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Before I start I want to apologize to everyone who reads this. I've just been stuck in this romatic rut lately, mainly because of spring, so I decided to do something funny that I wouldn't have to dedicate a lot of responsiblity to. It may get updated a lot more than I expect if Dee will help me, but I doubt that. So here it is D and T Inc's first story. Hope it's not too random. (F.Y.I: You should listen to the Baka song, the happy song, or something incredibly stupid while reading. It just helps the setting.)
The village elder stood before his elite shinobi. A vision had struck him in the middle of the night. He reached out his hands and started to chant as the future loomed brighter before his clouded eyes.
"Yes, I can see it. There will be two. The first will be our champion. He will save us from the great evil yet to come. He will be born this night, in this village, and the destroyer will come later. So I have seen it. So it will be!"
The ninja looked amongst themselves skeptically. One of them raises his hand to speak.
"Umm...Not to be disrespectful Elder, but...Should you be telling the future right now? I mean after the last time you were in this...state of mind. We still haven't gotten rid of all of those monkeys."
A wine bottle flys past his head.
"Shut-up you! I'm not drunk this time! What I say is true, the hero will be born tonight. Now, get me another scotch. Daddy's thirsty."
in a hospital somewhere at the edge of the village
A young mother cradles her newly born child in her arms. The child coos and gurgles happily at his smiling mother. His 'father' sit's in a chair with his arms cross looking at his little family.
"Awww...Isn't he cute! He definately has his father's eyes."
"The fuck he does! My eyes ain't blue!"
"Of course they aren't. I haven't slept with you since our honeymoon. Gawd, was that the biggest disappointment of my life. Man, you can be a real baka sometimes."
The baby giggles.
"Baka. Baka."
The mom smiles at the babies first words, and holds him up in the air.
"Oh, you like that word huh? Well what do you think of baka for you name? Do you like that? Okay then. Your new name will be Baka. Welcome to the world my little Baka."
15 years later
"I hate gym. I hate gym. I HATE GYM!"
The coach watches as the entire class runs from the rabid dogs he set after them He smiles as some of the dogs catch the slower students.
"Run faster! Remember if you get caught, I don't care, but screamers will be shot!"
Baka picks up the pace. A blond boy with a long pony tail floats off the ground next to him. He isn't breaking a sweat.
"See. I told you if you tuned your spiritual skills you wouldn't have these problems, but noooo. You had to be the big body builder type."
"Stupid Yuri. Always showing off for the stupid girls."
Yuri looked back and smiled.
"Speaking of which. Maybe you should be running faster."
"What are you..."
Yuri floats further ahead of him. As a legion of fangirls stampede over Baka to get to Yuri. Baka lays on the ground curled in a ball.
"Ow. Okay, that hurt. Well, at least it wasn't the..."
He hears a low growl from behind him. The dogs from before circle him slowly.
"Oh shi..aaahhhhhhh!"
"This is all your fault. Who else has a freaking fan-club. I think one of those chicks in a skirt was a dude."
"Yeah, that was Jerry. I try to stay away from him. Anyway. It's not my fault, so don't hate my sexy."
A figure dressed in black knocks Baka down. Baka stands up and starts to yell at the retreating figure.
"Hey, Jerk off! Watch were the hell you're going, or next time I'll put my foot so far up your stupid goth ass it'll come out your mouth."
"Baka. I don't think that's a good idea."
A blade flys past his throat and barely misses. The dark figure that had threw it didn't even bother to turn around.
"I'm sorry for the inconvience, but for the record. I'm emo, not goth."
He walks away. Baka stands up steaming. He and Yuri walk towards their class.
"Good morning class. Joining our little ninja academy today will be a new student. She just transfered in from another village. Her name is Yoai."
The black haired figure from before enters the room. Her bangs hang in her face, but Baka knows who it is almost immediatley. He stands on his desk and points an accusing finger at her.
"You! Your that prick from before in the hall! Dude I should kick your ass!"
Yoai ignores him and goes to sit in her seat next to Yuri. Baka glares at her.
"Mister Baka Curu. Do you have a problem?"
Baka looks around. Every eye is on him. He blinks and starts to sit down. Yuri looks at him about to crack up. Not only had he threatened a girl, but he had just made a bigger moron of himself in front of the whole class. Yeah, this was going to be good.
"Uh...No sir, I was just wondering why we have a ninja academy in a village this size. I mean doesn't it seem a little...stupid."
The teacher pushes him down in his seat so hard it breaks.
"That's a good question Mister Curu. To answer it, not too long ago our leader foretold that there would be a great warrior and a great evil amongst us. So we are hoping that by opening this school we will train them to be great."
"Won't you just be training the evil too?"
"Yes, that's why we have optional classes for those students who wish to partake in his or her evil uprising. So that everythings equal."
Baka rolls his eyes. That made perfect sense.
"Why don't you ever walk? It'll be good for your fat ass."
"Hey, who's the one with the fan club? And who is the one who everyone thinks will be the greatest hero of all time?"
"Stupid academy. I mean really, who needs to learn ninja skills?"
"Dude. I've seen your grades. Your lucky they don't let fifteen year olds stay in kindergarden."
They are only a few feet from his house.
"Ha. Ha. very funny."
There's suddenly a loud boom as Baka falls into a huge hole only inches from his front porch. He clings to the edge of the pit. There are deadly snakes and reptiles jumping up to get him.
"Only me. Only me! Who else has a sister that would dig a trap for them. I swear she came out evil."
"I heard about that. She came out breathing fire at the doctor with her head spining. They say she killed him."
Baka shakes his head and looks up at Yuri.
"No, she only gave him third degree burns. Now help me out of this thing would you."
Yuri smirks and reaches down to grab his hand.
"Only you could be caught by something this simple."
There's a loud snap, and Yuri is lifted into the air by his ankle. He scowls as he looks into Baka's smiling face.
"Shut-up! it's not funny."
A little girl with big blue eyes and pink hair comes out of Baka's house. She totally ignores Baka and goes to the tree that Yuri is hanging from.
"Yuri, You've come at last to take me away. Oh, how I've waited for this day."
Suddenly Baka's mom calls for her inside. Muffin waves and runs back inside. Both Yuri and Baka call to her from outside at the same time.
"MUFFIN!"
Yeah, I feel like that sucked, but it feels good to get out of that romatic rut. Anyway even I will update this, and there are bound to be a lot of potty humor and such. Please review, you know, if you want to. Bye.
