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An experiment in script-writing. I may continue it beyond this point, but given the nature of this "story", don't expect it necessarily to be in order. The next update will prolly be something random and unrelated.
What you, the reviewer, can do for me: Suppose for a moment that you are a manga/webcomic/whatever artist. How would this script be to work with? Is it coherent? What are some good scripting practices for me to follow? How does one generally go about writing a script? Any comments you have in regards to actual occurrences outlined here should come secondary to useful advice about scripting in general.
Scene: a vast, finely wrought palatial chamber. A crescent moon shines in through a high, arched window, partially illuminating an enthroned figure in the darkness. His head rests in one hand, as though bored or melancholy. His face is obscured, except for his mouth and chin. He appears to be looking out at the night.
MAN: So this is what it feels like.
Scene: flashback. A palace corridor, slender greave-clad feet running. Partial zoom-out; many feet running, all figures are wearing banded armour and flowing robes. Clearly nighttime.
Scene: returns to present, but deceased figure partially visible lying in pool of blood. Enthroned figure still in central focus.
MAN: Yes … now that I think about it, all of this … began back then.
Scene: running figures are elves. The foremost elf, FALZAER wears no helmet, and his eyes are narrowed with murderous intent.
FALZAER (thinking): Almost there…!
Scene: returns to present, but close-up of enthroned figure. Face still concealed, but large black-feathered wings are visible behind his shoulders, fading into the indistinct darkness.
MAN: Or, perhaps it was before that. Actually, everything that came before was leading up to this moment—but still, back then is where it begins for me.
Scene: FALZAER and eight SOLDIERS reach a large, intricately worked metal double-door.
FALZAER (thinking): This is it!
FALZAER grits his teeth, visibly preparing himself for what lies ahead. He snatches a shard of crystal from his belt.
FALZAER: Stay behind me until it’s done!
SOLDIERS: Yes, Lord Telthurin!
FALZAER thrusts his fist forward, clutching the crystal, in a forceful gesture. Blood drips between his fingers.
FALZAER: Conquassáte iānuae!
Scene: returns to present.
MAN: Back then, that long-dormant struggle began anew.
Scene: metal doors shattering inwards. Zoom progressively towards interior of throne-room, LATHARAS is ascending a round dais towards the throne, with priests attending him. The priests are felled by dozens of arrows, and LATHARAS turns with a dour expression.
LATHARAS: You’re later than I expected, Falzaer.
Scene: present.
MAN: Destiny was finally set in motion.
Scene: SOLDIERS draw slender blades and move ahead of FALZAER. LATHARAS has an ominous aura.
LATHARAS: You believe yourself so grand … but you are no king, little brother.
FALZAER (to SOLDIERS): Go, kill him!
SOLDIERS leap forward and attack.
FALZAER: Latharas!
Scene: past and future superimposed on one another.
FALZAER/MAN: One king will supersede another!
Scene: present.
MAN (thoughtfully): …was it?
Scene: SOLDIER 1 and SOLDIER 2 are killed in an instant. LATHARAS is holding a slightly curved sword, standing serenely. He lowers his stance, poised as if to leap into a dance.
LATHARAS: Come, fallen subjects—face me with bared steel!
LATHARAS thrusts forward, skewering SOLDIER 3. There is a manic gleam in his eyes.
LATHARAS: Follow in step of the dance of death!
Impaled SOLDIER 3 coughs up blood, his eyes widened in surprise. He looks down at LATHARAS and snarls, gripping the blade stuck through his abdomen with one hand, and slashing at LATHARAS with his sword. LATHARAS ducks attack, and SOLDIER 4 and SOLDIER 5 approach quickly from behind, swords raised. LATHARAS rotates his body as they strike, kicking SOLDIER 5 in the chest and hurling him from the dais; SOLDIER 4 inflicts a shallow cut on him even as his sword twists lethally in the gut of SOLDIER 3. LATHARAS withdraws his sword in an arc, cutting through the body of SOLDIER 3 and letting it fall, and parries SOLDIER 4.
LATHARAS (derisively): Is this all you could muster, brother?
