A/N: Okay the formating is wierd. Every time you see That is supposed to symbolize a blank space. So if you saw the following word ( ) (w) ( ) (k) (e) there would be a good chance the word would be Awake or Awoke. They used to be simple underscores but FP can't recognize those.

Fill In the Blank

“( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) ”

Sometimes she felt the little bits of fluff tickle the back of her neck. She didn’t know if it was a word, but she thought, “niggle,” seemed appropriate adjective, or maybe it was a verb? It was just that little bit of ticklishness that preceded the goose-bumps. It was the goose-bumps that preceded the chills.

“Why do I feel this way,” She would wonder. She would walk home to her small Single that served it’s function as a dwelling if only sparingly. Nightly, she slept there, but if you were to look in on the average looking billet you would see. You would know. This place was not lived in.

When she would lay in bed, quiet and balancing on the narrow ledge of consciousness, she would feel it. She would feel it as her thoughts drifted into the imaginings, into the future. She would travel from the now into the “what could be.”

And in Her mind it was always the same. Everything was cold, not the kind you associate with blue, with ice, but cold like gray. A monochrome existence that was so sterile and flat. Even her dreams were empty. It was like she couldn’t even imagine being happy.

She pretended well enough though. Sometimes she felt it, the niggle, when she would go to work. She would pretend to be happy when she made small talk right before she hopped into the parking lot booth. She felt that flutter in her stomach when ever she thought they might catch her in the act of deception. She didn’t know whether it was relief or disappointment when she realized they didn’t care enough to actually see through her.

So, she would sit alone in her booth, watching people her age drive by with their cars and fresh crisp twenty dollar bills. It was a simple enough transaction, ticket given, money taken, bar raised, and another person who didn’t care about her, would say, “Have a good day.” She’d smile, pretend again, she’d feel the flutter again.

She would wonder, “Is this it?”

And as far as she knew that was it. That was all there could ever be.

“( ) ( ) ( ) (e) ( ), ( ) ( ) ( ) (e) ( ), & ( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) (e)”

Every day he woke up. Every day it felt the same. He would be exhausted from too little sleep, too little time for himself. Every day it happened. Every day he felt the same things. It was wearing, wearying. It was repetitive and redundant. It was an Every day occurrence that drove him nuts. It was his routine and until he could find the energy to care, he was stuck with it.

And so he would drag himself out of bed, put on his clothes, and get ready for the day. He would rub his eyes until the lights didn’t kill him. He would rub his neck until his shoulder didn’t ache, funny how those two were related. He would shower to make his body clean, and brush his teeth to make his mouth clean. Then he would forget the time, which would make him forget about the lights that killed him, the shoulder that ached, and just how clean his hair and teeth and whatever else might be.

He would rush out the door past the neighbor with the cats (that weren’t supposed to be there, by rule of the landlord), the empty apartment that had housed the nice couple (who apparently weren’t supposed to be there, by the rule of the INS), and the sweet girl and her roommate (who he suspected wasn’t supposed to be there, by rule of the landlord, and her parents).

He would head down the stairs, turn a corner, head down more stairs, turn another corner, then stumble down more stairs, 4 floors worth of that. He’d never tested it but he suspected the elevator was faster, but he wanted to keep in shape for… some reason.

Even through all this he felt detached, uninterested. As he hopped into his car he barely paid attention. He drove to school, searched for a spot in a lot across the street from his building, and pulled the backpack that had sat idle in his car all night onto his shoulders.

Sometimes he would sit and listen, sometimes he would sit and not. It usually didn’t matter. Sometimes he would put his head down, close his eyes. Sometimes it felt like the only time he really got his rest was in the middle of class. Then at the end of class he would pack his books and supplies up and return them to the passenger seat of his car where they would sit until the next day. Then he would walk to the convenience store and gas station a mile away.
Some days he worked, just a nameless (he had forgotten his name tag at home again) clerk at a convenience store. Some days he worked. Everyday he went to the store and punched in, but some days he worked. Other days he just leaned. Leaned and sighed, then he would punch out and return to his apartment.
He took the elevator on the way up, going down stairs was easy in the morning, and it matched his sinking feeling. On the way back, however, he never had the energy to fight gravity on his own. He never could do much of anything on his own. Every day he woke up on his own, all on his own.

