2 A.M.

© KES

He and I sat in silence for five full minutes before my patience ran out.

“Matt, what’s the deal? It’s two-thirty in the god damn morning and I want to know why you insisted I come here. No offense, but driving forty miles to stare at each other isn’t worth it to me,” I glared at him, though I wasn’t as mad as I sounded. It was about freakin’ time for him to talk, and if it wasn’t to Alex, well, I was certainly second best.

He appeared visibly nervous. His eyes wouldn’t meet mine for longer than a second or two, and when he did actually look at me, it was like he completely stopped breathing. The deer-in-the-headlights look was almost amusing, but when I remembered how he had begged me to get out of bed and come see him after working nearly twelve hours, the amusement faded quickly.

He smiled weakly at me. “You know when something seems like a good idea at first and you think you have the balls to go through with it, but when it comes to actually doing it, you freeze and wonder what the hell you were thinking in the first place?”

“Is this hypothetical?”

He shook his head, “I don’t know what to do.”

“Well know that I’m crashing here tonight,” I sighed, sinking deeper into the couch. I could tell it was going to take some serious prying to get him to speak up. I just wasn’t sure that I had the motivation.

“That’s fine,” he said quietly. Silence filled the air again and I was really close to falling asleep when he finally spoke up again.

“Bella,” he whispered, sitting down next to me apprehensively.

“Yes, Matt, I’m awake. Are we going to talk or can I please just sleep?”

“We’ll talk…it’s just hard.”

I opened my eyes slowly, not looking at him. “You’re frustrating me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No you’re not. You enjoy it. You love knowing that I’ll drive all the way out here just to see that you’re okay. You love knowing that no matter how irritated I seem, I’ll stay up all night to help you with whatever’s on your mind. You’re just taking your precious time because you know all of this,” I closed my eyes again, resigned to my fate of a very long night.

“How’d you get to know me so well?” I could tell he was smiling, even with my eyes closed. I could hear the smile in his voice. That suddenly seemed sort of weird.

“I’ve spent the last three months practically glued to you and Alex because you are an idiot with no idea how to act around girls. I’ve picked up on a few things.”

He was silent again. I knew his clear green eyes were on me, but I didn’t want to acknowledge it. Something about the whole situation seemed very off.

“Can we talk about Alex?” I asked suddenly, opening my eyes and sitting up a bit, trying to seem like I meant business.

He looked down, wringing his hands anxiously before nodding slowly. “What about her?”

“Be straight with me, Matt… because I’m getting quite sick of you dancing around this subject every time one of us brings it up,” I glanced at him, waiting for him to agree. He nodded slowly again. “Do you like her?”

“Oh, come on, you know I do,” he said exasperatedly.

“Actually,” I turned to him, boring my blue eyes into his green ones, “all I had was mere speculation. It’s not easy getting an honest answer out of you most of the time.”

“Yes, I like her. She’s a great girl. I love hanging out with her.”

“Then why won’t you date her?” I asked, point-blank. I saw no reason to be tactful at this point. All tact officially leaves my body after two in the morning anyway. No human should be forced to be nice at that point of the day… or night. Or whatever.

He sighed and remained quiet for quite some time, making me suspicious. It wasn’t a difficult question. It seemed like he was just trying to pick the “best” reason. I informed him of this.

“That’s not what I’m doing,” he told me, “It’s just not easy to explain this to her best friend.”

I rolled my eyes, but granted him some leeway. It wasn’t like I was some freak with the tendency to explode at every opportunity, but I was very protective of Alex. Matt wasn’t stupid—he knew that if he said something the wrong way, I would probably get really defensive. I was actually kind of proud of him for considering that by the time he finally gave me his reason.

“I don’t want to ruin the friendship,” he admitted.

I huffed, trying desperately not to smack him, “How clichéd can you get? Seriously? Wake me up when you come up with a more creative way to say that.”

“Bella!” he exclaimed, sounding just as frustrated as I was feeling, “It’s the truth. She’s the best friend I’ve ever had. As much as I like her, I can’t justify possibly ruining the best friendship I’ve had because of some stupid feelings.”

“Stupid feelings? How you feel isn’t ‘stupid,’ stupid,” I glared at him again, “What it seems like is that your feelings for her aren’t as strong as you’re pretending they are, which really makes no sense. Why would you lead someone on when you’re so adamantly against being with her?”

“Because I’m stupid,” he supplied.

“Oh shut up.”

“You called me stupid!” he protested.

“You’re acting it, but you can’t use that as an excuse!” I was almost shouting now, but lowered my voice quickly. “I know you, Matt, and I know you’re not stupid. So please don’t pretend to be to get out of this conversation that you wanted to have.”

Silence filled the room again. I felt like this was going to be yet another completely pointless attempt at trying to figure this aspect of Matt out. Perhaps I was right before—maybe he just doesn’t know how to feel.

“She really is the best friend I’ve ever had,” he said softly, “And maybe you’re right, maybe I don’t like her as much as I let on. I honestly don’t even know anymore.”

“Why not?” I responded just as quietly. Yelling seemed to be doing no good, so I was trying another approach.

He took a deep breath. Internally I knew this was going to be a huge moment; I was unconsciously holding my breath.

“Three months ago, I was so into Alex that I thought I was going to explode. I couldn’t stop thinking of her. I loved having her around. Every time she was over here, I had to practically sit on my hands to stop from touching her,” he paused, glancing at me before looking away quickly, “Three months ago, if she would have said something, I would’ve wanted to start dating…”

“So what’s the problem, what changed?”

“I’m getting to it,” he smiled slightly, “Contain yourself. As I was saying, I probably would have starting dating her…” another giant pause. I was beginning to wonder if they were just for dramatic effect. “Three months ago, you walked into my life.”

Silence. Complete dead silence. I swear I could hear a clock ticking, but the only clock he had was digital. “What are you saying?” I asked so quietly that I was almost inaudible.

But he heard me. He always did.

“I’m saying that I suddenly couldn’t stop thinking of you,” he explained, “It wasn’t Alex anymore… it was completely you. At first, I thought maybe it was just every girl that entered my life, I apparently needed to crush on… but my feelings for you haven’t changed. If anything, they’ve just progressed into something much stronger.”

I was completely speechless. To say I had absolutely no idea was the biggest understatement I’d ever encountered. I had been totally blindsided.

“But… I… how…?” I was unable to form a sentence.

He squeezed his eyes shut quickly before opening them again and I could suddenly see how he felt for me. His eyes were completely open; there were no shadows, no secrets. It was cheesy, but I truly felt like I could see into his soul.

And then, out of nowhere, he kissed me, softly and suddenly.

It surprised the hell out of me.

But what’s worse?

I kissed him back.

END

---

This is just something I wrote a while back that I tried to write a story around, but found that I couldn't... and I think it stands alone well enough. Hope you enjoyed it.