Parasite Invasion

A long time ago, among the highlands of Scotland, sat a small village in the hills, where it was left untouched by the current rumblings of the other villages and their clans.

A young girl of seventeen returned to the village after joining some of the other young people who were running around, and playing among the heather, pretending to hunt and to defend the village from foreign invaders. The young ones followed her back as the sky was darkening, and there were things to do. So when they returned, they went back to their homes and resumed their duties. The young girl, who was known to the people as Matilda, who was a tall blonde girl, assumed her kitchen duties as Chris, a man who came and went, would be back from working, and would be expecting a meal. Her grandmother pealed vegetables as did Matilda, and they put the meat on. When Chris returned, and the meal was over, Matilda cleaned up everything before the night was hers. That was the routine. When she wasn’t busy, she’d be with the other boys and girls, and then she’d return and do her kitchen duties. Such was her life. She was a young maiden, and she was expected to someday marry, have children, and take her place in society. Meanwhile, she was not ready for such a commitment, but wanted to go places. That was impossible at the moment, while the other villages were at each other’s throats.

The next day was not so ordinary. When she finished her chores, Matilda joined her group and headed out to their usual spot outside the village. Matilda was conversing with one of her friends, when one of the boys shouted, “Look! Horses! And a horse pulling a coach, and there’s all these people!”

“Where?” asked Matilda, surprised.

“Right there!”

Matilda saw it: a line of men on horseback and a man driving a horse-driven coach.

“There’s no women,” she observed. “Maybe they’re in the coach?”

“They’d have to be,” said one of the girls. “What are they doing here? I thought the battles were further away!”

“I don’t think they’re from another clan,” said Matilda, who was now getting suspicious. “No Scot has ever dressed like that. And they’re not dark-complexioned, either. They’ve got to be gypsies. Probably out to steal from unsuspecting innocents.”

“They’re heading this way,” said another one of the boys.

“We’d better head back to the village and tell the others,” said Matilda. Everyone agreed, but some of the boys were reluctant as they wanted to see the gypsies up close. They didn’t have to say a word when they got back, because the gypsies came in soon enough. At the front of the group, a man on a black horse sat up with his back straight, and on his head were a yellow bandana and a black ponytail, and an earring on his right ear.

“May I enquire what this commotion is all about?” demanded Chief Stuart.

“Yes,” replied the leader of the gypsies. “They call me Rodney the Rude! These are my best men, and the women and children in the beautiful coach.” A few gypsy women poked their heads out of the coach and grinned cheekily. Rodney continued. “We are merely passing through, if you don’t mind. We’ll set up camp outside the village. Maybe we might return for a proper visit. But for now, we’ll go our way. Yeehaw!” He raced out the gate on his black horse and the rest of the gypsies followed.

“Rodney the Rude eh?” said Chris. “Suits him, the way he just rolled up.”

The next few days were rather bothersome. Rodney would ride through the village stirring up chaos and stealing property while on horseback. He big-noted, and exalted himself while his friends stood there and laughed at the victims of the robbery. The villagers started to complain. Ever since the gypsies arrived, things had been hard to put up with. Rodney did not care. After all, he scored plenty of bounty. One day, it drove Matilda so mad, that she could have sworn that the whiskey bottle was smiling. So she took the initiative and approached the gypsy outside the village.

“Rodney the Rude!” she proclaimed. “May I ask why ye’re doing this?”

“You want to know why?” grinned Rodney. “It’s not hurting anybody. It’s not like I’m kidnapping. It’s just all inanimate objects, things of high value, and money.”

“But when ye leave Scotland the money will be of little value,” said Matilda.

“Who says I’m leaving Scotland? I love it here! I want to stay!” Then he laughed. “I am the most wanted man in Europe and Britain. How’s that for a reputation? The authorities haven’t caught me, and they never will! So what makes you think you can just come up to me demanding an explanation?”

“Look, why don’t ya just leave?” asked Matilda, who was getting annoyed. “We did nothing to you. We didn’t retaliate when your rampage started, and we’d like ye to leave us alone.”

“Is that the non-violent tactic?” asked Rodney politely. “It’s not working, my dear. I think we’ll stay here until there’s nothing left to steal! Haw! Haw! Haw!”

At that moment, Matilda drew a sword, which she had taken off the rack before leaving. She gritted her teeth, saying, “If ye don’t leave peaceably, I will have to take matters a little further…”

“Who do you think you are, Grace O’ Malley?” laughed Rodney. “You’re just a girl! And I’m a big man! Go home to your mummy, Matilda! You’re pathetic!”

Matilda lunged towards him, with the sword aimed toward his abdomen, only to be thrown back to the ground. Matilda got up, but didn’t try again. It was hopeless. She walked back home, with the gypsy’s cruel laughter ringing in her ears.

“What’s the matter?” asked Chris, concerned. Matilda sat at the table across from him.

