-- THIRTEEN --

Johnathan and Devon sat in silence in their booth at the café the next afternoon. The pair had not spoken a single word to each other since they left the festival the day before. The worn leather notebook lay open between them, a black fountain pen next to it, but Johnathan hadn’t used it once through the entire meal; rather, he had stared gloomily at the inclemency outside, watching the rain drops collide with the smooth glass. He was mad, he felt guilty, and above everything, he was disappointed with his behaviour. Over and over, the previous evening’s events played like a film in his mind. Every time he came up another new alternative to his actions, but every time he watched himself walk away from her.

“You know,” Devon began quietly, “looking out that window isn’t going to get your book written… or help Naomi.”

His blue eyes flashed with anger. “You weren’t too concerned with helping her yesterday!”

“And how were you going to help her John? More violence? Hide her away until he left? Anything you did would only have made it worse for her in the long run.”

“How do you know?”

“Because she’s always going to go back Johnathan! Can’t you see that? She’s not being held against her will; it’s her choice to stay. And no matter how badly you want her to get out, you can’t change how she feels. As long as she believes her home is with him, she’ll never be with you.”

For a moment he felt an animalistic rush of hatred and rage. He could have knocked Devon senseless. But then the walls of denial collapsed, and the truth left him weak. His friend was right. She wasn’t his and his fairytale dreams of running off with her were nothing but that: foolish dreams.

“You have two choices now”, Devon continued. “You can take whatever relationship you have with her, accept it, let it run its course, and be there for her in whatever capacity she’ll allow. Or, you can leave her be, move on, finish this book, then pack up your bags and never look back. It’ll be another best seller, and you’ll go off to a new town with a new idea and she’ll be gone forever. Now, I know which one of those options I would pick, but it isn’t up to me. Which do you chose, Johnathan?”

Johnathan sighed. Like there was much choice given those situations. “The first one; I couldn’t go with the second one even if I wanted to. I’ll never finish this damn book.”

“Yes you will, but not until you can get her off your mind, which means you better hop to it and settle things with her. Where is she anyways?”

“What?” His heart rate skyrocketed. “You mean she’s not here?”

“I haven’t seen her.”

“I just figured she wasn’t coming over here because of what happened. Do you think she’s alright?”

“Don’t panic yet, maybe she has the day off. What’s the chatty one’s name again?”

“Kendra.”

“Right.” Devon lifted his hand and gave a little wave, “Kendra, dear!”

He was beginning to wonder why he still went out in public with Devon.

“What can I do for ya?” Kendra asked cheerfully.

“Actually darling, Johnathan and I were just wondering if Naomi is coming in today.”

“I’d like to know the same thing! She was scheduled in all day with me, but she never showed and didn’t even call! Now I’m stuck here alone until close. All of the part-time girls have plans. I was going to call and chew her out, but we don’t even have her phone number on file!”

Johnathan leapt out of his seat and sprinted back to the Inn to get his car. He was just about to pull out of the parking lot when Devon pounded on his window.

“What?” he shouted, rolling down the window.

Devon looked surprised. “Aren’t I coming?”

“You can, but you better not get in the way; I’m not just letting her go this time.”

The car door closed behind Devon and Johnathan stomped his foot down on the gas pedal. Blasting the horn, he weaved his way through the scattering tourists while Devon clutched the door handle with white knuckles, pleading for a more sensible pace. Nevertheless, they hurdled down the street recklessly, the speed limit long forgotten, as Johnathan’s mind concocted a thousand scenarios that all ended with Naomi in desperate need of help.

“For God’s sake Johnathan, slow down! You almost hit someone!” Devon cried. “We can’t help her if you kill us before we get there!”

But Johnathan barely heard him. This was his fault. He should have left her alone from the very beginning, just like she wanted. He let his selfish desire for her lead the way, convincing them both to do things they shouldn’t. What had he done to her? What price did she pay for his persistence? He would never forgive himself for putting her in this position.

“How do you even know where she lives?” Devon asked, confused.

And that’s when it hit him. He didn’t know where she lived. He knew what street, but she had never told him the number or let him drive her to the door.

“Uh, well, I don’t exactly. I mean, I do, I just don’t have the house number.”

“What? Then how are we going to find her?”

“We’ll just have to split up and ask her neighbours.”

“What are we going to say if they ask who we are or why we want to know?”

“Just say… oh! Say that you’re one of her husband’s colleagues and that he’s out of town on business, and asked you to check on them, but there was no answer when you called and you can’t remember what house he said it was.”

Devon raised an eyebrow incredulously. “And you think they’re going to believe that?”

