A/N: Somehow, I felt inclined to continue even though I’m already running out of ideas for it. Well, enjoy if you can. (WARNING: I wrote this on no food, no sleep, and running a fever)

Chosen

Chapter Two

Because it Makes Chronological Sense

“Miyuki-chan!”

Miyuki sighed heavily, seriously considering ignoring Emiko’s wailing until she realized that the story wouldn’t progress if she did and would thus stick her in an infinite loop…or some such thing. She quickly found Emiko sitting in a non-descript place with a laptop, reading something. It puzzled her that they had been in a non-descript outside area only a chapter ago, but they now found themselves inside a place that looked suspiciously like their recently razed home.

“I must be on a filler page,” she rationalized.

“Miyu-chan!” Emiko wailed again, pointing wildly at her computer screen. “There are stalkers on this website commenting on our lives! We have to burn our house down again!”

Miyuki soundly thumped Emiko’s head with her fist and sighed. “Those are reviews, Emi-chan. They’re for the SC.” It was unknown whether or not Emiko retained – or even heard – Miyuki’s words, since she was rather busy rolling around on the floor clutching her injured head.

“I’ve been violated! Rape! Rape!” Emiko was skillfully ignored.

Miyuki instead turned her attention to the computer screen, reading the first comment. “KrisSk8Gurl: LOL ‘You are SO screwed’.”

Suddenly forgetting that she had apparently been violated, Emiko quickly leapt to her feet. “Hey, I said the same thing! Except for that LOL part…what does this LOL mean? Lice of London? Lay On…Linen?” Emiko began pondering this deep and enthralling topic while Miyuki read the next review.

“Kakyou Takashiro: haha. you know what, wasn't expecting much for this particular genre in the manga section, but it worked i suppose. certainly worth continuing, and a delightful read - be it a little weird at parts, but others very funny.”

The SC promptly swelled with pride…but not too much. Swelling causes stretch marks.

“This particular genre…” Miyuki quickly checked the genre. “Ah, humor. Does that mean you’re stupid on purpose, Emiko?”

“Lots O Lemons? Lemon Pie? Lemon…ade…and pie…I want pie…”

A large sweatdrop appeared on Miyuki’s face, nearly drowning her. “Nevermind…”

“At least she has a personality,” Nariko complained, randomly appearing. “I feel rather two-dimensional.” To demonstrate her point, she turned sideways and vanished from sight.

“Whoa…trippy,” Emiko observed. “That is so lemon pie!”

“…Lemon pie?” Miyuki knew she really shouldn’t question – and thus encourage – the strange words that came from her friend’s mouth, but she did anyway.

“LOL, get it? Lemon pie? Lol? It’s so obvious Miyu-chan, even you should get it.” Emiko promptly cackled at her friend’s ‘ignorance’ and a small piece of Miyuki died that day (it happened to be a small chunk of her appendix, so she was unaffected). “So…everybody here?”

“I’m here, you’re there, Nariko-san is apparently on another plane of existence, the SC is swelling…or something, and Sakiko-kun…you know? Who the hell cares where he is.”

Emiko agreed wholeheartedly.
End filler page.

As one should expect, the time following the event in which Emiko and Miyuki learned that they had been chosen (so dictates the title of this story) in accordance with a questionable prophecy to ‘kick some evil guy’s ass’ ought to have been spent planning. First and foremost, the two young strangers to the land would need to be taught the ways of this new, foreign world which – by pure happenstance – was filled with people that spoke the same language that they did. Then, of course, would be to plot how this motley group of a whopping four people intended to ‘kick some evil guy’s ass’ when he obviously had his own motley group of around four thousand people intending to prevent them from doing such.

Oh yes, his military. That’s what it was called.

At any rate, this is what one would expect of such a situation. Of course there would also be much for Emiko and Miyuki to think about (well…Miyuki, anyway) since they happened to be mere 15 year old girls who had suddenly been called upon to save the entire world. Convenient timing or not – death by fire is never pleasant – being suddenly ripped from your home and placed into another would take its toll on any normal, level-headed person.

Then, there was the matter of whether or not they could trust the words of two complete strangers-

“Hey, are you about done?” Emiko yelled at the SC, flicking her lighter open and shut impatiently. “Cause I wanna finish this ‘save the world’ crap before my parents find out I’m gone. And that I burned the house down. Again.”

“Emi-chan, we don’t have any parents.” Emiko stared blankly at Miyuki. “They died, remember?” Blank stare. “A few years ago?” Blank stare. “In a ‘mysterious’ fire incident?”

“Oh, yeah.” A sinister grin spread across Emiko’s face. “That was cool…What were we talking about again?”

Miyuki sighed heavily, “Just the plot, nothing important.”

“Okay.”

Everyone fell silent, but fortunately no one was injured.

