LONELY

I sit here, staring out into space,

Looking at nothing in particular.

I hear faint music in the distance,

Its sweet sound filling my ears.

My phone lies in my pocket

As I eagerly await its ring.

Hundreds of books line the shelves,

All adventures and mysteries within them already discovered.

I cough and sniffle a time or two,

The daunting sickness that has plagued me for days.

I’m surrounded by an overwhelming darkness,

And I suddenly find myself in fear.

But fear of what? I ask myself

As I shiver and rub my arms.

Do I fear the nothingness I cannot see?

Do I fear the gentle music sweeping the night?

Do I fear the lack of conversation my phone has given me?

Do I fear the novels I have traveled through in the past?

Do I fear the sickness that has tortured my lungs for three days and counting?

Do I fear the shadows that cover my world with a darkened blanket of black?

Or is it more then that?

Could I, perhaps, fear something within myself

That I am only just beginning to unearth?

Is the merciless terror that stalks my every thought

Coming from deep inside my soul?

But then I realize something

That answers all of my doubts.

I know exactly what it is that I am afraid of.

I fear the loneliness.

I fear the nothingness I cannot see…because I’m afraid that something terrible will come from it and I won’t be able to stop it.

I fear the gentle music sweeping the night…because I’m afraid that it will be the last melody I will ever hear.

I fear the lack of conversation my phone has given me…because I’m afraid that it will never ring when all I need is to hear someone’s comforting voice.

I fear the novels I have traveled through in the past…because I’m afraid that I will have no further adventures to explore into the unknown.

I fear the sickness that has tortured my lungs for three days and counting…because I’m afraid that I will die coughing.

I fear the shadows that cover my world with a darkened blanket of black…because I’m afraid that I will never again see the light.

This is what loneliness feels like.

But then there is always hope and faith.

They will provide the light.

With hope and faith, I will not be afraid of the nothingness because I can see it.

With hope and faith, I will not be afraid of the gentle music because I know that I will hear more blissful melodies.

With hope and faith, I will not be afraid of the lack of conversation because I know that I will hear a comforting voice when I need it most.

With hope and faith, I will not be afraid of the novels I have traveled through because I know there are more pages to turn and more words to read.

With hope and faith, I will not be afraid of the sickness that has tortured me because I will heal and get better in time.

With hope and faith, I will not be afraid of the shadows that cover my world because I know that light will return to me and the darkness will fade.

Though the loneliness has condemned me to feel this fear,

And I’m in no control of its awesome power,

The strength that God has given me will show me the light

And I will conquer all of my fears.