“Fine then, come up with your own story.” He swung the car to the left and slammed on the brakes. “Okay, we’re here. You take the right side of the street and I’ll do the left.”

“You know this is absolutely insane, yes?”

“Yes.”

Looking very unamused, Devon nodded and complied.

Sighing in frustration, Johnathan trudged down another driveway after yet another door shut in his face. Everyone either had no idea who he was talking about, or was so skeptical that he couldn’t even get an answer. Maybe she had tricked him and lied about her street. He shouldn’t have been so hasty to leave the café; Kendra probably had Naomi’s address written down somewhere, and then he would be there by now. Everything he did lately went wrong, despite all good intentions and efforts. He was cursed. He was being punished for pursuing a married woman. Or maybe the cosmos just hated him. No matter how he looked at it, he was convinced he must have angered some higher power out there. Before lifting his hand to knock on the door, he took a moment to close his eyes and ask for guidance, and the chance to make things right.

After several knocks, a small, elderly woman appeared behind the haggard wooden door. “Yes?”

“Hi,” he said, greeting her with a smile, “I was hoping you could help me. I’m looking for someone and I know she lives on this street, but I can’t remember which number. Maybe you know her? Her name is Naomi, she’s tall, blonde, very pretty, has a little girl called Abby who looks just like her.”

The woman’s face lit up. “Ah, yes! I see them leaving almost every morning when I come out to get the paper.”

“Great! Did you see her this morning?”

“Hmm…” she thought for a minute, “no, I don’t think I did. I couldn’t say for sure though. The days blur together sometimes when you get to be my age.”

“You wouldn’t happen to know which house is hers, would you?”

Squinting, she studied the opposite side of the street. “That one,” she pointed, “with the screen door.”

“Thank you so much, ma’am.”

“They’re not in any trouble, are they?”

“I certainly hope not”, he replied, dashing towards the road. “Devon!” He saw his friend turn from a middle-aged man a few houses down from Naomi. “I’ve got it, come on!”

His heart pounded furiously in his chest as he and Tristan sprinted up the empty gravel driveway to Naomi’s door. He was terrified to think what they might find; or worse, that they would nothing at all and she would be long gone. Pausing briefly to catch his breath, he gingerly opened the squeaky screen door and motioned for Devon to hold it aside. Fist raised, he knocked three times before listening intently, but there was no response. Two more raps on the rough wood only met more silence.

“There’s no car, maybe she’s not home”, Devon offered quietly.

Johnathan shook his head. “If she’s not here, I don’t think she’s ever coming back. But I don’t believe she’s gone. She’s in there, she has to be. She’s just hiding, I’m sure of it.” He wasn’t sure of it at all, but he certainly didn’t want to consider the alternative. He thumped his first on the door again. “Naomi! It’s Johnathan, let me in, please! I know you’re in there, and I’m not leaving until I see you.”

Still no answer.

“Come on, Naomi!”

“Just go away!”

He jumped, not expecting to hear her voice from right behind the door. “I already told you,” he said gently, “I’m not going anywhere until I see you.”

“Then you might as well make yourself comfortable out there, ‘cause I’m not opening the door.”

“Will you at least talk to me?”

“I am talking! What do you want Johnathan? And where the hell do you get off, showing up at my home, demanding to see me?”

“You didn’t come in to work today, I was worried.”

“You’re not my boyfriend, Johnathan. It’s not your job to worry about me and come check on me if I miss work for once in my life!”

Her words stung him. He knew he had crossed her privacy line by coming here, but deep down, a tiny part of him had been silly enough to hope she would be happy or thankful that he had.

“Look Naomi, like it or not, I’m your friend – no, not your boyfriend, but your friend – and friends care about each other. I know I shouldn’t have come here uninvited, but I wanted to make sure you were okay, and Kendra didn’t have your phone number. I’m sorry, I know I’m out of line, but please, just let me see that you’re okay.”

“I can’t”, she replied weakly, her voice cracking.

“Why?”

“Because I can’t! Get lost, Johnathan. Abby and I don’t need you! Just leave us alone!”

“Naomi, I’ll make you a deal, okay? If you really want me to go away and not see you or Abby anymore, I will, but only if you open the door and tell me what’s going on.”

She was near hysterics now. “I can’t! I can’t! Please don’t make me.”

“I can’t make you do anything. I just want to help you.”

“Well you can’t!”

“Let me try. Open the door.”

“No!”

“Why not?”

“Because if I open the door, I know you’ll never leave us alone, and I can’t do this anymore. You have to go and just not look back and everything will go back to how it was before we met.”

