A/N: Right. So I know that I have not updated in like... forever... but hey! Guess what! I finally invested in a flash drive so at the very least i ought to be able to get a few more updates up and off of my computer. So yay. I'm excited, I can finally stop feeling guilty and get some stuff up. Oh and in case you have not noticed yet, for those of you who read my Razorblade Kisses Series... I'm taking Tatted Hearts down. I don't like the way I wrote those chapters. The writing style was a new one I was trying out and it, well, sucked major ass. So yeah. HOWEVER! I have started on Kane and Kinley's and should be posting the very first chapter some time this week. I know, you love me. Now read on.

This story is a spin-off of Darkladyknight's CRDP series. Find her, read her stuff and enjoy.

So Into You

Chapter Five

Caleb groaned softly the moment he regained consciousness. His eyes felt as if they had actually been glued shut, his mouth stung whenever his lip moved the slightest bit and there was a bursting pain just between his eyes that reminded the man of a million needles poking repeatedly. His body felt heavy, lethargic and he remembered just why. While he no doubt had the busted lip and black eye from the… temperamental computer hacker, the lethargy and needle-like pain came from a more sever battle. That it was he who had awoken meant he had obviously won whatever battle he had fought with himself, but he recognized the strength of the other last night as well as the cleverness.

Ever the opportunist, the dark side of himself had been given the perfect moment to attack and if the memories flooding his head were any clue, it was getting cleverer. He had yet to meet defeat when it came to the darker side of himself, but he had gotten a small, horrific taste or it the night before. And for the first time in a long time, he wondered if he could continue to hold out the lead over the other. There was imply no help for it – he needed help. He was holding out on such hope that Ran would find a cure even though deep down he knew it was a false hope. The man was right, the only cure for people like him was death. And he wasn’t quite ready to die just yet.

Prying his eyes open he forced himself to blink multiple times against the pain so his lids could get used to the irritation. He sat up slowly and moved his legs over the side of the bed and, testily, he stood. Taking a quick moment to notice the dim interior of his own room, he trotted barefoot to the attached bathroom and saw to his needs before stripping and enjoying a nice hot shower. The water relieved some of the pressure and stiffness from his body but stung the hell out of his split mouth. Still, he decided it was worth it and took his sweet time. He had no sooner brushed his teeth well before he felt a dry parched feeling arise in his throat. When the tickle became more intense, he gave in and dressed in a loose pair of jogging pants and a wife-beater, deciding against shoes, he padded down the narrow hallway and stairs to the kitchen.

He had nearly gotten to the door when a pleasant aroma his nose first and then deadpanned for his belly. Even as he opened the door, it was not Ran he expected to be cooking. Hadn’t the man said he didn’t even bother to eat most of the time? But there he was, a silly apron covering his casual clothing as he slid a diced tomato from the cutting board into a tall steaming pot.

“Aww, honey, you cooked,” his voice was gravelly to his own ears.

Ran, who had been very intent on his thoughts and the soup he was presently cooking, snapped his head up and over in the boy’s direction. He winced as soon as his eyes met Caleb’s bruised face and swollen eyes and mouth. The intense guilt he had felt these past few nights bombarded him all over again. Mate or not, the kid was under his protection and as such, he should have seen to his well being in a more efficient fashion. He had hardly expected such an event to occur, though given Mercer’s demeanor during the experiment, he no doubt should have.

Hell, he couldn’t even blame Mercer for the attack. The man had made it clear that he was uncomfortable with the happenings and when Caleb had possessed Adir he had gotten restless. Ran should have taken better control, he knew, and he no doubt should have waited and used a subject that did not hold such emotional ties with someone present. It was his fault that Caleb had gotten hurt and lost control of something Ran would never have imagined his holding inside. Something dangerous, something the man should have told him about and something he would have to ask the younger man more about.

His voice was low when he muttered, “You should be in bed. You can’t be feeling well.”

Caleb shrugged and helped himself to a bottle of water in the fridge, “I’m sure it looks worse than it feels.”

“Well, it looks pretty damn bad. Do you eat vegetable soup?”

“I would eat anything right about now, so please, tell my aching stomach when we can expect it,” he replied in a cheery voice, but tipped his head to the side as he did so. Ran’s voice was even softer than it usually was, the man seemed more closed off than ever and Caleb began to squirm, thinking he knew just why. He had never once explained to Ran the darker side of Drifter life and, being as the man was doing research at his request, in all fairness he should have. His holding back of the truth could have been disastrous, even if it wasn’t what he meant by holding back such information.