Sakaki stared expectantly at Emiko and Miyuki. Emiko stared questioningly at Miyuki. Miyuki stared petulantly at Emiko. Nariko stared dismally at her tax return. Her tax return couldn’t stare and thus felt rather left out. Slowly but surely they all turned their various gazes skyward to glare at the SC, whose brain was nowhere to be found. An awkward and unbearably boring silence wafted through the air like discharged gas, and the characters promptly blanched at the metaphor chosen to describe the silence.

“What the hell do we do now?” Miyuki asked, wondering if they had already lost favor with the SC so quickly…Which they had, as the SC had become rather absorbed with writing sub par fanfiction.

Emiko became livid, even though she wasn’t sure what ‘livid’ meant. “Damn it, Miyuki! Why the hell do you keep cursing! It’s bad, damn it, so quit doing it!”

“I will kill you one day,” Miyuki replied. She need only wait for the right time when she had the proper instrument: The Ultima Spoon.

“Why thank you! I have been working out more often!” It was a lie, of course.

Despite the SC giving less than subtle hints at the beginning of the chapter on what course of action SHOULD be taken, silence overtook the four comrades-

“Comrades?” Emiko protested. “I barely even KNOW these two fruitcakes!” Nariko and Sakaki looked understandably offended.

…silence overtook the four companions-

“No, that doesn’t sound right either,” Emiko interrupted yet again.

Just then, a nearby tree suddenly fell over and crushed Emiko into a bloody-

“Comrades is good,” Emiko squeaked out, eyeing the nearby foliage suspiciously.

ANYWAY, silence overtook the four-

“I’ve just had an epiphany!” Nariko announced.

Emiko made a face, “Eww…do that in the bathroom.”

They had only known Emiko for less than a chapter, yet Sakaki and Nariko already knew that it was best to ignore her. “We must find…the Plot Fairy! Only then will we be able to continue on our quest of utmost coolness!”

The SC shrugged as her capacity to care had flown straight out the window the moment she had started slamming her head into the nearest wall…which had been around the time that Nariko had an epiphany.

“Sounds like a filler arc to me,” Sakaki muttered.

“Like, duh!” Nariko flipped her hair. “You, like, can’t have a filler arc when you didn’t, like, have any arc to begin with. And, like, hello! This is a manga not an anime. You don’t, like, have filler arcs in the manga because it’s, like, the manga. Get with the program!” The rest of the main characters pondered Nariko’s personality fluctuations, quickly deciding that her quirk could be Multiple Personality Disorder – which was ironic since her brother had No Personality Disorder.

Emiko promptly elbowed Miyuki, “I’m starting to think (no snickering, please) that this is supposed to be some sort of parody,” she stage whispered loudly.

“No,” Miyuki stated dryly, “it couldn’t possibly be.”

“Well, if you say so Miyu-chan.”

“I was being sarcastic.”

Emiko looked quite disgusted, “Too much info, Miyuki. I did not need to know that.” Quite abruptly her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. “Hey, what do you mean we don’t have any parents?” For the sake of getting the hell on with it, Emiko was promptly knocked unconscious for the rest of the chapter by Miyuki’s Omega Spoon.

After returning the sacred utensil to her pocket, Miyuki turned to the befuddled siblings. “So where is this dumb Plot Fairy supposed to be?”

“That is the trouble, for the Plot Fairy has no permanent state of residence,” Nariko responded placidly, tilting her head to one side, “for the Plot Fairy is a creature of great mystery and often lives in solitude. Many seek out the Plot Fairy, yet few succeed because only those worthy of seeking guidance from the Plot Fairy are those with strong hearts that continue to persevere in their search for the Plot Fairy can ever hope to…”

“Don’t care, how do we find the damn thing?”

Nariko blinked blankly (which is fun to say out loud) tilting her head even further. “Ask around?” Miyuki glanced around the surrounding area, seeing nothing but trees, shrubbery, and a drooling Emiko lying on the ground.

“Um….”

Nariko stomped her foot on the ground, huffing impatiently. “Not here, dumbass! GAWD!” Miyuki flinched at the strange woman’s abrupt personality switch. “The village, duh! Gawd, you tourists are so dense! It’s over here, retard,” she ordered, storming off in a nondescript direction and muttering incoherent, censored words under her breath. Shrugging, Miyuki trailed after the storming woman, pondering how the word ‘storming’ came to be associated with how a person walked.

Sakaki, the Forgotten One, turned to follow but stopped when he noticed that a certain main character was still lying unconscious on the ground. “Um…shouldn’t we bring her with us? Or something?” Miyuki groaned, wondering how ethical it would be to leave her out in the middle of the newly redrawn forest with various foreign animals that found strange foreign girls appetizing. She tried not to smile at the pleasant thought.

