82. Can You Hear Me?

"Can anybody out there hear me? 'Cause I can't seem to hear myself. Can anybody out there see me? 'Cause I can't seem to see myself. There's gotta be a Heaven somewhere. Can you save me from this Hell?"

-Justin Timberlake, "Losing My Way"

Can you hear me?

Screaming my pain

Venting frustrations

held four days?

My music blares

It is my weapon

First at my mother,

then at you.

Then at the one

you really held true.

Is it my own fault

I cry tears of blood?

Or your own stupidity

for leading me on?

My heart is bleeding

torn from thorns.

Did you know?

Where we wrong?

My tears are questions

I voice with song.

I picked up my list

and looked at the themes

surprised that instant

I could write them all.

But they'd be about you,

Which is torment for me.

So I've begged my mother

Who lies sick in bed.

Can we go to Mimzy

instead? No new

movies 'til tomorrow at 6

and then school's next.

Agreed, we go.

The Last Mimzy.

The last show.

Not the last day.

And for hours

The rage and pain

leaves me feeling

empty and content

and I hate you for it.

An escape from reality

to be thrust into

all of it again?

I hate you.

I love you.

Can you hear me?

Screams of a child

screams of a teen

Screams of a lover.

Abandoned and confused.

Music is my weapon

And I play it hard

All the songs that share

my emotions are playing.

Sad, remorseful,

Angry, loving,

all these things

you make me feel.

I hate you.

I love you.

Can any God hear me?

Can you hear me?

I dance alone

In my room

In my mind

At the dance.

Now I lay here

Thinking of movie

To see on that date.

A cursed sixty dollars

that I've spent.

No dress will be bought

and the limo's you problem.

Good luck.

But my inbox's

still full and

I'll read them again.

Old messages

stored in my phone

with a four-letter word

not meant for us.

Can you hear me

when I cry?

Can you hear me

when I scream?

Sally's Song

I'm not the one.

The day is over,

morning young,

and I lay here

and write this,

my final farewell.

I'll see you again,

and I'll still be sad.

But ask me now, please.

The question that holds

four-lettered words:

"Do you love me?"

And I will answer,

"I don't love you

like I loved you

yesterday."

So answer me.

My last wish:

Can you see me?

Can you touch me?

Can you hear me?

This poem is goodbye,

my second goodbye.

Your last one never

reached you.

But this one will.

I love you.

I hate you.

Can you still hear me?

Goodbye, goodbye.

Tormented heart,

Goodbye.

A Last P.S., A Last Farewell

Goodbye, goodbye,

Tormented heart.

It grows anew,

Is is for you?

You are its first,

But not its last.

Goodbye, goodbye,

Tormented one.