I don’t know why I do anything anymore,

A day to me might as well be an hour.

There’s no one here except me,

(And the select few who brush past me).

And I lie away from all else, and sink down,

In a fortress of myself and the world just for me.

Lashes brush my cheeks lightly,

Displacing a disarray of freckles scattered.

Shying away from the existence I’ve placed myself in,

(Once it lied to me and told me it was easy).

And though the shock is horrific every time I surface,

It’s like being kissed conscious,

Or savoring the flavor of caffeine in early hours.

I find myself revived and reassured,

(Like things aren’t so bad anymore).

And if I told you how to get there...

Would you say the magic incantation three times over?

Maybe, if I taught you the way to say them,

They’d learn how to roll off your tongue.

Would you capture this hand of mine,

Made solely of bones and frost?

And place it into your own,

Or press it against your perfect smile?

You dare mutter the word “angel”,

As a replacement to my name.

But enlighten me, would you,

Teach me how to stand that tall?

Or how to see my wings in an emulation,

Instead of the repulsive child that taunts me.

If I asked would you teach me how to breathe?

Kiss my lips and observe my attempts to inhale,

And ignore the coughing and sputtering,

As it’s something I need to return to the habit.

Could you do this for me if I asked?

Help me free myself from my shackles and scars,

And smolder down the ramparts of my cage?

All I’m asking is for you to wake me up.

Push me down and tell me I’m wrong for once.

Brush your palm against my face,

Or kick me back in line.

Conquer me violently, darling,

So I can stop believing my own mendacity.

All I’m pleading for is to know what it’s like to be…

ALIVE…

For once.