Ten Reasons Not to Kill Natalie Lubbock

A list compiled by Mark Welder

10. I would actually have to have physical contact with Lubbock’s body in order to harm her.

9. I would have to spend a couple hours with her body when I try to bury her.

8. I would be giving up precious hours out of my life to actually commit the crime.

7. People would notice her missing, and it is already well known that I am her number one enemy and that she would be the first person on my hit list, although she would be, in reality, number two on the hit list. Number one is saved for William Jones. Anyway, I would be the police’s first suspect.

6. I don’t want to go to jail. Plus, there’s only a year left that I have to deal with Lubbock… I can wait a year, can’t I?

5. My parents would be disappointed in me, especially mom… She’ll be sad that the whole “Be a good person and ignore someone when they’re being mean” philosophy went unnoticed by me.

4. If I get caught and go to jail, my dreams of becoming a successful mathematician will go down the drain. I don’t think mathematicians are supposed to be murderers.

3. Scary things happen in prison. Enough said.

2. My conscience might bug me about taking a human life, even though it’s Lubbock.

1. Rebecca will not like to date someone who killed her best friend, even though killing Lubbock is kind of like doing a favor to the world, herself included…. Still, Rebecca wouldn’t like it…. And I need to be in Rebecca’s good books if I ever hope to court her one day.

Damn.

(Natalie’s Point of View)

I can’t believe I am going to do this.

Mark Welder was sitting by his cousin Hamilton, laughing with other guys over something Hamilton said. Just looking at him was annoying me…. Being in the same room was already suffocating enough… To actually walk up to the boy and talk to him…? God help me.

Seriously, there has got to be someone else.

I took a deep breath and exhaled before taking a step forward, away from the cafeteria doors where I was standing for pretty much the first half hour of lunch to work up the will power to actually approach Welder….

You already tried to find someone else…. But you have got to admit it now… There’s no one that remotely comes close to him… No one you can trust as much…

My body began functioning somewhat since I came closer and closer to Welder’s lunch table. The twitch in my left eye wasn’t helping matters, but hey it wasn’t noticeable.

Okay, I can do this. I can do this. I can. I just have to put my feet in front of the other, repeat this pattern until I am at his table and then just speak up and ask for a moment alone with the little twerp and just say what I have to say and leave. Simple as cake.

Simple my ass.

Welder looked up from his table with his pals and seeing me, he turned all stony faced. He gave me a look as if to say, ‘Great, the bane of my existence is near. God, die already!’

Well back at you jerk off.

Still despite the animosity, I knew I had to put the feelings behind me. There were important matters at hand and I must swallow my disgust for a moment in order to accomplish a greater good.

Miraculously, I had reached the table, though it took forever. My presence was ignored by Welder, who was probably pretending I was a fly of some sort, just buzzing near him. However, though he was trying to act all nonchalant like I didn’t matter (he was using the usual ‘pretending Lubbock didn’t exist in order to avoid conflict’ approach) I saw immediately how he tensed up. He sat a bit straighter, and though he had a smile on, looking as if he was listening to his friends, I knew he wasn’t really paying attention anymore.

See the thing about Mark Welder is that he was predictable. I swear the boy still acts like he did back in eighth grade. Sure, physically he’s different, what with him being incredibly tall and whatever, but his mind is still stuck in the puberty stage.

I cleared my throat, thinking that it’s finally time to get this over with instead of dragging it out. Again, Welder ignored me, but his cousin Hamilton (who is a very cool guy and is remarkably a good friend. It still surprises me that such a decent male could be related to that stupid cow) noticed me and did that guy thing where he moves his head in my direction to indicate my presence.

Though I was standing beside Welder and I couldn’t really see his face, I knew he sending off messages with his eyes, most likely trying to convey ‘Ignore Satan’ to his cousin, but Hamilton felt it was ungentlemanly to ignore a lady, as right he should.

“Hey Natalie,” Hamilton said, acknowledging me. “What’s up?” By this time the rest of their friends had scampered off, knowing that anytime Welder and I was this close together, something violent would result. Last time they got caught up in it and let’s say it wasn’t pretty. But of course that time involved sharpened pencils that were flying around and a classroom with no teacher supervising. Enough said.

I smiled at Hamilton. “Nothing much. You?”

Hamilton shrugged and flashed me his famous grin that caused most of the girls in our school to melt on the spot. “Can’t complain.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Welder shaking his head. Deep down, I was giddy how just being this close to him caused him pain. It was just fantastic to have this much power.

Of course, his presence sickened me as well, but I won’t get into that just yet. Again, there was business to handle.

“I’m sorry Hamilton, but I have some things to discuss with your mentally incapable cousin. Think you could give us a moment alone?” I asked sweetly. I knew sugarcoating my voice was vastly irritating to Welder, and add that with an insult thrown his way was sure to make his blood boil.

“Hamilton,” Welder said, his teeth grinding together. “If you dare leave me alone with the mother of all evil, I will cut off our family ties permanently.”

“Aw, you’re suppose to threaten him with something horrible Welder, not offer Hamilton something he’s been wishing for ever since he realized he was related to you,” I said.

“Yeah you’re right, but I think that wish falls under his number 1 wish, which is that all ugly females should vanish from this school… Oh wait, you’re still here. Guess God just isn’t feeling generous today.” Welder shook his head, mocking disappointment.

“Oh that was so first grade Welder,” I sneered. “Can’t you do anything better? Try coming up with an insult that’s PG-13 will you?”

