The strong, strapping young man entered the coffee shop, tracking sloppy puddles of brown slush all over the mopped floor. At first glance Janet couldn’t tell he was strong or strapping, but after he’d removed several layers of clothing and was down to just his pants and undershirt, a quick glance was indeed enough to confirm the strong and strapping description as being true. Janet wasn’t entirely sure what the definition of ‘strapping’ was when pertaining to a person’s appearance, but decided that ‘striking’ was a good bet for the moment.

“Bar wench! Fix me a drink!” was the rugged, manly call that echoed throughout the small shop and Janet wondered if she could slip a dose of cyanide into his drink without him noticing.

“Actually, I believe the technically correct term is ‘Bistro’.” She said, frowning as he flung his wet cloak, jacket, hat and scarf over the nearby padded chairs. The ones that she’d spent thirty minutes scrubbing the coffee stains out of only this morning…

The oh-so-charming customer swaggered over to the counter. “Excuse me? I’m sorry did you say something?”

Janet frowned, took a deep breath and-

“My, what exquisite, enchanting eyes you have! They’re positively charming!”

-gritted her teeth. “Would you like to order something Sir?

“Well…” -he buffed his nails against his well-developed pecks before holding them in front of his face for inspection- “I must admit I have a rather great fondness for green tea, it’s the choice of a gentleman don’t you know!”

“Do you always speak with exclamation marks?” Janet murmered.

“Sorry, what were you saying?”

“No. I didn’t know. Would you like to order some cookies or cake with that tea?” she asked, trying not to snap or roll her eyes, jobs with flexible hours were hard to find.

“Well, I suppose I could be convinced to order such scrumptious treats if you would do me one small favor?”

Janet knew accepting would be a mistake. “Yes?”

“I would be greatly honored if you would accept my hand in marriage.”

Janet blinked. Blinked again. Blinked a third time.

“Excuse me?”

“I would find it highly gratifying if you would accept my offer of marriage.”

“Well actually-“

“Splendid!”

“To be honest I don’t-“

“How about next week?”

“I’m afraid I can’t.”

“What? Why on earth not? How could you possibly refuse such an offer?”

“Well, it might be because you’re an incorrigible idiot who believes that the world revolves around your miniscule perception of it!” Janet steamed, “but it probably has to do with the fact that I like girls.”

“Um…”

Smirking, Janet reveled in the fact that for once, the annoying interloper didn’t have anything to say.”

“I’ll, uh, just be going then.”

And just like that, he did.

Much to Janet’s disgust however, he left behind a little something to remember him by.

“I just cleaned those chairs!”