He supposed the reason he didn’t say anything right off was because of the awe Ran had showed upon finding out just what he was. He hadn’t acted with prejudice or even suspicion – something he had no doubt given the man cause to feel now. The younger man had enjoyed the feeling of being briefly understood, of being treated to reaction in response to his own actions, no matter how over-the-top they seemed. Having never truly felt such a way, at least not when one was aware of what he was, it had been refreshing and he didn’t want spoil it.

“A half hour or so,” he paused and opened his mouth again, as if he would say more, but he didn’t and instead continued to stir the mixture within the pot.

“Great. I thought you hadn’t gone into the grocery store in forever?” he tried to make idle conversation, but he knew Ran’s mind.

“You’ve been out for two days, when I checked your vitals they were normal for you, so I figured I’d get it over with before you woke up. No doubt you’re hungry after such an ordeal.”

Caleb thought the gesture was sweet but it annoyed him that the man hadn’t even bothered to turn around to answer him or even look at him. With a sigh, he figured he had better go ahead and get the unpleasantness over with, He hated having tension between him and anyone, but that it was Ran made it all the more uncomfortable. “Why don’t you just ask me and get it over with? He asked in a dull voice of his own.

The older man visibly stiffened before taking his sweet time sitting the spoon to the side and placing the top upon the pot. Slowly, he turned and rested his back against the counter just beside the stove and for the first time since they had first met in the darkness, Caleb noticed those bright yellow slits in the man’s dark eyes. Ran’s stance was agitated even as he remained stone-faced, staring at him with that hard stare that Caleb could only ever receiving when he was locked away in the institutions he had been sent to.

They had taken him to a small room and after injecting a ridiculously high amount of morphine into him, they had sent in another man intent on breaking him. The man had tried for days to get names of other Drifter’s and other powerful paranormal human’s from him, all the while staring at him with steely eyes that gave no hint of anything. Eyes that watched on, feeling nothing as he called the so-called nurses in again and again to drug him up more or worse, to beat some information back into him. It was only when he got into a struggle with his other half after a particularly harsh beating did the man not look at him with those cold eyes anymore. For when he came back to, the fellow had provoked his own death and the darker side of Caleb had went beyond the drugs and possessed him. The man’s insides were flooding from his stomach where he had gutted himself. And while the youth was frightened over how much control he had lost, he was hardly saddened at the death and instead had found a morbid pleasure out of it.

He never wanted Ran to look at him like that. There could be no pleasure in the hurting of Ran or being hurt by him. He wanted to know neither feeling personally and prayed that he never would.

Ran watched the younger man watching him, he wanted to go over and examine him and make sure he was really as okay as he claimed. But he needed to know what he was dealing with and if, after all, having Caleb around would be hazardous to Ran and others like him and the CRDP. “Why don’t you start by telling me what the hell happened the other night?”

Caleb nodded his head and after settling himself upon a nearby stool, he started, “the reason Drifters are so hated and avoided is commonly enough known. You know I can possess people and take them over completely, powers and all. And just that is enough to make the world hate people like me. Most don’t even know the truth and they automatically assume that because some Drifters are bad then we all are.”

“That is a common misconception with all paranormal humans. What makes your case any different?”

The Drifter shot the taller man a glare at being interrupted, but quickly got back to his explanation. “The truth is that all Drifters are bad. It’s like there are two versions of ourselves, one is the proverbial ‘good side’, the other the ‘bad’. We always refer to it as the dark as it always seems to wait in the recesses of our minds for an opportune moment to attack the main person, the good side. It happens often, but most times can easily be restrained and defeated. The dark mostly attacks within me, though often forces me to see outside and very realistic hallucinations that are meant to frighten me into a state where I will be weaker. It only really surfaces through the body when I am being severely attacked or am, emotionally, too vulnerable to fend it off.

What you saw the other night was the former, helped all the more by the fresh transition from my body to little Adir’s and back. I don’t recall what took place after being pummeled and because of that I know you saw something in me that you no doubt shouldn’t have. Something you wouldn’t have seen had certain events not happened. Normally, I have the dark within me very much under lock and key… so,” he paused, biting his lower lip in nervousness, “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

Ran stood from his leaning position and stared hard at the boy. What Caleb had described was something straight from a horror novel and something that sounded, to his rational mind, like schizophrenia. But then to his rational mind, a lot if things he dealt with in a day to day basis made no sense to scientific world but seemed to exist and function all the same. He had no doubt the boy was telling the truth, why lie? It just disturbed him that acknowledging the boy’s words as true meant that the kid was constantly hassled, day after day he was fighting something within him to keep himself alive and foremost in his mind. It was a hell of a way to live; knowing that any failure would result in your disappearance and the rising of an inner evil.

