Dear Ten-Year-Old Self,

This is your wiser, cuter, taller self writing you, so listen up, shrimp! Here's some advice that you really need to hear to perhaps change the future. First of all, get working on that goddamn novel! It's taking you long enough already! In fact, right now you're nearly 20 years old and you don't have a single published work all to yourself. Instead, you've been published in a piss-ant poetry book that's full of crappy poems. You suck, get to work!

Also, you need to kick it into high gear as far as being popular or a least cool. You're nerdy and you still are, even after all these years. You like nerds for crushes, which is good because most of them will grow up to be rich, but you need to look more artistic and less like a thrift-store, hand-me-down loser! This is going to give you horrible self-esteem in high school and you're going to become a demeaned whiner.

Also, learn to stick up for yourself. Everyone is going to push you around and manipulate you. Just stop being such a tool and a moron. Remember those people you hated in high school? Get a little stronger and then punch all of them in the face. Just not enough to get arrested. Just wail on them, very hard. That'll shut 'em up. After all, once you turn 18, you'll never have the pleasure of hitting anyone in the face. Believe me, you'll be sad.

Another problem you'll have to face is love. You keep having crushes on all the men who become your friends. Damn it, stop it. Thankfully you're going to stop it regardless at the age of about 16, but still, you suck. You need to try and discern true love from the want to be popular by having a boyfriend or being lonely. Being lonely isn't exactly presented as the greatest thing, but trust your wiser self when I say that you should fall in love with being single, not another human being. People are often traitorous, heartbreaking, lying, hypocritical scum. You'll probably be a little hypocritical as well, but since everyone else does it, it seems like you have a right to it as well. Also on the topic of love, if you're not happy, do something about it. Wallowing in misery has made you bitter and hateful. It will probably be a long long time before you bother finding another boyfriend or even fall in love. Too many people hide their true colors, so only make friends and acquaintances, not actual love interests.

As a final note, you need to stop being such a damn wuss and get it together. Your life is unsure after 18 because the college of your dreams turned you down. I'm taking the initiative to try and transfer in from this crappy little community college, but you better fix this and get in the first time. Build a real portfolio! Make real art, not crap!

This is all I have to say to you, but you best as hell had better listen. I mean it, because if this letter reached through the stream of time, then my fist can, too. Stop sucking and everything will be alright.

Harsh love always,

Your older, smarter self.