An anomaly occurred, for Emiko awoke before the chapter had reached its end. She stormed angrily up to Sakaki and kicked him solidly in the groin. Needless to say, he was no longer standing. “Don’t you dare show concern for me again, or I’ll kill you.” Emiko glared down at the poor writhing man. “You will be gay, and you’ll like it!” She turned away worriedly, wringing her hands while Sakaki tried not to pass out from the pain.

‘Oh no! He’s already starting to show concern for me! This is bad…if we don’t finish saving the world soon he might…No! It’s unthinkable! The SC would never do that to me!’

“Uh, Emi-chan?”

‘No, she’d never do that to me, her most absolute favorite character! I mean, she might do something like that to a secondary, unpopular character like Miyu-chan but never me!’

“Emiko?”

‘But then again…I am the main character, and that’s what always happens to the main characters, isn’t it? Boy meets girl, boy and girl tragically fall in love even though they could never possibly be together and the boy looks like a girl and the girl is either manly or even more girly than the boy is…’

“Emiko!”

‘That settles it! I must convert Sakaki, before it’s too late! I don’t have any other options…unless, he were to die tragically…or I could die tragically…No, I like the first one better. But how could I tragically kill him?’

“…Oh look, a butterfly.”

Emiko promptly snapped out of her so-called thought process and brandished her lighter. Not bothering to actually confirm a target, she immediately committed arsony upon the entire forest and effectively wiped out the entire landscape that the SC had so painstakingly drawn (this is a manga, remember?) along with the entire butterfly population. Her job done, and the three spectators sufficiently horrified, Emiko turned towards Miyuki.

“Lemon Pie!” She announced, flashing a victory sign.

“Please never reference the filler pages again.”

“Yes, I am clever, aren’t I?”

Miyuki, pointedly ignoring Emiko’s bizarre response, wordlessly pointed to a plain white box floating next to her so-called friend’s head, her recent scheming against Sakaki displayed within it for all the world to see. “I warned you about interior monologues, Emi-chan.” She was thoroughly ignored.

“STALKER BOX!” Like the entire forest, the box was done away with via Emiko’s lighter. “Miyuki! We have to burn our house down, again!”

Miyuki sighed heavily. “We don’t have a house anymore, Emi-chan.” A blank stare was all she received from Emiko, which was a pretty lame thing to be given. “You set it on fire last chapter?”

“Oh, yeah. That was cool….What were we talking about again?” Emiko suddenly frowned. “Wait, didn’t we already do this? And what do you mean we have no parents!?”

“Can I kill her yet?” Miyuki asked the SC.

The SC nodded her approval.

Another filler page abruptly appeared.

“Aw, damn it!” Miyuki cursed angrily at not only having been delayed in her ultimate dream of killing her only friend, but also being stuck on a filler page. “This better not be a stupid omake…I can only imagine how horrible that would be.”

Emiko promptly bounced out of nowhere. “Nope, even better than eggs!”

“Eggs? I said omake not omellete…”

“We have FAN LETTERS!” Emiko announced, dumping a pile of letters on the ground.

Miyuki stared blankly at Emiko. “Bull.”

“Where? Where!?” Whilst Emiko was distracted, Miyuki began to sift through the piles of so called fan letters, noticing that they all had rather similar handwriting. She opened one and began to read it.

“Dear SC, this story is great. It sucks that only two people are stalking commenting on it, but at least you won’t have to burn your house down because of it. That Emiko girl is kickass, though. You should give her her own show.” Miyuki paused and cocked an eyebrow before continuing. “But that Sakaki guy has to go. Either that, or turn gay. Or maybe die tragically…or just die regularly. Or maybe he could divorce his sister and fall in love with her. That would be cool.”

She discarded it, reading the next letter.

“Dear Emiko, you kick ass and are the best main character ever. Way better than that stupid Miyuki. And that Sakaki guy looks like a sissy and he should totally die real soon.”

Miyuki tossed the letter aside and, against her better judgement, picked one up that was addressed to her.

“Dear Miyu-chan, stop with the damn cursing already!”

Grumbling, Miyuki crumpled up the letter and wondered if the SC would consider killing her off out of pity. The object of the girl’s annoyance, unfortunately, returned. “I don’t know WHAT you’re talking about, Miyuki, I couldn’t find those eggs ANYWHERE.” Emiko’s eyes suddenly widened in shock when she saw the discarded mail that had been addressed to her. “Miyu-chan! How could you do this to me? I thought we were friends! Fan mail is a very private matter you know!” She cradled the opened letter in her arms, glaring suspiciously at Miyuki.

“Emiko, you wrote all these letters.”

“…Did not.”

“They all have the same handwriting.”

“…Nuh uh.”

“You wrote down your name as the sender!”

“And, the receiver,” Emiko pointed out. “You, woman, have tampered with my mail and are lucky that I’m not taking you to court.”

“Can I PLEASE kill her now?” The SC gave her consent and the deed was done. Unfortunately, since this is a filler page, Emiko could not truly die.

Miyuki wept.