Title: His Side

Author: Pink Canary

Summary: Though it has been years since the left side of the bed was occupied by someone else, Kailey still has not quite moved on. But in an unexpected visit, her past lover opens her eyes and gives her closure. One-shot.

It was midnight. Kailey entered her apartment silently, flinching at the sound of her keys hitting the glass as she laid them on the dining room table. As expected, the entire house was dark.

She sighed. Apparently, hoping that her boyfriend Taylor would wait for her was too much to ask. She felt her way through the dark apartment, careful not to disturb Taylor’s sleep. He hated that.

In the dark bedroom, she could hear Taylor’s steady breathing. Even blindly, she could make her way to the left side of the bed, his side, with ease. Kailey was used to this routine. Arriving at a dark house. Stumbling down the hallway towards the familiar room. Hearing the familiar steady breath of her lover. Then, sitting down on the left side of the bed, his side, Taylor slightly shifting as her weight caused the bed to sink down further. Her hand would expertly glide over the sheets until it reached a lock of his long dark hair and she’d curl it around her finger. “This is the only time I can play with your hair, love,” she’d murmur.

She had mastered the art of interacting with Taylor in his sleep to such a degree that he didn’t even budge as her fingers unraveled the strand of hair. She gently stroked his smooth cheeks and laid her hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat. Perhaps they never spoke, but at least he was alive.

Kailey rose from the left side of the bed. His side. Silently, she stripped down to her underwear. Too tired to even consider slipping into a nightgown, she sank down into the right side of the bed. Her side. As she closed her eyes, her hand involuntarily reached to touch her lips, feeling the cold golden ring that had sat upon her finger for years. Only when she confirmed it was still there could she begin to drift off to sleep, not to be woken until the next morning.

Yet that night was different. Kailey was startled to find herself awake a few hours later. She felt a light being flipped on. Her eyes fluttered open. Sure enough, the room was lit with a yellow, luminous glow. Odd. Taylor was a heavy sleeper. He never awoke during the night, much less long enough to rise from the bed and turn the light on.

“I thought you only clenched the sheets for me…” came a soft voice from the left side, his side, of the bed.

“What, love?” Kailey asked, confused. Taylor wasn’t a soft-spoken man.

“I thought you only clenched the sheets for me,” he repeated as softly as before.

Kailey felt uneasy. Though she hadn’t spent many waking moments with Taylor lately, she knew him well. She knew him well enough to realize it wasn’t Taylor speaking to her. “Taylor?” she asked shakily, gripping her ring between her fingers.

“No,” he confirmed what Kailey already knew. “It isn’t.”

“Who is it?” Kailey asked, too afraid to face the other side.

“Won’t you face me, muffin?” he asked, softly and gently.

Kailey relaxed. Muffin. Such a familiar word. Nostalgia flooded her as she recalled the warm feeling she experienced each time she’d heard a gentle voice address her like that. It had been so long. No one had since the left side of the bed had been occupied by someone different. So long ago she was certain she’d forgotten. Yet though time had made her mind forget, her heart had always remembered.

“Gregory?” she said softly as she turned to the other side.

“In the flesh,” he said, wearing his trademark grin. “Well, not quite.”

Kailey could not believe her eyes. Unkempt chestnut hair. Hazel eyes. Rosy cheeks. Full lips. Long, slender body. It was all there, irradiating an eerie golden glow. In reach, yet somehow, he seemed so faraway. Just like the last time he had been there.

“But how?” she breathed out.

“I see you still wear the ring,” he remarked, overlooking her question. His fingertips grazed the cold white-gold ring, momentarily lending it a yellow glow.

“I’ve never taken it off,” Kailey said, looking at Gregory in wonder. So many questions raced through her mind, yet she didn’t feel it was the right time to ask them. She’d spent so much of the time she’d had with him questioning it all she had failed to savor it. She didn’t want to spoil her second chance. A chance that might be even shorter than the first.

He smiled. “I am glad you liked my gift,” he said. “You didn’t seem too fond of it when I first gave it to you.”

Kailey blushed. “I’m sorry I threw it back at you,” she apologized truthfully. “It’s just… I was hurt at the time.”

“Oh, don’t apologize,” Gregory reassured her. “You had every right to be.”

“It’s just… I thought you’d bought it for someone else,” Kailey said sheepishly. The thought of it seemed ridiculous now, yet back then it had made so much sense.

“You mean Gloria?” Gregory asked, awakening ghosts of the past.

“I know, I know, it’s silly,” Kailey said sadly, having realized this too late. “But… it seemed so real back then. The late night calls. The afternoon outings. I thought about it, and it all added up to that.”

“But how could it?” Gregory asked. “You knew I loved you deeply.”

“Yes, I knew,” Kailey said. “But the way you left for entire days and interrupted our nights for phone calls, I grew paranoid. I thought you were having an affair when really, you were looking for this.” She clutched the ring.

“I show you a beautiful ring and you throw it back at me,” Gregory said sadly.

“I thought you were breaking up with me,” Kailey protested. “I thought you were showing me the ring you bought for another woman. You hadn’t spent a day with me in weeks. It didn’t strike me as the prelude to a proposal.”

“Yes, I suppose you’re right,” Gregory said thoughtfully. “It still hurt, though. There I was, giving you the ring I had spent weeks looking for, feeling the happiest I’d felt in my entire life. And you threw all of that back in my face.”

