FINE LINES

NUMBER OF MONTHSARIES SPENT TOGETHER WITH TRICK
Fourteen

NUMBER OF MONTHSARIES HE ACTUALLY REMEMBERED
Nine

IMPORTANT THINGS BROKEN WHILE FIGHTING
His Palmtop computer
His cellphone
My iPod
My PSP
His Nintendo DS
His glasses
Our TV remote
Our TV screen

THINGS TRICK LEFT BEHIND AFTER LEAVING OUR CONDO
A broken computer mouse
A pair of jeans that don’t fit
Sci-Fi books and FHM magazines
A pair of slippers
A pack of stale cigarettes

THINGS THAT TRICK CAME BACK FOR THREE DAYS LATER
Sci-Fi books and FHM magazines
House keys, returned to me.

THINGS I REGRET SAYING WHILE FIGHTING WITH TRICK FOR THE LAST TIME
You’ll never amount to anything
I should've listened to my mother
Acid Junkie
Tell me who she is and I just might not kill her
I faked it
I hate you

NUMBER OF ELECTRONIC THINGS FROM TRICK DELETED AFTER BREAK-UP
54 text messages
36 e-mails
126 pictures on digicam
22 pictures on cellphone

GIRLS CONFRONTED AFTER BEING SUSPECTED OF DATING TRICK AFTER BREAK-UP
Karen, his bestfriend’s sister
Ally, his seatmate in Philosophy
Rika, his partner in PhysEd
Merry, my bestfriend

THINGS THAT HAVE REMINDED ME INSTANTLY OF TRICK, ANNOYING ME TO NO END
A pack of Camel cigarettes
The MacStore
Gaming consoles
McDonald’s fries
A bottle of Betadine
Sex
Urbandub's First of Summer music video
Desperate Housewives
Isaac Asimov books
News on new technology
New York
An old lady walking to church at six in the morning
A box of pepperoni pizza from Pizza Hut, the last meal we shared before the day we broke up
A poor guy sitting on the sidewalk with a mangy dog
Rabbits at a pet store
He and I, a short story from my Lit class

TOTAL NUMBER OF TIMES I RE-ARRANGED THE BEDROOM THE DAY AFTER THE NIGHT WE BROKE UP
Twelve

PLACES I HAD DREAMED OF VISITING WITH TRICK
Japan
New York City
Amsterdam
Spain
France
London

NUMBER OF YEARS, MONTHS SINCE I FIRST REALIZED I WAS IN LOVE WITH TRICK
One year, eight months

NUMBER OF YEARS, MONTHS SINCE I FIRST MET TRICK AT A MUTUAL FRIEND’S PARTY
Two years, two months

THINGS THAT HAVE BEEN IMPOSSIBLE TO FORGET ABOUT TRICK
How his hair always has that ‘straight out of bed’ look whether he combs it or not
How he’d fall asleep in the middle of class, even if it was at three in the afternoon
How he always insisted that Sartre had the right idea about freedom, even though I always insisted that it was just relabeled anarchy
Photos of me, taken with his cellphone whenever I’d be busy or not looking or talking to someone else
How he couldn’t speak a full sentence of Japanese to save his life so he’d make me edit his papers
How we’d talk about little things while staying at the swings in the Salcedo Village Park till four A.M. or until the security guard would make us leave
The annoying way he’d grin when he’d make fun of me and then call me ‘cute’ whenever I’d do or say something silly
How he liked his coffee dark with two sugars because he doesn’t know how to put in just the right amount of creamer

FORMER NICKNAMES FOR TRICK
Bunny
Puppy
Darling
Babe

PRESENT I PLANNED TO GIVE TRICK DURING OUR SECOND ANNIVERSARY
His own digital SLR camera

MISTAKES MADE AFTER TALKING TO TRICK TWO WEEKS AFTER BREAK-UP
Saying we could never get back together again
Saying we could never be friends
Not allowing him to drop me off after our ‘civil' lunch
Screaming at and threatening a girl that gave him a hug just as we were walking towards the taxi stop only to realize that she was his cousin

CLASSES DROPPED AFTER BREAKING UP WITH TRICK
Japanese
Philosophy
English Lit

REASONS FOR FLIRTING WITH PAT, A CLUB D.J. YET TOTAL D.O.M. AFTER BREAK-UP
Patrick was Trick’s first name and so was Pat’s
Somewhat resembled Trick had he gone off to be a lanky perv
Knew he was friends with Trick’s friends and thought about getting even

RECURRING DREAMS ABOUT TRICK
It’s been four years after we break up. My car is in the shop. Late evening and I take the bus going to Makati even though it’s stuffy and I hate it. When I get on board the bus is empty save a man seated at the very far end. I take a seat near him because I’m afraid of traveling alone. Just as the bus lurches along EDSA, the engine dies, causing all the lights to flicker out as well. I curl back into my seat, afraid. The man coughs to clear his throat before walking towards me to tap my shoulder. I shiver, wondering if he has a knife or a gun, if I’m going to die. Instead he leans towards me, his face barely visible in the moonlight. It’s Trick and he offers to take me home.
Trick and I have been married for a while. One day we get a call from the principal who says that our eight-year-old son has gotten into a fight at school. Upon meeting up with him, the principal tells us that our son said he only threw his heavy book bag at another boy because he was bullying a little girl. Instead of reprimanding him we tell the principal to talk to the bully first. Afterwards we go out to buy our son ice cream.
I go to a Thursday night rave at Absinthe, Greenbelt 3 alone. Instead of meeting my friends, I end up bumping into him and his new girlfriend. She’s the same girl who’s been flirting with him ever since she broke up with her boyfriend. Posed in her right hand is a lychee martini, the same drink that I always get. I am nauseated.
Six months after break-up. Somehow these lists reach Trick. He realizes I was wrong and that I’m sorry. I still stay at our old apartment, waiting. There is a knock on my door.