“Oh like you’re any better Lubbock!”

I was about to open my mouth with a witty retort, but Hamilton jumped in.

“Okay guys; let’s not start another one of these fights. You guys already had five this week and remember, it’s still Wednesday,” Hamilton said, looking from Welder than to me. “Now, I’m going to leave so just play nice all right?” Slowly he backed away and left us alone.

I was fuming a bit by the insults, a bit ticked off that he got the last word. I stood there, not wanting to look at the cow yet, when Welder turned to me, his eyebrows raised expectedly.

“Well Lubbock?” He asked, not at all nicely. “What you want?”

I decided to take my time answering the idiot as I took a seat across from him, attempting to dust off the surfaces next to me in case his touch was on anything.

“It’s about Rebecca,” I finally told him after he started tapping his foot impatiently.

“What about Rebecca?” Ah, look at the boy straighten up, all ears. So predictable. “Where is she?”

“She’s in the library doing homework,” I said. I didn’t bother to add that she was actually crying because her jackass boyfriend had once again treated her like dirt. Rebecca had wanted to be alone, and though I hated leaving her alone, I needed an alone time as well…

Which brings me to why I was sitting across from Welder.

“Well, what about Rebecca?” Welder asked his forehead creased into subtle lines, indicating his worry. Now, while I find Welder annoying to the max, his concern over Rebecca touched me. I knew at that moment that choosing him was the right thing to do.

I crossed my arms, clearly uneasy with my nice thoughts about Welder. “As you know Rebecca has a bastard for a boyfriend.”

Welder scoffed. “That’s an understatement.”

I agreed. “Well, look. Rebecca, she deserves so much better than what Jones is giving her. And despite how many times I tell Rebecca to dump the scum, she won’t. So I’m taking matters into my own hand.”

Confusion now replaced Welder’s look of concern. There was also a hint of suspicion riding in his eyes.

“What do you mean?” Welder asked cautiously. “Somehow hearing you ‘taking matters into your own hands’ doesn’t sound at all appealing.”

I rolled my eyes. “Don’t worry idiot. I’m not planning on killing the man. And if I was, I wouldn’t be telling you. Knowing you, you’d probably call the cops and have me haul off to prison. I know you would want nothing better.”

“Wow, I think you actually do have half a brain,” Welder said, his eyes widening in face surprise.

I glared at him, but chose to let that insult roll on by.

“Anyway,” I continued, “what I mean by taking matter into my own hands is that I want Rebecca to finally see that there are decent enough guys out there who would not only treat her right, but would also worship her. I’m tired of Rebecca taking all the abuse and I want her to finally find someone who would make her happy and who would put her before himself….” I paused for a moment, suddenly feeling like if I said the next couple of words, I would choke on them. Welder, his eyebrows raised, looked at me to continue.

“And… Though I racked my brain for days and nights to think of someone who was close to being that guy…” I moved around in my seat, stalling a bit. “I am sad to say that you are that guy….”

There I said it. God help me.

Welder eyes bulged to the point I thought they would pop out. Gee, exaggerate much?

“Me? The spawn of Satan wants me for her best friend?” He asked. Clearly his peanut size brain couldn’t comprehend what I just said.

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, idiot. You. Contrary to popular belief, while I may despise you like no one has despised anyone before, I don’t hate you. Believe me, Jones is the one I save all my hatred for… If you compare my feelings for you to the feelings I have for him… Let’s just say you would be labeling my feelings for you as love.”

To this, Welder shuddered. “First off, don’t ever say love when it involves you and me in a sentence ever again. Second of all, while I am deeply disturbed by this and strangely a bit touched by your opinion of me, which by the way scares the crap out of me, exactly what are you suggesting?”

I sighed. Must I spell it out? Judging by the dumb look on the cow’s face, I guess that’s a yes.

“I am suggesting that you and I work together to tear Rebecca away from William Jones, because frankly he doesn’t deserve her… And by doing this we are going to show Rebecca that there is a guy that loves her and would show that love by being sweet and not abusive….” I struggled to bring out my thoughts. I glanced up at Welder and saw he had this sort of shock look on his face and I knew what he was thinking.

Does he really think he has me fooled?

Seeing that look…

Yes, apparently he does.

I sighed, impatient and dissatisfied with how much time this conversation this was taking up. “Yes, Welder I know that you’re madly in love with Rebecca. You may think you’re pretty sly and subtle about it but trust me, you’re not. Anyway, you’re the only I know who really loves her and even though you’re an ass to me, I know you won’t be to Rebecca… So what do you say? Think you can tolerate me enough to work with me so we could bring you and Rebecca together?”

The thing about Welder, while I despise pretty much everything about him, the only thing that redeems him is that he loves Rebecca. Now while I don’t share this opinion, a lot of the girls actually like the idiot, something about him being cute or something… And that he’s a nice guy or whatever… And I know Rebecca thinks he is a good friend and well… Despite his annoyingness, if there was anyone to not break your best friend’s heart and would be a great boyfriend, well it would be Welder….

He better not ever find out that this is how I think of him. That would be hell.

I stared at Welder expectantly. “Well?”

And you know what the stupid, idiotic cow does in response to my generous offer?

The cow laughs.

Shoot me now….

The idiot continues laughing, sputtering some words that were incomprehensible to the human ears. He started pointing at me, and after giving me another look, he laughed all over again.

Hell, God just drop down a gun. I’ll shoot him instead.