“You know it doesn’t work like that.”

“Well it doesn’t work like this either.”

“Open the door, Naomi.”

“No.”

“Then just unlock it. I’ll open it, and you can stand where you are, and you won’t have done anything wrong. Flip the lock.”

The air was still and all was perfectly silent for a moment. Johnathan held his breath, praying for the sound he desperately wanted to hear. A soft click, and his prayers were answered.

Tentatively, he grasped the knob, turning it slowly before pressing against the door. Sunlight flooded the dim house along the door’s path, but Naomi had backed away, keeping herself immersed in shadows. He regarded her from his position outside, but she made no attempt to move towards him, so he took a step inside. She was still too far from the light to make out her features, but he could already tell that something wasn’t right. Her gaze dropped to the floor as he approached; blocking him out again. His eyes adjusted and immediately he noticed an array of multi-coloured bruises marking her pale skin from her legs to her shoulders. Most disturbing were the matching blemishes on each of her arms that were clearly in the shape of a person’s fingers. Gently he reached out and placed his hand under her chin, raising her face to be level with his.

Tears sprung to his eyes and pain wrenched his heart to see her. One eye was surrounded by a dark bruise, her opposite cheek was swollen and several shades of deep red, and a thin trail of blood had dried below a split lip. How could anyone do this to another human being? And it was his fault. He had talked her into a compromising position and they had been caught, as she had feared. And now she was suffering because of it.

He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault”, she whispered softly, wincing slightly from his embrace.

“Yes it is. I should have listened to you… or protected you… or something! But I left. I walked away and let him do this to you.”

“I let him do this to me long before you came along, Johnathan.”

“But why? You don’t deserve this Naomi. Why do you stay?”

“Because I know this isn’t who he is. He’s just been through a lot. I know there’s a good man inside him. I know he still loves Abby and me.”

Johnathan shook his head sadly. “I don’t know who he used to be Naomi, but any good man who loved you right now, would never take out his problems on you.”

She looked away again. “You have to leave.”

“No.”

“Naomi, one of these days he could kill you!”

“He wouldn’t do that. I’m all he has.”

“And look how he treats you!”

“I’m not going.”

He sighed, knowing he wouldn’t make any progress with her right now. “Where’s Abby? Is she okay?”

“She’s fine. She’s in her room.”

Leaving her for the time being, he pushed open the only closed door in the hall to reveal an immaculate, seemingly vacant bedroom. The covers on the small bed had not been touched and the curtains were wide open. There were no signs of life anywhere.

“Abby?”

Nothing.

“Abby? It’s Johnathan. Are you in here?”

A barely audible sniffle to his right drew his attention to the closet. Sliding the door aside, his eyes came to rest on the tear stained face of a terrified child, clutching a stuffed teddy and polar bear for dear life. She shrank back into the corner as far as she could, fear clearly written across her features.

“It’s okay, Abby. It’s just me and your mom. There’s no one else in the house, I promise. Devon is even waiting outside in case someone comes.” He extended a hand to her, “you can come out now. Trust me.”

She studied him warily for a minute, but then her tiny hand closed onto his, and he carefully drew her out from hiding.

“You okay?”

She nodded.

“You sure?”

She nodded.

“Okay then, let’s go see your mom. I think she could use a hug.”

Gathering her in his arms, he returned to the hall where Naomi still stood, looking at him with an emptiness in her eyes that he found frightening. Abby whimpered and Naomi took her, holding her close, but her expression remained unchanged.

“What are you going to do when he gets back?”

“I don’t know.”

“Why don’t you and Abby come stay at the Inn with me tonight and give him a little time and space to cool off, and you can get some rest before work tomorrow.”

She sighed. “It won’t make a difference.”

“Today it will.”

“What about tomorrow?”

“We’ll worry about that tomorrow.”

“Fine,” she conceded, “whatever. I don’t care any more. I’m sick of this, all of it: this house, this crap, us, everything. If you want me to go for tonight, fine, let’s just go.”

That wasn’t quite the response he had anticipated. “I don’t want you to do something you’re not comfortable with.”

“Just drop it, Johnathan.”

“Drop what?”

“This whole ‘nice guy’ thing. I said I’d go, why isn’t that good enough?”

“Because I don’t want you to do it for me, I want you to do it for yourself.”

“Why do we have to fight about this? There’s no pleasing you! Even when I’m trying to do what I think you say, it’s still not good enough, because I have the wrong reasons. I don’t want to do that for myself, but do you ask what I actually do want to do? No. No one ever does! I’m giving in, okay? I’m going for the night, just like you said. Can’t you just take that for whatever it’s worth and stop making this into a complicated decision?”

