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For Kackie, the one who made it all possible. I don’t know where I would be without you, my dear! This story certainly would not have evolved like this without your fantastic character workshop and endless flow of creative input. You’re always there to help me through, and give me the confidence to keep going. You are a fabulous writer and an inspiration to us all.
For Mr. Fast, the one who made me believe I was a good writer. I don’t think you’ll ever know how much you really did for me by giving me that 83 on the first essay I handed in to you. You really made me work at my writing and then when I got a 90, I knew I deserved it, and what I had written was something to be proud of.
For Keith and Nicole, who never cease to spark my creativity and ignite inspiration. You are two of the most talented people I have ever seen, and I am constantly amazed by your work. I wish you both the best, and I’m absolutely thrilled that you’ve found such happiness and love together.
For Josie, my best friend and online twin, who is always there for me, no matter what. You’re always there to encourage me and give me a boost when I need it. I love you to death, and I don’t know what I would do without you.
And lastly, for my parents, who raised me to believe I could do anything I set my mind to. You’ve always done your best to support me in what I did, and I hope you know how much I appreciate that, even if I don’t always show it like I should.
-- ONE --
The ancient engine of their grungy old car, Rusty as she preferred to call it, created a dull roar, and this combined with the gentle bumps of the road made her sleepy. Lying down, she slowly closed her eyes, and tried to capture her last glance of the Kentucky pastures in her mind. She tried to imagine what their new house might be like. She hoped it was bigger than their last one. A backyard was something she had always dreamed of having; she and Mr. Ted could run and do somersaults in the grass all day, and maybe there would be a tree for her to climb. As much as she hoped that things would be different this time, Abby knew that a backyard was highly unlikely, if not completely out of the question. If anything, this house would probably be even smaller than the last, and she would be lucky if the electricity worked in her room. Maybe her new neighbor would have a cat or dog for her to play with… or better yet, maybe they would have another child her age. Abby had rarely had any human friends. They moved around so often that her parents quickly decided that enrolling her in daycare or school was a hassle they could do without. She didn’t mind though, it made things easier when she had to leave if she didn’t have any friends to miss.
When she thought about it, Abby was actually surprised they had stayed in Kentucky for so long. She knew the signs of an impending move, but this time they had stayed for a whole two weeks longer than usual. Normally they were gone within a few days of the first time the police came. As soon as she saw the blue uniforms coming up to the door, she would go pack her things into her battered little duffle bag. This time was different though: her dad has disappeared right before the officers made their first visit. Her mom didn’t want to leave without telling him where they were going, so they had waited for him to come back. She didn’t know where he had gone, but she knew that he returned last night to find out the police had been there several times already, and he flew into a rage. Abby had run to her room and hid there all night, like she always did when her dad was in one of his moods. When she woke up this morning, she found her mother and father loading all of their things into Rusty’s trunk, and so she grabbed her bag and Mr. Ted, and settled herself in the backseat which she currently occupied.
Abby liked to watch the people in the passing cars and imagine what they might be like. Where were they going? Were they like her, were they leaving home? Or on the contrary, maybe they were coming home to someone. At the moment, she was focused on a man in a shiny black SUV behind them. He was wearing a navy blue suit with a shirt and tie, and he kept talking on his cell phone. The phone almost never rang in Abby’s house, and when it did, it usually wasn’t good news. This man must be very important if he needed a cell phone, and people called him on it that often. Maybe he was in charge of a big store that sold lots of important things, and people were always calling to ask if he had what they were looking for. Better yet, maybe he was the man in charge of the entire country. Her mommy and daddy were always complaining about him though, and she thought this man looked perfectly nice, so maybe it wasn’t him after all.
Sleep eventually washed over her, and she fell into the pleasant abyss of the dream world. She dreamt that she was one of the lucky little girls who got to live on one of the huge, beautiful farms back in Kentucky. Their barns and paddocks were full of gorgeous horses, and there was one little pony just for her that she would ride all over. She even had a Jack Russell terrier that followed her around all day and slept next to her under the pink frilly canopy of her bed. But most importantly, everyone was happy. Her dad was always bringing her home little trinkets from his business trips, and she would run out to greet him with a hug when he arrived. Her mom smiled all the time, and the three of them loved to laugh while they ate popcorn and watched movies together on the couch.
Rusty lurched over a rather large pothole, and Abby was jostled awake. She blinked her eyes furiously in protest of the bright sunlight that filled the car. Rubbing them with her tiny fists, she sat up and turned to face the back window again. Kentucky was long gone, and Abby thought she had landed in some kind of tropical paradise. Giant, spike leaved palm trees lined the road, and the bluegrass had miraculously turned into sand. The thing that excited Abby most was not the strange looking trees, the spectacular sun, or the brand new terrain; it was the brilliant cerulean blue of the immense ocean to her right, which appeared to go on forever. White tipped waves rolled in and crashed on the shore, staining the sand a darker hue, and pelicans swooped down to catch dinner in their beaks. A sign whipped by, and had Abby been able to read, she would have seen that they had just entered their new home town of Daytona Beach, Florida.