“Why didn’t you tell me this from the beginning?” his voice was stern as he asked.

“I didn’t see where it was relevant to your experiments,” he hedged, not meeting Ran’s eyes. There was no way in hell he was going to tell the man the real reason why.

“You should have. Your irresponsibility in that manner could have cost not only the CRDP their lives, you’re your life as well,” the last came out a little harsher than intended. The mere thought of the other male dying brought a physical ache to him even as his heart seemed to clench tightly. In an effort to ignore these, he continued, “Also, and I had best tell you this now, but there is just no cure for you. Caleb, while you were unconscious I ran more tests on the blood I collected from the possession. There is no cure. Your chemical make-up is that of a Drifter, If I attempt to alter or remove any components then your system will fail. No possible illness should you give the treatment a chance, not mental or otherwise. If you change it you will die.”

Caleb sighed and turned his face away, his hand coming up to shakily run through his hair. “It figures. People like me don’t get that lucky anyway.” Rising from the stool, he turned to leave the room, calling over his shoulder, “I’ll be out of your hair in an hour or so.”

“What?!” Ran shouted in response to that with rising alarm to the boy’s words. He had immediately moved forward as he shouted and gripped the younger man’s arm. At Caleb’s questioning look, he asked, “What do you mean? Why are you leaving?”

The brunette stared at him oddly. A weird but pleasurable sensation creeping up his care arm where the man held his fast. “I have no reason to stay here any longer. You did your thing and you can’t help me. It’s no use staying around and taking advantage of your hospitality anymore; it’ll just bring up a false hope that you’ll stumble upon something. You wont, I suppose I knew that when I came here, I guess I was just tired of all this mess that equals my life.”

Ran hated to hear the sadness and absolute hopelessness creep into the boy’s voice and he truly wished more than anything that he had found a cure. But even with the lack of this ‘miracle cure’ there was no rush for the kid to go. He wasn’t bothering anything, really. And it was obvious that he didn’t really feel that comfortable out in the open, he didn’t think anyway. So why leave?

“You don’t have to go,” he said softly, not sure what to say.

“Yes I do,” Caleb sighed, “I’m like a full-times jinx. It’s not healthy having me around and I wouldn’t want to hurt you in any way, Ran. I know your friends don’t feel comfortable with me and I’m not sure you do. Not with what I’ve just told you.”

“You don’t bother me,” he insisted, trying to find the right words to make the man stay and still the frantic beating of his heart. And it occurred to him; maybe he was fighting this thing too hard. Maybe the kid really was his mate and if he wasn’t, well, what would be so bad about testing his charms and finding out once and for all if they were meant to be?

Caleb squirmed, he knew it was wrong to stay and impose, even though the man had said he didn’t mind. He knew it would probably be different if he told Ran why he had sought him out to begin with, just as he knew that it was unfair of him to keep even more information from the man. But try as he might to push the words out, he couldn’t. Knowing Ran this short period of time, he knew the man would feel an obligation to help him and Caleb just couldn’t risk putting him in any more danger. He could check and fend off himself, but when those men came armed and immune to him, he couldn’t control the outcome and it would kill him it Ran got hurt or worse in the crossfire.

“Stay,” Ran’s voice pushed through his thoughts even as the cat-man hesitantly reached over and took hold of his hand.

The Drifter lost the battle right then. The mere feel of the man’s larger hand in his sent an electric shock throughout his hand and then body. It felt right to be with this man, for him to touch and speak to him in such a gentle and caring voice that Caleb had rarely even heard until he came upon the man. Gripping the other’s hand, he suddenly felt embarrassed of his cheap pursuit of the man now that he felt such a genuine connection. He was now blatantly aware of the flush that covered his cheeks as he nodded and reluctantly pulled free of the man. His hand still tingling with warmth of Ran’s.

Moving back to his seat, he settled down once more and muttered playfully – or at least he hoped his words sounded playful and not as shaken as he felt, “I appreciate the effort, but is that stuff burning?”

He couldn’t help himself and laughed aloud when Ran muttered a curse and rushed over to the pot.