Quick note. People who are extremely religious to the point where God being friends with Satan would bother them: please do not read this. If you want to read it anyway, that’s great and I hope you enjoy it. I just don’t want to offend anyone, and I’ll let you know that I am a Christian and I don’t necessarily believe in what I am writing, it is just a story. I hope others feel the same. 

“I want her to have your eyes.”

“No, no, your eyes are much better.”

“No, I think that a boy could stare into your eyes forever.”

“That’s a bit… odd.”

“Sorry.”

“Now you owe me. She gets your eyes, they’re perfect.”

“OK, brown eyes, but she gets your hair.”

“Why?”

“Because brown eyes and brown hair is too much brown. Red hair is fiery and passionate, and brown eyes are deep and mysterious. It really is a perfect combination.”

“I suppose it is! Aren’t you glad I made you give her your eyes?”

“Yes I am, thank you.”

“You're welcome. Now, how about a name for this little beauty?”

“I like Lucy.”

“Sounds too much like my name. I like Jovy.”

“Jovy? No, it sounds like mine.”

“All right, then how about Devin.”

“That’s a nice name. Wait… why Devin?”

“It’s the only thing I could think of that sounds like Devine and Devil.”

“Ah, very intelligent. I like the way you think, old sport, it’s quite unique.”

“Well, out of everyone to ever exist in any way, I think that I know best how to be different.”

“I quite agree, but please, don’t remind me of that. Those were the bad times, Lucifer, and it was a long time ago.”

“Sorry, mate, didn’t mean it. So… have you found a mother?”

“Of course I have, do you think it’s hard? I do it every day.”

His tone of voice was very casual as he walked over to a small pool and bent over. As his long, dark hair caressed the surface, teals and purples began to swirl in the water. The divine colors parted, and the face of a young woman began to appear.

She was a beautiful girl with blonde hair and hazel eyes. She was lying in bed next to her lover with her arms wrapped around his chest, breathing lightly on his neck.

“I love you.” She whispered, moving her hand up to his head and through his hair, revealing a small, silver wedding band.

“Her name is Jana.” Said Jehovah.

“So, what makes her worthy enough for our little treasure?” inquired Lucifer.

“She has wanted a child for years, ever since she married her husband, Anthony. It was her dream as a child to grow up and have a little girl, and it seems to me that she would love her dream come true as tenderly as she can.”

“Makes sense.”

“Of course it makes sense, I’m God.”

“What, so I can’t make sense?”

“You make sense.”

“Of course I make sense, I’m Satan.”

“Yes, that’s exactly who you are.”

“Either that or the Devil.”

“Why do you get two common names and I only get one?”

“What?”

“People know you as Satan and the Devil. Everyone just calls me God, I only get one.”

“I’m sorry, do you want another one?”

“I don’t know.”

“How about Snark?”

“Snark? What the—“

“Were you going to swear?”

“All right, we got off topic, let’s get back to Devin.”

“Yes, little Dev. She’s going to grow up to be quite the temptation for young boys.”

“She is going to be the definition of pure beauty.”

“What right do we have to define beauty, anyway?”

“Lucifer…”

“Yes?”

“Think about what you just said.”

“What? I’m serious. Don’t people on earth have the right to their own opinion, so they have the right to define beauty?”

“Old sport, I define everything.”

“Good point.”

Lucifer looked down, staring through the clouds to the earth below, searching the globe for something.

“What are you looking for?” asked Jehovah.

“Just someone beautiful.” said Lucifer.

“Why?”

“Because I’m scared, mate.” Lucifer whispered, turning to Jehovah and staring into his eyes. “What if she gets hurt? What if she’s too gorgeous and she gets carried away with all the boys?”

“She’ll be smarter than that.”

“I thought you didn’t control a person’s free will.”

“I don’t. It’s up to them to live their lives, that’s why I create it. I want to see people being happy and living well, that’s why I help them when they pray and guide them to what will be best for them. Just like how I am going to guide Jana to our name, Devin. I cannot make her name the child that, but I am going to put the idea into her head and I’m sure she will love it. If people don’t except my plan, Lucifer, then they are the ones who do not live as well. I can’t control them.”

“Then how do you know she’ll be OK?”

“We’ll be there to help her.”

“We will?”

“Of course. She is special.”

“Like… physical contact?”

“Of course.”

“As in… her personal friends?”

“Of course! Aren’t we always the personal friends of our followers?”

“Do you know how many people want to be personal friends with me?”

“Sorry.”

“But… you’re seriously going to allow me to see her?”

“Of course.”

“Wow… Thank you. Thank you so much! This is the best day of my life. Well… my… do we technically have lives?”

“Nope.”

“Then this is the best day in the history of days. I got to help create a human life, something I’ve always wanted to do, and now I get a personal human contact! These are things I never thought possible, but here they are. They’re really happening.”

“It’s not that huge.”

“You don’t understand, this is big for me. You do this every day, I can’t.”

“I don’t physically see my people.”

“But you talk to them. You talk to them all of the time, and they talk to you. You carry on conversations and have relationships with each and every one of them. Don’t you realize that over half of the people who follow me don’t even care? They do it because they think it is cool and they want to fit in with interesting people. I’m a trend, mate, and no one believes that I really have anything to offer.”

“Hell’s not that bad.”

“No, it’s not! I like it. You wouldn’t have let me have it if it would be that bad.”

“The only down side is that the terrible people have to clog it up.”

“Well, what can you do, there was no where else to go. Besides, it’s my fault I’m not up here, anyway. I don’t mind them so much. I take the good ones and let them roam free and stick the horrible ones, like the murderers, rapists, betrayers and such, you know, the ones that will bother me, in a ditch somewhere.”

“Good plan.”

“Well, now that I’m excited, is it done?”

“No, when should we do it?”

“Tonight.”

“All right.”

A few moments passed as Lucifer stared down to the earth before he looked back up to the face of his companion.

“What?” Asked Jehovah, looking into Lucifer’s puzzled blue eyes.

“That’s it?” He asked.

“Yeah. What did you expect, crazy cosmic swirly… stuff?”

“Well… yes.”

“I do this plenty of times every day and if it had all of that, Heaven would be nothing but crazy cosmic swirly stuff. Too many frills. It’s much easier to do it simply, silently, and with no show whatsoever.”

“I suppose so. You think of everything, mate.”

Jehovah looked at Lucifer and laughed at him then slowly walked away.

“What?” Said Lucifer, following Jehovah, completely confused as to what was so funny about his last remark.