“I tried to negotiate with Rodney the Rude,” replied Matilda bitterly. “That didn’t work, not even when I tried physical force. He was too strong. Or maybe I’m too weak…”

“Matilda, girls aren’t built for warfare,” said Chris. “What did he do when you tried to fight him?”

“He threw me down,” said Matilda, who had now sat with her head on her arms, facing the table’s wooden surface. “He didn’t even draw his sword. All he did was laugh and put me down. And worst of all, he’s not leaving any time soon…”

“Well,” said Chris. “If he’s got a new target, like you, he won’t leave.”

“He said he won’t leave until there’s nothing left to steal. Maybe he’s planning a take-over or something…”

“If you want to drive him out, you’ll have to try harder. Practise with the sword until you are ready. I’ll teach you how to use it, and you practise after all your chores are done, and then I’ll decide when you are ready to face him. He’s got a big ego. Maybe if you beat him, he’ll have to run off because his reputation would be in shreds.” That made Matilda smile. They’d found a weakness.

The next day, Rodney the Rude approached the chief of the village, and he made a scene. Everyone, including Matilda, Chris and her grandmother, stood around. It looked as if there was going to be a showdown. There wasn’t. Rodney was just being a pain.

“Rodney, what will it take to make ye go away?” asked Chief Stuart.

“If I leave, where will I go?” grinned Rodney.

“How ‘bout the authorities?” Chief Stuart retorted. “How ‘bout we take ye to them? Maybe they’ll teach ye a thing or two!”

“Haha, perhaps,” said the gypsy. “I quite like this village. If I had one like this, I could stop all this civil war going on… and bring the highlands under my control. Tell me sir; would you do anything to protect this village?” To the chief, it sounded quite a bizarre question, and for once it sounded as though Rodney the Rude was trying to be intelligent instead of playing around as if he had no brain cells left.

“Well, of course I would!” replied the Chief. “My great grandfather founded this village! Why, not only would I fight for it on my own if I had to, I’d even gamble for it!”

“Would you now?” sneered Rodney, slowly raising an eyebrow. “Would you stake your life on it, chief? Because if you would, and your chances weren’t very good, you’d not only lose the village, but your life also. But if you lost the village, death would only take away the shame wouldn’t it?”

“Yes well, I probably would stake my life on it, but this isn’t death we’re talking about,” said Chief Stuart. “We’re talking about making ye leave this village.”

“I would never have thought you were a gambling man,” said Rodney, as he turned to look over the surrounding villagers with a sly grin. “Would you be willing to have me leave, after you gambled on the village?”

“If it’ll make ye go, sure,” said Chief Stuart. “None of the riches of the village would make ye go because you’d come back for more. If I win the bet, ye and yer group will go away from this village and take your filth with you. However, if ye win, then… you can stay.”

“And take over the village myself,” Rodney finished.

“Take over the village?!” exclaimed Chief Stuart. “Ye’re willing to make the stakes that high?!”

“Well of course,” said Rodney. “You made clear what you want out of it, and I’m telling you my end of the stick. And all this will be determined by…” He reached into his pouch, “a coin.”

“A coin?!” exclaimed Chief Stuart. “But that’s a silly coin toss! Can’t ye gamble like a real man?!”

“Don’t be so upset,” said Rodney. “This is exactly like gambling. Gambling is juggling possibilities of events occurring. You should know that. And I choose heads, so you will have to be tails.”

“Why?!”

“Because it’s my coin.”
He tossed the coin, and sure enough, it landed on heads. Rodney picked it up, smiling smugly. He won the toss. “Best out of three?” He tossed again. Heads. Final toss. Heads.

“Well, it looks like the village belongs to me. All is mine.” Then he laughed evilly, and his men laughed like hyenas.

For the times that followed, the village was under gypsy control, with Rodney as the new village chief. The villagers lost their freedom to do anything at all. Meanwhile, Matilda would go and train in secret, perfecting her sword techniques. Soon she could wield a sword with flair, and she even had a special broadsword smelted for her, as a favour from her mentor Chris, and the local blacksmith. Matilda built up her strength between chores, and soon she was ready. All she needed was an opportunity, where everyone would see her confront him, and hopefully defeat him, and tear his pride to shreds. That would be when she’d deliver him into the hands of the authorities, and Rodney the Rude would be dealt with indefinitely.

One day, Rodney the Rude was in such a cheerful mood, he decided to clown around. He was tossing his coin that won him the village and was catching it and kissing it. Matilda made her move. She pretended to bump into him.

“Watch it!” he growled. He tossed his coin again, and it landed on the ground and landed on tails. “Tails?! That’s not my coin! That’s…!” He stopped when he saw everyone looking at him.

“Care to watch me see how many heads I get?” asked Matilda sweetly. Rodney nodded but said nothing. She flipped the coin once, and it landed on heads. She flipped it again, and it landed on heads. Third time. Heads. Fourth time. Heads. Fifth time. Heads. Sixth time. Heads.

“You’re lucky,” said Rodney. “Six times, each with heads.”