Abby pushed her messy blonde hair behind her ears and wiped her forehead with her hand. She hadn’t realized how hot it had gotten, but she knew she couldn’t ask her dad to roll down the window, and her mom was sleeping. She liked it better when her mom drove and she got to sit in the front seat. Her mom let her play the radio and put her hands out in the wind. Her mom also liked to stop for ice cream when they were half way there if Abby was behaving herself. Her dad was never with them when her mom drove. They usually left in the middle of the night, while he was still asleep, but it was never long before he caught up to them and moved in. He was always nicer when that happened… for a little while anyway.
The familiar ache of hunger gripped at her stomach, and she wondered if they had stopped for lunch while she had been sleeping. She hadn’t even eaten breakfast before they left the house, so she really hoped they would get to their new house soon. At this point, she would do anything for a snack or a drink. The ocean waves, which before had been so beautiful, now seemed to be a form of cruel torture on her parched mind. Hugging Mr. Ted tightly, she lay back down, burying her face in his soft fur, and tried fruitlessly to forget about the pain in her belly.
She must have gone back to sleep, because the next time Abby opened her eyes, the sun had set, and the car was empty and still. Pulling herself into an upright position, she saw that they were parked in front of the most pathetic excuse for a house that she had ever seen. Their house in Kentucky was a mansion compared to this one. The door looked as if it might fall off if you shut it too hard, there was a crack across the only window facing the road, and the roof sagged in many places. Things must be worse than she had originally thought.
Opening the door, Abby expected to feel some kind of relief from the stifling humidity in the car, and was unpleasantly surprised to find absolutely no difference. Walking up to the front door, she gingerly pulled it open just wide enough to slip inside, and closed it softly behind her. To her dismay, Abby found that the house also offered no remedy for the unbearable heat. There was one little ceiling fan, whirling wildly in the living room, but aside from that, there was no absolutely nothing to reduce the sweltering temperature. Wandering into the tiny kitchen, she saw some forks and plates in the sink, and realized her parents hadn’t woken her to eat. She retrieved a chocolate pudding cup from the fridge, her favorite snack, and wolfed it down before going to her room.
There we only three rooms with doors in the entire house. The bathroom was at the end of the hall, if you could call it a hall, followed by her parents’ room, and then closest to the living room, was a tiny little room she assumed to be hers. Her duffel bag sat on the tiny bed in the corner next to a pile of sheets, a blanket, and a pillow. She flicked the light switch on the wall, and sadly wasn’t surprised to find that it served no purpose. Setting Mr. Ted down at the head of the bed, Abby took her pajamas and tooth brush out of the duffel before stashing it under the bed. She tiptoed to the bathroom to brush her teeth, but found that her parents had used the last of the toothpaste, so she brushed with water and went back to her room. She tried to sort out the pile of material, but she couldn’t figure out what to do with the sheets. She couldn’t get them to go flat or stay in place like her mom did. Finally giving up, she shoved those under the bed with her bag and climbed onto the bare mattress. With her little pillow under her head, her blanket half on and half off, and Mr. Ted in her arms, Abby eventually managed to ignore the heat, and drift into a restless sleep.
Abby awoke to her mother’s gentle touch on her arm and whisper in her ear. The dazzling Florida sun was already ablaze, and she could already feel the sweat forming on her skin. She really hoped it wasn’t this hot all the time. The air was so thick and humid that breathing felt rather challenging and unproductive. She tried to get down some of her cereal, just in case she didn’t get lunch again today, but she found that the intense heat all but extinguished her appetite. After half a bowl, she gave up and wandered back to her room to get changed. She pulled out her two remaining clean outfits and clumsily wished fervently that she had some more weather appropriate clothing than her worn out overalls or jeans. Today she opted for overalls and a T-shirt, clumsily struggling into them and stuffing her feet into her sneakers.
Taking her mother’s hand, Abby followed her outside and, upon noticing her dad had taken the car, quickly realized she had one long day of walking ahead of her. It had become a kind of tradition that on the first full day in the new city, Abby and her mother would go downtown and hand out resumes at popular tourist spots. They always chose quite large, busy cities to live in so there were lots of jobs available and her mother could find something rather quickly. Time was a luxury they never had, since they needed every penny her mother earned for food, rent, and vast amounts of debt.
Before long, Abby's feet grew sore, and she was hot, tired, and thirsty. She was relieved when they arrived at little café on the beach and her mom got her a nice, cold glass of apple juice. Ushering her over to a little table facing the water, Abby’s mother left to track down the manager, leaving Abby to sip her juice and observe the scene before her with wide, curious eyes. Brightly colored sun umbrellas littered the beach, and children repeatedly ran past in their swimsuits. Abby had never been swimming before, or even owned a bathing suit for that matter. What fascinated her most, however, was one little girl who seemed to be building something out of sand. The girl would just put ordinary sand in her bucket, run down to the water, come back, turn over the bucket, and miraculously the sand came out in a tower. Abby had never seen sand do anything like that in the sandbox at her last daycare in Montana. There was clearly something magical about this sand.
