s tusk
but the colour of a
cloud at dusk and
not purely ivory
but stained with
tints of pink and
orange and with
all the blue around
the pink ivory orange
is so dimmed and
an unwelcome
disappointment
but at least it
looks pretty. so
today cristina is
ivory what would
he say if he knew
maybe oh god
maybe he will
be the blue the
blue of the sky
a disappointment
she will somehow
learn not to care
any longer. she is
the ivory and he
is the blue and
therefore she
wins illogical she
knows but what
the hell she needs
encouragement
anyway.

today is friday and
she takes a brush
from the tray below
his easel and paints
herself the brightest
shade of blue she
can find dark blue
like the midnight
sky he told her was
dotted with stars
so far away that
you could reach
forever and never
get to touch one but
she will not die until
she gets to grab a
star from the heavens
and smother it in
her hands. add the
silver stardust to
the blue on her
stomach and arms
and you’ve got a
heaven a heaven on
earth that decided
it liked hades better.

add some red for
the flames and the
blood he lost in
the wars of his time
and then it’s like a
futile crusade pizza
splattered all over
the earth. yellow
for the sun but
no cristina won’t
add yellow it is
urine it is illness
it is the thing to
which she resorts
that illness that
stinking creeping
illness of soul and
spirit and body and
mind so no yellow
she decides. but
there will be green
for ketchup to go
with the pizza
and no but green
is life isn’t it time
to embrace it?

yes maybe yes
yes i suppose it
is so i suppose i’ll
douse the world in
life and love though
i hate myself i hate
the yellow but we
are all sick little
fucks i guess that
was why i painted
myself the ugly
colours of the
rainbow in the
first place.

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4 March, 2007, 1:17 AM. I'm a bit of an insomniac. XD