“(M) ( ) ( ) ( ) (e) ( ) - (M) ( ) (m) (e) ( ) ( ) ”

One day he broke his routine, though not quite on purpose. He’d still woken up, gotten ready, and headed down the stairs. Nothing unique happened until he tried to find a place to park at the lot across the street from his school. It was full, it happened from time to time. It would occur especially, it seemed, when one was already running late, as he was.

He relented and decided to just park in the overpriced ramp a few blocks away. It was back on routine after that. He would get to school where he sat quietly until dismissed. Then he walked to work, or more accurately lean, where he’d forgotten his nametag in his car this time. Then he went to head back home.

Except today he made a mistake. He’d forgotten he’d parked in the ramp instead of the lot, and he’d forgotten that the lot had hourly prices. He had been parked there all day instead of moving it after class. And what’s worse he remembered, as he was headed towards the pay booth, he had much less cash than was acceptable.

As he pulled up and rolled down his window he wondered what he should do. He was not struck by lightning, nor did any light bulbs magically flicker on. He plastered on a smile for the pretty girl inside the booth and simply said, “Hi,” with a guilty tone as he handed her his ticket.

“Hello,” she murmured, “Ten hours. Fifteen dollars,” she stated as she ran the ticket through her machine.

“Umm I have like five dollars and,” He reached his hand into his pocket to search for more money, “like seventy three cents.” He offered his wrinkled five, two quarters, two nickels, one dime, and three pennies to her pathetically. He glanced up at her ashamed. “I’m so sorry.”

She just looked at him a bit awkwardly, which made him feel that much worse. Then she reached into her own pocket and uncrumpled a limp ten dollar bill. She handed him back his two quarters, two nickels, dime, and three pennies. Then she shook her head and hit the button that swung the arm bar up.

He sat there for a second, completely embarrassed. “I have money,” he quickly stammered, “Just… no cash.”

“No, I get it.”

“I’ll pay you back!” He felt terrible when he heard her dismissive, near pitying, tone.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s okay.” She said.

“No, it’s not. Umm, look what’s your name?” He asked as he half swung around in his seat and grabbed for something, anything, he could give her.

“Elli?” She said in a way that made it seem like a question.

“Okay Elli, I will come back tomorrow and pay you back. My name is,” He held out his nametag that had been under the passenger seat, “Steven. I swear I’ll come back for this okay? I’ll pay you back then.”

She took it slowly with a quizzical expression on her face, but before either of them could say anything the car that had been behind Steven honked its horn. He sped of thoroughly embarrassed, but tossed a quick, “Thanks,” over his shoulder.

After helping out the next impatient motorist Elli looked at the nametag. Steven, who worked at the Quick Stop, which was just about 7 or 8 blocks away, had taken her dinner for the night. She’d feel it later, and she’d probably never see him again, but what did it matter. After she got off work she pinned the tag onto her book bag and began her walk towards class.

She stayed as quiet as ever in class and nobody commented on her new accessory. For awhile during class she got distracted. She just aimlessly toyed with the tag, both with her fingers and in her head.

After her night classes finished up Elli began her trek home. She broke her regular trail though and swung around by the Quick Stop. She didn’t really know why, it’s not like he’d be there; he’d probably already worked that day. Either way she sort of just browsed the aisles. She didn’t have any money to buy anything anyway.

In the end she just walked up to this middle aged woman with an ugly face, and an uglier demeanor and pushed the nametag to her along the counter. “Um I found this, and I just thought I’d give it back.” She mumbled.

“Huh? Oh okay.” The woman, Jan according to her nametag, took it, opened a drawer, and popped it in. The drawer had at least a dozen nametags in it as far as Elli could see.

Elli just set her jaw and walked off, six blocks out of her way.

The next day she didn’t catch a glimpse of him.

“( ) (e) (l) (a) ( ) ( ) (e) & (A) ( ) ( ) (l) ( ) ( ) ( ) ”

She had early classes that day. He worked late. She felt shyer than ever. He felt more withdrawn. Every car she’d seen approaching, she had half hoped was his. He had been late again, for both school and work. She felt disappointed as she left work. So did he.

She went to class and stayed as quiet as ever. People even tried to get her to open up that day. She didn’t even know what to say. She ran off as quickly as she could after the lecture.

She found herself walking the wrong way again. Further away from her house and closer to the Quick Stop. She didn’t know why, she was actually kind of angry. It was just too easy to lie to her. She hovered outside the doors to the little store. She didn’t quite know what to do, but she walked inside anyway. It seemed that there was only one person inside anyway, a punked out college kid with colored hair pierced lips and everything.