All too soon, Abby’s mother returned and reminded her that they still had a lot of places left to visit, followed by a very long walk home, so Abby was forced to abandon the remainder of her juice and follow her mother back out onto the crowded sidewalk. Trudging along beside her mom, Abby was able to amuse herself by looking at all the interesting objects in the store windows. She really wanted a pair of those funny sandals with the one strap that goes between your toes, but she knew there was no point in asking. She also noticed that a lot of people were wearing hats, so she made a game of trying to pick her very favorite one in each display. The swimsuits were the best fantasy clothing though. There were so many different styles and colors; she could probably wear a different one every single day of her life.
The novelty of her game, however, inevitably wore off and Abby was left miserable, sore, tired, and overheated. She felt ill, and she could feel the blisters forming on her heels and ankles. Thankfully, her mother had finished handing out her resumes, but the thought of walking all the way home drained what little energy Abby had left, and with a little whimper, she plopped down onto the sand next to the sidewalk and tried to hold back her tears.
“Oh, honey,” her mom sympathized, sitting down next to her and putting her arm around the tiny girl, “are you okay baby?”
Abby nodded glumly and wiped at her eyes, never lifting her gaze from the gritty sidewalk in front of them.
“Do you want me to carry for a little bit?”
Abby nodded again and wrapped her arms around her mother as she lifted her up.
Closing her eyes, Abby allowed her imagination to wander into a daydream of swimming in the cool water of the ocean, surrounded by happy fish and leaping dolphins. Just as soon as the fish had left her at the door of the mermaid queen’s underwater castle, she felt her mother’s movement cease, and her beautiful escape abruptly vaporized. She whimpered again as her mother lowered her to the ground, and she pleaded with her eyes to return to her perch.
“It’s not far now, Abby” her mother said. “You want to look like a big brave girl when daddy sees you coming, don’t you?”
With a sigh, Abby accepted her defeat, knowing her mother was right, and nodded silently.
As it turned out, the attempt to put on a brave face was completely pointless. Abby wasn’t sure if she was more disappointed or relieved when she and her mother arrived home to find her father snoring on the couch. Part of her had hoped that he might be proud to think that she had walked the whole way herself, but the other part wasted no time in reminding her that it was an utterly foolish thought. The air in the house was stagnant and stale, laced with the familiar smell Abby was unable to name, knowing only that it rose from the bottles on the coffee table.
Abby loved her dad, but she had to admit that the nights he went to bed early were generally more fun for her. Taking a bottle in each hand, Abby started on the evening chores of cleaning up the house. She loved to help her mom clean, but only when her dad was sleeping or had gone out. She didn’t like the things he said when he watched her work. Though she didn’t know what all the words meant, she gathered from the well-known tone and expression, along with the repeated use of the words ‘useless’ and ‘pathetic’, that they weren’t good. Her mother said that she mustn’t listen to him and that she was a good little worker, but Abby wasn’t sure who to believe.
Together, Abby and her mom would always take care of the living room first, and then the kitchen, adding dishes to the sink as they found them. Then Abby and her mother would play washing machine. Her mother would fill the sink with warm water, and Abby would add the special soap and mix it all up to make the bubbles. Then she would sit on the counter and dry each dish with her pink towel after her mother had scrubbed it. Once they had finished, they would eat a chocolate pudding cup together and then her mother would tuck her into bed. That was, of course, assuming that they weren’t interrupted by her father, which rarely ended well.
Unfortunately for Abby and her mother, tonight was one of those nights. Abby nearly dropped the plate in her hands when she heard the thump and accompanying curse of her father bumping into the coffee table as he got up. Her heart began to race and she looked at her mother fearfully.
“Go to bed Abby, that’s enough for tonight” her mother said quietly, planting a quick kiss on the young girl’s forehead.
Abby dashed into the bathroom and waited there until she knew her father had gone into the kitchen. Without a sound, she darted swiftly to her room and shut the door. She flung herself on the bed, clinging Mr. Ted close to her chest and pulling the covers up to her chin despite the heat. Now all she could do was wait.
Silence… silence... more silence… and then suddenly the noise exploded like lightning had struck. A plate shattered and voices erupted into angry shouts. Abby gripped her bear as tightly as she could and began to count the flowers on her wallpaper, as was her usual form of distraction. Never once had she slept in a room that didn’t have stripes, tiles, flowers, some kind of pattern, and so Abby had begun to count. She only knew the numbers up to ten, but she never let it stop her. She knew if she counted long enough, the silence would return, her parents would go to bed, and she would be safe for another night.