“It’s yer coin,” said Matilda. “It wasn’t luck at all. This coin is rigged.” The villagers gasped and then began angrily to advance towards him. Rodney drew his sword, warning the villagers to back away, and some of his men joined him.

“Ye swindling, cheating old cur!” growled Matilda.

“You’d better watch what you say to me,” sneered Rodney. “I’m an elder, a male, and chief of this village! You should know your place! You shouldn’t even be carrying a sword on your thigh!”

“So ye noticed,” Matilda leered. “Ye may be older than me, but ye’re not the rightful chief of this village. Ye gained it through cheating and stealing. Ye wanted someone to give it to ye unwittingly, so that ye could say that you got it fair and square! But you’re a gypsy. With you, nothing is fair and square.”

“I refuse to be shown up by a girl who is not even higher than her social standing!” roared Rodney. “If you don’t back down I will punish you personally and severely!”

“If anyone deserves punishment, it’s you,” said Chief Stuart. “Ye might as well stop what you’re doing. I’ve sent a messenger to fetch the royal guard.”

“It was your idea, wasn’t it Matilda?!” roared Rodney. He lunged towards her. On instinct, Matilda drew her sword, just in time to deflect a blow to the chest. With all her might, she then forced him back, and the battle began. “I see you’ve gotten stronger, Matilda. But you’re still just a mere child, and you won’t last long!” Rodney intended to fight to the death. And seeing he was sure he would win, he was also certain he could kill her. For a dirty gypsy he was quite a fighter. But every time he lunged toward Matilda, she would block him. Unfortunately she could not keep this up forever, and began to tire out. She jumped out of the way, and tried to catch her breath.

“Weakening, are we?” Rodney sneered. “You can try to run away if you like… but there’s no escape…” Matilda blocked another blow from Rodney’s sword, but felt the impact rattle through her bones. The next thing she knew, she was on the ground, clutching the area under her left ribs. The villagers gasped. Blood was slowly coming through her fingers. Rodney pointed the tip of his sword at Matilda’s face, with an evil grin on his face.

“You made a big mistake,” he sneered. “You did some training, yes, but it wasn’t enough. And for another thing, you’re a girl. You can’t fight for peanuts…” He felt a pain in the back of his head. Some of the angry villagers were pelting him with rocks.

“Strike one of our children, would ye?!” one of the women shouted.

“Get out of our village!” yelled a man.

“Take your filth with ya!” shouted another. The other gypsies had their swords drawn, and Rodney had the villagers surrounded.

“Silence!” he said. “I rule the village. You got a pathetic girl to do the fighting for you! For this foolishness, she will die. I won’t even have to finish her off. She’ll lose so much blood that she won’t have enough to know her own name! She’ll die by herself.”

“But it was by yer sword that she’s fallen!” argued the woman who shouted the first insult. “And ye started it by coming in here as if ye were royalty!” While Rodney argued with the rest of the village, Matilda got up, slowly so as not to hurt herself further, and picked up her sword with her left hand. She swung the sword over her shoulder and around her neck, brought it back around and used the flat side of the blade to hit the gypsy in the back of the head, causing him to fall forward. The villagers gasped again! Rodney was so dizzy from the blow that he couldn’t get back up just yet. The rest of the gypsies saw this, and in a panic, mounted their horses, and bounded out of the village gates.

After that event, Matilda was given medical attention for her sword wound, and Rodney had been seated and tied to a chair in Chief Stuart’s house. Chris had popped over for a visit, and Matilda with him.

“I needn’t ask you why they call you Rodney the Rude,” said Chris. “Your behaviour was atrocious. What do you have to say for yourself?”

“My head hurts…,” Rodney moaned.

“Ach, stop yer whinin’,” said Chief Stuart. “The royal guard has arrived, and they are ready to take you away. But seeing Matilda defeated you, she also gets a say in what happens to ye.”

“I’d say to lock ye up and throw away the key,” said Matilda.

“What if I just leave the village and never come back?” asked the gypsy.

“You’ve been causing a lot of trouble everywhere you go,” said Chris. “If we just let you go, you’ll cause more grief in other villages. You’re the most wanted man in Europe and Britain, and I think they would like to know that justice has been done. Do you think we’re stupid enough to let you go knowing the trouble you’ve caused? How do we know that you won’t bring all your gypsy friends back together for more trouble?”

“They’re cowards,” said Rodney. “I don’t want anything to do with cowards.”

“Well it takes one to know one,” said Chief Stuart. “And ye’re the biggest coward of all. Matilda, would ye like to do the honours?”

“With pleasure,” said Matilda. She made sure that Rodney the Rude was properly bound and then she served him up to the authorities, who took him away. His pride was now in tatters, and he dreaded to be seen in public again after being defeated… by a girl. Things in the village returned back to normal, but the only change was that they stepped up their security to ensure that this would never happen again. The village chief stopped gambling, and Matilda put the sword away and resumed her duties as a normal girl. That’s what she wanted after all that had happened.

THE END