“Hello.” He said in a friendly manner.

“Hi,” She said shortly. She looked at him for a second and then asked, “Does Steven work today?”

“Yeah actually he’s on break right now. He’s been here all day. He’s kind of late getting back though. You could probably stick around and see him.” He gave her a hopeful smile.

“Uh, no that’s alright. Thanks.” She said and started to turn away.

“Okay should I tell him to like call you or give him a message or something?” He gave her a confused look.

“No, it’s okay.” She simply walked out the door. Why had she even come in anyway?

He went to work and stayed as lazy as ever. Except when Jeremy came in to work the late shift with him, he had some fun. Jeremy was a good guy he had decided, no matter how weird he looked. They could both just stand there leaning, and trash talk about their managers behind their backs.

His manager, Jan, earlier had bitched him out for losing his nametag. What a stupid thing to be mad about. He could almost bring himself to care. He just opened up the drawer that had a million blank ones and started to make a new one.

Then he noticed one already had “Steven” on it. He started to wonder where it had even come from.

“Some girl found that, you need to be more careful with company property Steven.” Jan whined.

“Yeah, okay.” He said. But he just stood there and wondered. Why would she come here? He felt terrible that he hadn’t paid her back. A couple hours later he’d worked long enough to deserve a break. So he told Jeremy he was going to go out to eat. Actually he didn’t eat at all during his break. He only had thirty minutes to run 1 mile to the parking ramp and back.

All the stair training in the mornings had paid off though. He made it there in twelve minutes. He glanced at all the exit booths and was disappointed when he didn’t see her. “She probably has a life dummy.” He thought to himself.

Either way he found the ramp office and knocked on the door.

A man with a gigantic stomach and an odd smile open the door. “Hello! What can I do for you?”

“Well, is Elli working today?” He sputtered out.

“She was earlier. You missed her by a couple hours though.” The man chortled which cause his gut to nearly ripple.

“Oh.” He said with a bit of disappointment. “Hey do you have an envelope I could borrow?”

“Borrow or take?” The man asked.

“Um, take I guess, sorry.”

“Oh, no problem.” The man said and flashed his quirked grin. Then he just stood there as if waiting to see if Steven wanted something more.

“Um, an envelope?” Steven prodded.

“Oh right! Sorry.” The man rummaged through the office and returned with the appropriate item. “Here you go. Writing her a letter I guess then?” He asked as he gave it to him.

“Yeah if I leave it with you, you’ll give it to her?” He didn’t know if he should trust the spacey guy, but he didn’t have much choice. He took the envelope put in twenty dollars, grabbed for some scratch paper, and wrote a quick note. He signed it, then slipped that into the envelope as well, and sealed it. Then he wrote “E-l-l-y” on it, and handed it to the man.

“I, son.” The man said as he refused to take it.

Steven just gaped at him, completely confused by his lack of grammar or sense.

“Her name, kid. It’s spelled with an ‘I’ y’know?” The man clarified.

“Oh! Thanks!” Steven said. “I have to go, just make sure she gets it?”

“Oh yeah don’t worry.”

It took Steven 15 minutes to get back to work, he had hit all the wrong crossing lights. Jeremy didn’t seem to care though. As Steven worked through the rest of his shift Jeremy suddenly started. “Hey man! I almost forgot.”

“Yeah?” Steven asked.

“Some chick was in her asking for you while you were on break.”

“Yeah?” He queried again.

“So? What’s up with that? Since when do college chicks ask about you? She didn’t even buy anything. Just came for you.”

“I don’t know really.” Steven said, but he smiled a little bit.

“Oh my god! Does Steven have a Girl? The fuck were you going to tell me?” Jeremy all but snorted as he shouted

“Hahaha,” Steven deadpanned, “Shut up.”

She walked into work the next day, there was a letter taped to her section of the office. It had her name on it, with her name misspelled crossed out next to it. She delicately opened it as if it was a trap or some kind of trick. Inside there was a fresh crisp twenty dollar bill and a little note,

Elly,

I’m sorry I missed you. Thanks so much for my nametag! I work 6 – 11 the next 3 days. Stop by again?

Steven Broughten.

“ C o m p l e t e”

For the third day in a row she walked too far to get home. She didn’t really mind this time. She didn’t feel that tickle at the back of her neck at all. She just smiled, and then walked in through the doors.