(03/11/07) Yes, for the past 3-4 weeks, I’ve been banned from the PC for reasons in which I don’t feel like recalling as it’s in the past, along what my mom and I FINALLY stopped arguing about for the past eight freakin’ months, the bickering having stopped three days ago.

Now, I intended to write this when I’m older… Like about being 19-20 (note on what I said on my profile). But I might as well get a head start on this as A) I’ve managed to get on this comp since my mom’s at work… Yes, I’m sneaking on (Shot) and, B) I need to get my mind off of this writer’s block, especially when I STILL need to rewrite/re-edit YnH for the third damned time already.

Yes, I still intend to continue on writing YnH as it is my first project and, therefore, my first priority to finish writing before any other manga projects I write up. Of course, I still need to edit Fragments II-V. And I still have an unfinished document of Fragment VII that I need to finish. (Facepalm) Oy, what a lot of work.

I don’t intend to update this weekly… More like monthly or so do to the circumstances Mom banning me and I’ve been busy with school and other things. That and I need to recall memories that will be put into this story as this will be based on something that’s happened to me for a while…

And I don’t see others, nor shoujo anime/manga creators, having used this for a romance plot device so far, so I’ll go ahead before anyone else thinks up of the idea and steals it…

Though I’ve a funny feeling why they decided not to use it due to the difficulty of writing such a plot… I’m still taking this chance, anyway.

Enough of my babbling, let it begin.

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Unmei no Akai Ito

Prologue

Believing

(“Distance is just a test to see how far love can travel.” –Anonymous)

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People say this was not easy to maintain. People say that we weren’t going to last. People asked me why I am involved in a relationship that is considered taboo by the majority, which holds a lot of standards above it than what people call the “traditional relationship.” And up to now, they still do tell me…

“Why are you working so hard for a relationship that’ll obviously fail?”

“Forget him, he’s not worth it.”

“You guys… You really did meet that way?”

“What if he cheats on you? What if he moves on and finds another girl?”

“Oh? I don’t believe you for even having a boyfriend… Are you sure you have one? Or are you just lying?”

“Don’t you hate being in a relationship like this? I don’t mean to say that you don’t love him… But don’t you hate being in such a relationship…”

My feelings haven’t waned. My feelings for you haven’t changed at all, they just keep on rising, and this distance won’t have me hold back from them… Every day, my love for you is growing stronger and stronger, the miles between us nonexistent.

But, on some days, the loneliness swells in my heart, more so if it’s at times when things go bleak. You’re not here with me is why. We have our own separate lives and our own issues to deal with, but when I need you most, it hurts. Every day, I always have to face the fact that you’re not here because you’re far away from me…

Every day, there is a nagging reminder that tells me that we’re not going to work just because of this distance and what occurs in our lives that we’re not physically together in. Every day, there the usual dipshit(s) who told us, with the sneering tones and the looking at the cons of this relationship, that it wasn’t going to work and I’m going to end up hurt. And every day, God forbid, I try not to go be driven by enraged insanity by seeing stupid, teenybopper couples (with the exception of a few who’ve proven to me that their love is genuine) going on with their stupid Public Displays of Affection.

Is it a punishment to love someone who is far away? Is it a sin to go to that place and find someone you love in it just because the relationship itself is what people call it, “unreal?”

Well, excuse me for not going with what people call the “normal relationship.” Excuse me for being in a bond that focuses more onto the emotional and mental aspects rather than just the physical part. This is why I hate the normal way of this subject since it’s all about looks and sex most of the time. And thanks to that, love is a word that’s been thrown around for quite a while, and is the one way ticket to get laid. This also gives them a privilege to be an asshole/bitch.

A boyfriend—or a girlfriend—isn’t someone that you have as an accessory to complement the image and reputation you hold. A boyfriend or girlfriend is someone you accept for who they are wholeheartedly and someone you like spending time with. But, from what I am seeing, it’s rare to find such unconditional love, especially when it comes to high divorce rates and people cheating.

I want to believe that love is still in the world… I want to believe that I’ve been given a chance to give someone my love without hesitating instead of thinking that it’s a punishment being with my boyfriend JUST BECAUSE it doesn’t fit other people’s ideals. I’m not saying it that it is a transgression because my boyfriend is the person I love most and I cherish him more than anything as a very precious person to me; I’m saying it that it feels like everyone around me thinks it’s not right for me to be in such an association. A lot can’t see how such a connection is made through what they call, and through sneering superiority, “Through wires and text.”

Despite all of this… I don’t regret anything.

And I am not sorry.

I don’t regret being with my boyfriend or being in the loving relationship we have. I am not sorry to those who think that it is a mistake nor am I sorry for meeting him on the Internet. Why should I apologize for being with the person who makes me very happy? Why should I even ask for forgiveness for being in a long-distance relationship?

So…

This is a story of a love that happened by chance, perhaps fate, but the two people didn’t intend to find true love through the Internet, especially when the two had been involved in other relationships through the Web. Feelings were kept hidden, indecisiveness and fear and tension courses through, drama unfolds, and tears are to be shed. Though, in spite of all of this, happiness and laughter abound, keeping the relationship shining brightly of its authentic purity.

But even though the two lovers are far away, they know that it won’t be like this forever. They will not give up finding a chance to be permanently by each other’s sides without having to fly away from each other anymore, without having distance to interfere anymore…

This is their story.

This is… Our story.

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Well, I wanted to submit this on April 1st since that is the third anniversary since my boyfriend and I met through a friend of ours online… It wasn’t just April Fool’s Day back then… And it isn’t now.

Unfortunately, April 1st was also the day my ex and I became a couple three years ago due to a joke having gone all wrong. Blegh.

I’ll submit this again on April 1st as I feel like it’s a more appropriate date… Besides… (Grins) Since nobody thought of this as a romance plot device, in writing and in anime/manga, I might as well take the idea for its originality. It’ll be challenging writing this as I can understand why people seem to avoid writing this sort of thing (due to the difficulty of writing on this subject).

I know I have to update YnH. But this new manga project is to escape from YnH for a while until I am able to write it again since I can’t seem to write anything for it for some reason… Damn writer’s block.

And also, this won’t be in first person throughout the whole story. Since third person is still my weak point, I need to improve on that. I mean I can’t stick to first person forever.

So… Tell me what you think. And there is a reason why I call this story The Red String of Fate…