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Claim:
It would seem this world has talons,
With which it decides to rip open
My heart, leaving only searing pain, pain
Which dashes my hope, my dreams, my
Heart, it tears; how am I to
Stay whole, stay alive in this bitter
Winter cold that is this world’s own?
If my cries are in vain as they
Appear, if my needs are left unmet
As they are, if my soul is
Lost, or in the hands of the
Devil, as I would hope, then all
Is lost; but as though it were
Life I am living, and not death…
You may call it a testament to
My faith in change, that is why
I seem to be still here, now
Doubt seems not with me except when
With the Christians’ god. Is that not
Irony fitting of the gods? I suppose
‘Tis so, as that is the way
One may say to me, may God
Have mercy upon you, and I shall
Reply, no, I have seen this mercy
That you speak so highly of, but
You see, I do not want that
Supposed gift from your supposed god, it
Seems as though said mercy is death
Whom then should aide me in this?
Whom then should give me solace from
This plague that seems to be life?
Death, death seems to be the only
Constant, the only keeper of eternity, not
A god, but a guardian of lost
Souls, of which mine is a part
My soul, that soul that has beaten
All that has assailed her, she that
Is content in a life of her making
Not one given to her, not one
Made for her, not one with all
Decisions previously made for her, one of
Her own, one only handed to her
This heart in my chest, it’s been
Broken, once or twice, but it’s mine
All mine, stitches, infections, iniquities and all
The imperfections were put there by my
Hand; the breakings, the mendings, the defeats,
The triumphs, the losses, the gains: mine
Only mine, only I may have claim