He was taken aback. Just moments ago she had seemed so distant, and then a stream of rage burst free from another source. “Okay… I’m sorry. Can I help you pack anything?”

“No, we’re fine. We’ll be out in a minute.”

“Okay, I’ll go drive the car up then.”

Of course, it was really Devon who drove; Johnathan was still slightly stunned. True to their word, Abby and Naomi were waiting outside with a duffel bag when they pulled up. He intended to get out and take the bag, then offer the front seat to either of them, but Naomi brushed right past before he had the chance, loading everything, including herself, into the back seat. Perhaps it was for the best anyways. He didn’t want to upset her again. In fact, her face was still a little flushed with choler. So he thought it best to avoid saying or doing anything at all until they arrived, but even then she simply glared at him. This was going to be one cheery night he had gotten them into. Devon had quietly dashed away towards his hotel as soon as the opportunity arose, tossing a sympathetic wave to Johnathan as he went. The troubled threesome was then left alone to suffer the awkward silence that filled first the elevator, then his room.

Naomi went straight to the couch near the beachfront door, never glancing back for a second. Abby had evidently spent the entire night in that closet and happily cuddled up to a pillow on the bed before falling fast asleep. Johnathan wasn’t quite sure where he was supposed to fit into this picture. Perched at the end of the bed, he flicked aimlessly through the multitude of television channels for over an hour, but he never watched any particular program for more than a couple of minutes. The truth was, Johnathan hated TV. He never watched it, but he was at a loss for something safe to keep him occupied. Peering over at Naomi, he found her sights still firmly set on the vibrant coastline; that same blank expression on her face with the same, emotionally vacant eyes. He had to know what she was thinking in these times. It was eating away at him, a constant burn in the back of his mind, until finally he summoned the courage to approach her. Settling down beside her on the sofa, he watched her continue to ignore his presence, remaining completely absorbed in her own musings.

And then he spoke. “What are you thinking about?”

Such a simple question, yet it held a massive burden on their shoulders.

“Before.” She paused. “He wasn’t always like this you know. He used to be happy.”

“What changed?”

“Everything. He and his dad were really close when he was growing up, and his Dad got him this summer job working along his dad at a construction site when he was fifteen. Rich really took to that sort of stuff, he just loved it. They ended up keeping him on part time during the school year and full time every summer. He worked for them for ten years, and he was next in line for a promotion to supervisor, but then there was an accident. I don’t know all of the details; he never told me exactly what happened. All I know, is that some piece of equipment wasn’t set up properly, and someone fell from a few stories up and died instantly. His dad was the supervisor on duty that day, and I guess he had a bit of a history for letting things slide over the years, so everyone thought he was surely going to lose his job or be forced to retire. He had never worked anywhere else in his entire life, not since he graduated high school, and the only way I can try to understand his actions is to assume he was terrified. He told them that he had instructed Richard to check the equipment in that area, and they believed him. Later he said he thought they would go easy on Rich since he had a perfect record, or that as a young, talented guy he would have no trouble finding a new job, but the way he stabbed his own son in the back – that just killed Richard. He was never the same after that.

“He tried to get another job, but everyone knew what had happened, and with no other references, no one wanted to take a chance on him. At best he was offered an entry level job with people who had never worked in construction before. It was a really big blow to his pride; he felt like it was something he should be ashamed of, even though it was no fault of his own, and I never thought less of him for it. That’s when he started drinking. It was the only way he could forget, I guess. Then he’d be fired repeatedly for missing shifts or coming in drunk, so we decided he would stay home for a while and I’d start working. He hated depending on me for money. I tried to be supportive and help him clean up, but it wasn’t enough. I just became a reminder that got in the way, and so he took it out on me. He always felt bad afterwards, and I knew it wasn’t really about me, and I would have done anything to help him cope, so I never said anything. I couldn’t leave, not when he’d lost everything else, and Abby was so young I figured she’d never even remember once things got better. But they never did. He’s not a bad person. I know the boy I married is still there somewhere. I just don’t know how to get through to him.”

For the second time today, Naomi had rendered him speechless. It was such a classic, stereotypical tale, yet it didn’t feel that way when it involved someone he loved. He wondered if she’d ever told anyone that story before, studying her stoic expression reflected in the glass door. Tears ran down her cheeks, but the pain was absent from her eyes; buried much deeper inside.

“I’m sorry”, he whispered, carefully placing a supportive hand on her shoulder.

She nodded, still facing the sand and the waves. “Me too.”