Dearest, internet,

You fail to work,

I feel in need of a pace maker,

A sleeping pill, an ice-cream tub,

Or visit to the baker.

It’s tragic that you, my friend, have stopped,

You do not work, and nor do I,

In a minute it is quite likely I’ll kill my keyboard too,

With an involuntary cry.

The year is 2007,

And the internet, like metaphorical… bread,

A necessity to my life, with a lack of it,

I am quite socially dead.

So come on baby take me to cyber space,

Let me chill a bit with Wikipedia,

It’s not like you can load facts in 20 seconds

With your average encyclopaedia.

And Facebook, oh my, like a brother it is,

And Myspace like a sister that rarely agrees,

I’d rather play Neopets then do nothing right now,

Gosh, storm please reward some sympathy.

What else can I do? Where else can I go?

I’m hungry for megabytes,

My internet career is supposed to be blooming,

So please give me back my internet rights!

Oh reception just come and chill with me,

I’d pay you if you’d take the money,

Because Kim and lack of internet,

They’re getting along kind of funny.

I love thee,

I adore thee,

I’m speaking in Shakespearean for thee,

Please come back to me,

Dearest, internet.