“I’m sorry,” Kailey said quietly.

“That’s all right, muffin,” Gregory said. “I’ve had long enough to forgive you entirely. You never did answer my question though.”

Kailey fell silent, trying to look confused. Of course she knew the question he was talking about. He hadn’t exactly formulated it as a question, yet she knew perfectly well what he meant. And she didn’t know what to say. Discussing her current relationship with a deceased lover had never been something she’d expected to do.

“I thought you only clenched the sheets for me,” Gregory said for the third time.

“I know,” Kailey said, a blush coloring her cheeks. “And at the time, I did, love. It’s just… as you said, we’ve both had a long time. I’ve had to keep living.”

“You called him love, too,” Gregory said softly.

“I know,” Kailey repeated quietly. “But I’ve had to keep on living, Greg.” She paused. “May I have a question now?”

“Sure,” Gregory replied.

“If you hadn’t ever felt happier,” Kailey began, hesitating slightly, “then why did you do it?” A question that had been in the back of her mind ever since he had.

“I thought the happiest phase of my life was over,” Gregory said sadly. “And that nothing else would ever surpass it. And I thought, why continue living if I’d never experience anything better? I had nothing left to hope for or to look forward to. Never again would I think that just maybe the next day would be even better. Instead, I’d have to live knowing that everything from a certain point was just going downhill. And I just couldn’t take that.”

“I came back, you know,” Kailey said. “The very next morning. Gloria had told me the whole deal with the ring. But it was already too late. You had the ring in your hand and your fingers were already cold. They let me close your eyes. Your mother was there. She told me to take the ring. That you would’ve wanted me to. She wouldn’t let me leave until I put it on my finger.”

“I know,” Gregory said. “And it is what I wanted.”

“How do you know?” Kailey asked, surprised.

“I’ve kept my promise,” he replied. “I’ve been watching over you, every single moment, Kailey. Even when it hurts. Like when you clench the sheets for someone else.”

“I’m sorry,” Kailey said softly.

“It’s alright, muffin,” Gregory said. “When I was alive, I only wanted one thing for you. Happiness. Same goes for now. You’re happy with him. And that’s all I ask for.”

“I wouldn’t say I’m happy with him,” Kailey said, thinking about her limited time with Taylor.

“You are,” Gregory said. “You just don’t let yourself see it. You love him. I see how you look at him. With that deep stare you used to use on me. Even in the darkness. You love him, Kailey. You know you do.”

“Yes, but-” she began to say.

“No buts,” Gregory interrupted. “You’re doing it again. Over-analyzing things. It ended with us, Kailey. I don’t want you to make the same mistake again. If things aren’t perfect at the moment, they’ll work themselves out with time. Don’t analyze if you see each other too little or too much. At least you have each other. Isn’t that what matters?”

“I suppose, but-” yet she was interrupted again.

“What did I say?” Gregory said. “I know how you play with his hair and feel his heartbeat. I know how happy those little details make you. And if the details make you feel so great, then just imagine how you’ll feel once you have the time to see the big picture again.”

Kailey thought about the joy she felt as Taylor’s steady heartbeat pounded against the palm of her hand. It filled her entirely, beginning with a warm feeling in her chest and curling up as far as her fingers and her toes. She couldn’t even begin to imagine a feeling more pleasant. The mere thought of it made her lips curl into a smile.

“Thought so,” Gregory said, smiling too. But his smile faded as his glow began to diminish. “I don’t have much time left, Kailey,” he said solemnly. “There’s only one thing I ask of you.”

“What is it?” Kailey asked.

Gregory’s fingers grazed the ring once more. “Take it off, will you?” he said. “Five years is a long time to keep wearing the ring your ex gave you, isn’t it?”

“But-” Kailey said.

“No buts about this either,” Gregory said, his voice sounding more and more faraway with each word. “I hope you’ll never forget me, Kailey. And as much as I wish I’d never stop being the man in your life, I know you can’t keep thinking of me like that. This isn’t my side of the bed anymore. It’s his. And it’s only fair to him that you only think of him as the man in your life.”

Kailey could barely see him anymore. Hurriedly, she took the ring off and laid it on the bedside table. “I’ll keep it someplace special,” Kailey whispered. “Just like you’ll always have a special place in my heart… Gregory.”

Gregory was merely a bright shadow on the bed now. “I’ll always take care of you, Kailey,” he said with the last of his voice. And then, as suddenly as he had appeared, he was gone.

Taylor laid on the left side of the bed. His side. Kailey stared at him deeply, placing her hand on his chest. His steady heartbeat let her know he was alive. And then, she did something she’d never done before. She planted a kiss on his lips as he slept.

His eyelids fluttered, revealing his light brown eyes. “I’ve missed you, love,” Kailey whispered to him, before kissing him once more.

“I’ve missed you, too, kitten,” Taylor whispered between kisses. “I’d been hoping you’d wake me up when you got home for weeks.”

Kailey smiled. She’d been debating for weeks whether or not he’d mind terribly if she did. If she’d just acted, or even asked, she wouldn’t have had to settle with playing with his hair in his sleep. Silly her. Always analyzing. But not anymore.

With a mischievous grin, Kailey rolled Taylor on top of her. Soon, she was clenching the sheets. “Just for you, love,” she whispered. “Just for you.”